Author Topic: Problems at work!  (Read 4716 times)


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Problems at work!
« on: May 16, 2008, 06:50:00 PM »
I have already shared some of my issues at work as they have been going on for a little over a month now! I have been in the Special Education field for over 25 years and at my current job for over 10 years. I recently just got a new boss as our old Administrator moved to a different area. I supervise the entire day program with over 65 adults with developmental disabilities in 3 different programs and the staff that work in the classrooms, the workshop and the community with them. new supervisor decided after being with us for less than 2 months that he wanted to fire me. There were many decisions and budget problems that were really out of my hands from the previous year and the previous exec that I was being blamed for. I decided to put in a 30 day notice instead of being fired. The next day he said he would not accept my notice and he was going to fire me on the  spot or we would work this out. I stayed at said we could work on this.

I have been trying the last 3 weeks to do everything that he wants but he is being unrealistic and unfair, not to mention that he is undermining my authority as a supervisor by going to my staff before going to me. He said today when I approached him about being kept in the loop that I should not expect to be in the loop when he is monitoring my job performance. I supervise everyone in the building except for him and the front office! I should know what going on when he wants to change something around with my staff.

He is watching my every move and I'm sure he is going to fire me especially when I asked this question about why I am not included in decisions about my staff and department when I am being held accountable for the department. He does not like to be questioned! He is angry and I don't know why he is after me so. I helped run the place for 2 months before he came when we had no exec!

I need some advice...should I let him fire me? Should I quit first? The reason I stay is because I make decent money and mostly because I NEED NEED NEEDthe insurance badly! Any suggestions.....I need some...any would help!

Sorry for the rant! But it helps to get it out!


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Re: Problems at work!
« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2008, 07:15:03 PM »
Oh Lynnmarie!

Wow, can I send a bazooka up his nether regions for you?  Dang!  One question for you, what do you really want to do? 

If you want to fight for your job, find a really good lawyer, especially one specializing in hostile work environments.  Your supervisor is undermining you, and are you documenting everything?  All the hostile comments, the going straight to the employees, having meetings without you that you previously always attended, whatever you can think of, every single thing.  He sounds like he has a bit of a Napoleon complex, how sad is that?

I've seen this situation before and it's so sad because it doesn't have to be.  Please be strong and don't let him get to you.  Please, please keep us updated, okay?

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Re: Problems at work!
« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2008, 08:02:55 PM »
Dear Lynnmarie:

What an awful situation! Don't give in to it - getting legal help is pretty important. I forget what state you are in, but often you can get some inexpensive or free legal help about employment rights from a legal non-profit of some sort. I know here in Seattle the Northwest Women's Law Center will do this. You can Google them, call them, and ask for a referral to a similar group where you are. They are a great group and have done some very good advocacy for women in these employment pickles.

Most likely the new admin feels threatened by you (since you are established there and obviously competent), and is trying to raise himself up and make himself seem important by putting you down. That's the way these situations usually work.

Please let us know how this is proceeding.



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Re: Problems at work!
« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2008, 08:54:10 PM »
Hi Lynnmarie,

May I make a suggestion.  I haven't been in the work force for many years, but when my hubby was having problems with a certain so called "boss" he purchased a voice activated recording machine and kept it in his pocket.  He remained professional when encountering this "boss" and when the time came to put his cards on the table, he played the recordings for the real Boss and quess who got the boot.  It wasn't my hubby. 

Actual words speak volumes, don't let this guy do a number on you.  Kill him with kindness and let him hang himself. 

Hugs, Pooh


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Re: Problems at work!
« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2008, 07:18:14 AM »
What a situation to be stuck in!

I think one of your questions answered it's self:
He is angry and I don't know why he is after me so. I helped run the place for 2 months before he came when we had no exec
He's intimidated that you were able to manage HIS job, and wants you out of there so there's no reminder to his bosses.

I'm not sure what the legal consequences of quit vs fired would be in your state regarding employment insurance, but it seems to me that he's running a risk of unlawful dismissal if he fires you, especially if you have documentation of his activities. The easiest way to keep that sort of record is to note any of his threats, remarks or accusations; any written memos (although he probably won't commit himself to writing), and statements from any co-workers who are willing; and send them to yourself as a registered letter, then don't open it. That way you have time stamped, secure, unalterable evidence to be opened in the presence of whatever authority you choose to persue this. The voice recorder is also a great idea, but some states have laws about recording another person without their knowledge.

I also think you should seek legal advise...there must be some sort of employee advocacy in your state, isn't there?
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Re: Problems at work!
« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2008, 09:00:25 AM »
Wow, the nerve of some people! 

It does sound like this guy has issues.  I agree with the rest, get some legal help, it seems cut and dry that he is out to get you.

Let us know what happens.

take Care


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Re: Problems at work!
« Reply #6 on: May 17, 2008, 11:22:16 AM »
Thanks all.....I was really mad and upset when I wrote this...thus the reason for the length of it! I guess I needed to just get it out again last night!

I just want to be treated fairly...I don't want to rip apart the agency because we are small and we are broke (we are in social services and Illinois doesn't look at our disabled as a priority when it comes to money...thats not just us...its everywhere in the state unfortunately). I love the clients I work with and me dragging the agency through the mud wouldn't help them....but I do want to make my boss knock it off.

I am taking your advice...writing things down...and yes....he has emailed me some things (pretty dumb, huh?) that I have copied and have in a nice little folder. I know I'm not perfect and the job I'm doing now used to be done by at least 3 people (sometimes more  when we had money in good years for warehouse supervisors etc) so when I say I'm overwhelmed sometimes I AM ! I tried to talk to him about that in the beginning and that was a big NO NO....he did not want to hear that so I don't say it to him anymore..but I still feel that way!

There was even a couple of times I began to cry after becoming upset ( I could have kicked myself for it....but couldn't help it) and he had the nerve to tell me (as I'm crying) that he tends not to trust people that cry because in his experience that usually meant they were lying! He is in Human and Social services and says that?? Hmmmmm...somethings wrong there....   

Thanks so much all.....reading your thoughts gives me the encouragement to fight instead of curling up and giving in! Ill keep ya posted!


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Re: Problems at work!
« Reply #7 on: May 17, 2008, 01:36:54 PM »

I'm so sorry for your situation. In the UK, if he forced you to resign, that could be considered 'constructive dismissal' and you could take him to tribunal. I also wonder whether your health is influencing the way he is treating you. If it is, could he be found guilty of 'disability discrimination'?

Sending you my very best wishes.



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Re: Problems at work!
« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2008, 08:52:56 AM »
Lynnmarie, the person who told you to keep a list was "right on."  Keep the comments to facts, as "feelings" really don't cut it when you might have to use your list.  I was in this situation 3 years ago.  When I finally "had the talk" with my boss, he sat there squinting at me........."give me some examples (of him yelling at me in front of others)."  Well, I had 3 that I was able to recall right off the bat and he couldn't wiggle out of that. 

Don't do any of this on your work computer.  Keep a little notepad in your purse/pocket to jot down notes so you don't forget.  If things become really bad, don't forget you can see your doctor and ask for a leave for "stress."  None of this is ideal, but neither being bullied at your job.  Lucy

P.S. Your Human Resources Department is really on the side of the employer, not the employee.  No matter how supportive they try to sound, they really do work for the BOSS.  Many people don't realize this until it's apparent.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2008, 08:58:26 AM by eyeamdry »


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Re: Problems at work!
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2008, 08:59:39 PM »

I'm SO sorry to hear of the trouble you're having.  I have to agree with eyeamdry Don't go to human resources with any of this, and don't keep your notes on your office computer.  Is there someone higher up in the company that you can feel comfortable talking to?

I learned the hard way, when I injured my back during a photo shoot at work, that "companies" are not the same as "people".  I know that sounds silly.  But a whole new mind-set takes place when something threatens the "bottom line" as I did by filing a workers' comp claim.

If your company starts to see you as some sort of problem - which this man seems to be trying to do - years of dedicated service may mean nothing if he can prove you're hurting the bottom line.

I would definitely speak with someone higher up in the company  - not HR (no offense to any HR people out there) but once you get up into higher management,  HR doesn't have alot of sway.  You need the backing of someone in the head office who knows your history and dedication to this job.

If no such person exists, take any notes you've made, copies of good reviews, pay raises and the rest and speak to an employment attorney.

I hope this works out or you without the attorney.  Even though getting one was the best thing I ever did, and my situation was much different than yours, once the company knew I'd talked to an attorney, our relationship was over.  I was just a problem they were looking for themost expedient, legal way to get rid of.

Best of luck to you,
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Re: Problems at work!
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2008, 09:34:32 PM »
My HR Department was plugged directly into the President.  Once "they" start on you, it's tough to get anyone to stand with you.  As Tracy said, "it's all about the bottom line."   Lucy


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Re: Problems at work!
« Reply #11 on: May 19, 2008, 10:49:24 PM »
Since I just went through being fired and looking at unemployment, I think I have something to offer here. If you quit, you will have a hard time getting unemployment. You need to prove that it was a hostile work environment. Keep notes, quotes, and all written things. Write down and copy whatever communications you have, try not to have oral conversations. A hostile work environment is grounds for a lawsuit, but know you'll probably lose your job in the process. I'd try to shine the guy on as long as possible to find out exactly what his issue is. If he is your boss, even those higher up will maybe take his side. If you are downsized, you can get unemployment no problem.

The issue my employer now has is that they fired the disabled. It's a big no no. They also put down my doctor's appts as reasons for termination, although I have plenty of emails, cards, etc. to back up all the thanks I got for my job. No warnings were ever given. They were aware of my condition. I've spoken to a lawyer who says I will win a lawsuit, and believe me, I AM filing one. I wish you luck in this stressful time.