I am in one of those mood and have to vent to others that will understand. This is illness is something that is on my mind all the time because I am always in pain. I don't want to be self absorbed but it's so frustrating when other don't seem to care. Especially in-laws, it would be nice for someone to ask how are you feeling? Even my best friend doesn't understand. When I complain a little bit she just brushes it off and acts like she goes through the same thing( like all busy moms do.) If just frustrating! I guess it is impossible to understand unless you have a chronic illness. And if people ask and I answer truefully they give me a blank stare. Or I get comments that I must have a low pain tolerance and I sometimes get the guilt trip from my inlaws for taking prescription meds. My 31 yr old sister in law got diagnosed with RA the same time I first got sick. That was fours years ago she has never had to take any meds and does not see a specialist. But everyone compares her to me. They don't understand why she is active and I am not.
Thanks for the vent.
Let me know if anyone else goes through this.
g-d yes, I go through this. I have fantasies about blowing my mother in law up with a stick of dynamite shoved where the sun don't shine. There's no other remedy for unsympathetic, moronic, selfish relatives.
;)
Left untreated, RA can be very nasty. Pain that is in others is hard to understand when it is not your own. There are things that you can do to help yourself.
Try to sleep with a polar fleece mumps scarf to help the ear and gland pain. (This may be a product for the Sjogren's world forum as a fund raiser.)
I have a simple meditation that helps with managing the pain. Find a comfortable position and close your eyes. With your eyes closed, look to the top of your forehead. Breathe in and think "I am" breathe out and think "calm".
These are two simple things that you can do to help yourself.
I use tones (they are free) for mumps (Glands), dry eye, and dry mouth.
www.chakraforce.com
Ah yes, in-laws. I'll tell you what my brother-in-law said about me.
Is anyone familiar with the movie "Unbreakable"? The character that Samuel L. Jackson plays has a disease that causes his bones to fracture easily, and he is quite disabled.
Well, my BIL informed everyone that this character reminded him of me. >:( This was years prior to my diagnosis, and I was sick all the time. I was just devastated. People can be very cruel.
Hi Sleepy101,
You mentioned that when people ask how you are you answer truthfully. I know what you mean. I guess we should just say we are fine. I can't help but answer truthfully. I guess we should try to shield them from the truth? My parents do care and always ask how I am. My Dad will then ask, do you think this medicine will help and make this go away? No, this will never go away. I will have good days and bad days, but it will never go away. They don't understand. Then they worry. Rock and a hard place I guess..........
I know what you mean. I think part of it is that "you look fine" so how can you actually be sick?
I don't tell people at work - they won't get it and they don't need to know. People still ask a lot, since I was out on FMLA for 10 weeks. Oddly enough, I found that a relatively new person at work has Sjogrens too. I couldn't believe it when she told me. She was like - you have probably never heard of this but I have a condition called Sjogrens. I swear I almost hugged her. Even though she has a mild case, we can talk. Not often, mind you but still.
My family is very kind as are my in-laws. I guess its repayment (bad choice of words) for my first marruage where my MIL HATED me. And I wasn't sick then, but she was just awful.
I tell my mom the truth, as she can always hear in my voice how I am doing. Moms always know! This sounds odd, but I worry about how much she worries about me. Fortunately I recently went through a fairly good period of two weeks. Now that it's COLD I hurt all over.
It's OK if they don't get it. Opinions are like ______, everyone has one. (can't use the language, but you know...)
HUGS!!!!
KellyG
Eek!
This thread is not boosting my confidence in telling my BF's parents about my problems. :o
It would be absolutely horrible to get accused of just being lazy and wimpy.
I've only recently realized what I've put up with as "normal" just because I got brought up to never complain ever.
Only in past years started using painkillers because as a kid I wasn't allowed to "waste" painkillers on "minor" things.
And it's not okay AT ALL >_< guessing printing out info sheets about the illness for them to read wouldn't help either if they already made their minds up.
Don't think it's being self absorbed to expect "family" to care, always hated when people ask you how you are and then don't want a honnest answer.
Especially annoying when they already half turn away before you even replied, just expecting a "yes everything is grand" + plastered on fake smile.
I try to limit my time with "energy vampires" it's not worth the pain and suffering to try and get along with them.
Would be easier if the old "if you got nothing nice to say then say nothing at all" would be used more often.
Quote from: Suzie on December 03, 2011, 04:53:26 AM
g-d yes, I go through this. I have fantasies about blowing my mother in law up with a stick of dynamite shoved where the sun don't shine. There's no other remedy for unsympathetic, moronic, selfish relatives.
;)
We REALLY need a "like" button on here!!