I did it! I got out in the great weather over lunch and went for a 3 mile run with my friend! Only had to walk a small portion of it, but we did run at a slow 12.4 pace. Oh, I feel so accomplished. But at the same time, guilty. How does that look to my boss/co-workers who see me missing work due to fatigue? Will they understand that some days I'm good and other days I'm not? Will they understand that some days the running helps, and other days it hurts? Should I even care?
Yes, I do care. Because I have missed so much work in the past two months. I've never missed so much in my career! Between headaches due to the dry eyes and extreme fatigue that causes me to either not wake up in the mornings(or even in the afternoon some days) or to fall asleep at my desk about two hours into a work day, I've missed a lot.
The sun felt good though. Although, I will probably get a slight rash from it. I don't want sunscreen because that will just block vitamin D and I really need all the help I can get there!
Right now, my life is full of "be damned if you do, be darned if you don't" decisions. I will take them one decision at a time. If and when I get a diagnosis, I will have open discussions with those that need to know about what I'm facing.
My work is still good and I'm still managing to be somewhat productive (just not up to my normal high levels). In 5 years, I can leave my employment and maintain benefits at employee rates....that is my goal.
I hope to keep running as much as I can. I have a second half marathon in my list of things to do in the beginning of December. Hope to break the 3 hour record I did my first one at. lol
Hi Lisa.
I can totally relate to your love of running and just getting out side to exercise and not wanting to give that up. I love to walk everyday rain or shine. I walk between 3 and 5 miles. Some days it hurts and some days I am super woman, and some days I pay the price later.
On one of my bad days I had a friend ak me why I pushed myself, why not just give it up and I told her what my rheumy said. That I have to keep moving, and exercising because it is good for me joints and my overall health. So If your boss or coworkers ask you why you can run but cant get into work sometimes, tell them you NEED to exercise,for your physical and mental health.
Do NOT feel guilty for taking care of yourself! I too like to go for a 3 mile run 4-5 times a week, and it does me wonders. It's the only time I feel normal again. Plus, numerous studies have highlighted the long term benefit of exercise. It has been shown to lower your inflammation rate over time, boost your mood, boost your energy, etc.. If you can still do it, do it! Especially if it makes you feel good. You and your health are what matters - not how your co-workers perceive you!
Hi! I go through the same thing. Even though I have mostly stuck it out at work, sometimes I feel like death warmed over. At least I have a desk job, but it's very mentally challenging. I get flares and lose my balance, walk into walls, drop things and get real bad brain fog.
I have even had some running friends say "then how can you run?" I can't explain it to a non-Sjoggie. It's like you said, good days and bad days. Some days I try to run and my legs just won't go, and my lungs won't cooperate either. Other days I feel pretty good and can go 4 miles.
I think we are all learning about this disease because it is so individual.
All I know is I am not going to give up my running (which is only twice a week).
Stay with it, girl :-*
Hi! I've been struggling with this same thing since I was first diagnosed 12 years ago. I've continued to work full time and it has been difficult to keep up. And I have heard the same thing from co-workers, friends and even FAMILY; how come you can do yoga or go to cookouts or sporting events but you can't make it to work every day? And at times it has made me feel terrible. I think, "Oh man, they are right. I'm a terrible person with terrible work ethic?!" Only you know what, the disease will never go away, which means you will continue to miss work, so the only solution (the only way to "please" all of these people) would be to give up the stuff you enjoy. I say to heck with that. If I take away the yoga and the cookouts and the sporting events we attend, then all that leaves me with is work, missing work, housework, and being sick. Yippee! Life with Sjogrens can be so miserable that I will TAKE EVERY GOOD TIME I CAN GET, and frankly I don't care what the rest of them think. In the end, it is about me and not them.
I agree!
I think Joes idea to have everyone read the "spoon theory" is the only way to explain it. We are stuck with this disease so we should be able to use our spoons as we see fit! :-))
decided what the heck....I'm off to run a 5K this morning. I'll gather more spoons by taking a long nap later.