Hello All,
Issue with crying: I want to cry when Im sad - its hard for tears to come out - so the "sad" feelings stops itself cuz tears dont roll out and no tears equals no relief - This causes me to feel like as if "im faking my crying" and I feel dumb afterwards - Does this happen to anyone?
I lost my mother in Sept 10. The worst part of all this was to not be able to cry for her. I cry as though the tears come anyway, and eventually they came back thanks to Restasis at least a bit. It was terrible not to have the release of crying with tears. Find a new way if tears are gone forever for you. You could wail or sob or scream and pound your fists.
I definitely felt as though I could not be sad as I would have liked to. as though like you said, the sadness disappeared before I was ready for it to. I did not like that.
I hope it gets better for you.
Im sorry your mother passed away. That must have been so hard!!!
I feel exactly the way you say it - the sadness goes away before im ready for it to go away - leaving a feeling of heavyness in my heart
My 22 year old dog passed away 2 weeks ago - did a lot of crying and now my eyes are soooooooooooo bad -
Also, Im going through a legal process for family violence/discrimination from my parents - today was a tough day - my heart is breaking because im fearing this legal process might affect their health - and I can´t cry!
im definitely not ready for them passing away
Virgi, I totally relate. No more tears! It's so sad that I can't cry anymore. I used to hate it when I cried too hard and ended up with red puffy eyes. Well, now I'd take the red puffy eyes if I could just really cry with tears again.
It is weird to have no tears while crying. it does kind of take the wind out of your sail.
4kids, I'm so sorry about your mom. I'm sure it will take a lot of time to heal, but slowly it will. I like your idea of finding another way for release. I'm just not sure what. Probably laughing, I get good release when I laugh. Go figure!
Back to Virgi, it sounds like you are going through a lot right now. No wonder you want to cry! I lost my 16 year old dog a couple of years ago, and boy did I cry. Back then I could still cry, and cry. I obviously could still cry with tears back then. It was about that time when all the Sjs kicked in, I guess I cried all my tears away. Just remember that your dog is now in Rainbow Heaven and probably having a blast.
Also, sorry about your family issues. That can be so very tough! Many hugs and prayers to you and your family! They are lucky to have you who obviously cares so much!
I pray for both of you that your sadness really will go away!
Tami
I would love to have a good old fashioned cry like I use to way back when. Tears help your grief "get out " and you start on that road to healing.
Non-SJS folks don't know how precious their tears are.
eye2dry
Virgi, YES!! I always thought that it just meant that I was a little upset but my mind wanted me to be more upset than I really was, so there was no tears. I attributed it to PMS. I actually stopped completely trusting my own feelings because I felt like I was getting myself worked up for no reason since sometimes there are no tears. Like true sadness=tears, and if there are none, then maybe I was trying to make myself sad when I really wasn't??? Does this make any sense? Until Tuesday's positive ss-b result, I never gave Sjogren's a second thought and dry crying was kind of just 'normal' to me. Never knew it could be related to any kind of syndrome or disease. Thought it was all in my head.
So last night in my dreams I got to cry and sob over my Mom. Whoever it was I was talking to, I told them all about how it is hard to go back and see pictures or hear her voice and how hard it is to miss her and that sort of thing. This was followed by dream-sobbing where I had tears and a big huge cry.
Was it ever a nice thing. I am feeling grateful to the universe for that, I found it profoundly meaningful.
Just wanted to share with people who could understand why something so crazy could mean so much. :P
I totally get this! I actually had an ex tell me to stop faking being sad once because there were no tears. People sometimes think that I am unemotional, and I honestly thought this about myself for a while too.
I miss crying. I got a few tears out the other day and it felt good, but lasted just a minute. The short time I had with the tears I enjoyed though....
The flow of tears with emotion is such good release. When the tears refuse to flow, you do not get the same release. It makes it much harder to go through the stages of grieving.
I am not much of a crier in general, but when I do, I pay for it with my eyes burning terribly. But I still wish I could cry more. Last week, I was with some friends in Mexico on vacation and I got laughing so hard, I could barely breathe and tears were rolling down my face! It was great and very cathartic, but my eyes were very sore the rest of the day.
Liz D.
Quote from: Joe S. on February 01, 2012, 07:40:01 AM
The flow of tears with emotion is such good release. When the tears refuse to flow, you do not get the same release. It makes it much harder to go through the stages of grieving.
Just before my flare last September, I had a big argument with my daughter. Never cried, but it remained on my mind for 3 weeks. The I got Bell's Palsy, with radical dry eye because what tears there are escape being held in by the eye structure. For Bell's Palsy I was give Lacriserts by one doctor, with no real instruction on how to use them. In that fourth week, though, I managed to get both eyes producing Lacrisert tears, and late that afternoon I started to cry. It was so great, so helpful to release the feelings, and crying acknowledged how much I had been hurt. Never got the Lacriserts to work again. Now I think Restasis will get my eye into a normal readiness to cry. Let's hope.
Soycoffee
I totally understand, I do not get tears anymore either. It makes me so sad and frustrated when tears do not come. All I get it tightness and eye pressure. :'( >:(
Hello Everybody !
I havent replied but HAVE been reading all your posts - thank you - you all described what I feel exactly !
I am so sorry for those who do not have tears at all -
Did go to my eye doctor day before yesterday - My shirmers test is 8/16 mm when induced for tears - He said no Restasis or plugs until Im at 0 mm.
I just WISH he understood what it is to spend half a day not being able to do anything because your eyes are so hot and inflammed and you cant open them cuz it hurts !!!!
Im using Systane Ultra and TheraTears Gel drops - any other suggestions?
Ill appreciate !!
Regards,
Quote from: Virgi on February 04, 2012, 08:24:40 PM
Im using Systane Ultra and TheraTears Gel drops - any other suggestions?
Warm wet compresses help me when my eyes are annoying me. In a pinch (like in a store) I will run warm water in the sink and put my wet hands on my eyes. Sometimes even the cool water feels good. I think it must just be moisture on my lids in general. I also use the systane gel and systane balance.
Oh my gosh, I am a total crybaby. I do get some tears, but mostly my eyes just burn and my nose gets red. I am not a pretty cryer.
AGAIN; Thank you everybody for replying ! I do read your posts but take a while to answer back - Im so sorry !
Missy Lou Who - I did try the compresses with cold water - did spend a day where I couldnt do A THING until at about 3 pm. - i couldnt open my eyes they were hot, irritated, swollen, light was killing me
the compresses helped a lot !