Have a temper anyone???

[stegello08]

Okay....I have always been a mild person, and easy to get along with. Seldom did I ever get upset about too much, and never did I loose my temper. Since I had my second daughter 18 months ago, I have this temper that I never knew about. Now for some reason, it's only my DH who gets me that upset, but still sometimes I loose control. I throw things, push him, scream, and sometimes after I'm done with my fit I just cry, because I'm can't believe I got like that. I have been praying that God will help me with my temper issues. I've been thinking my hormones are really off balance. I am on birth control, but it's an IUD, so it's not suppose to mess with my hormones from what my OBGYN says. Will SjS do anything to our hormones to make this happen? If anyone knows what could cause this please let me know. Like I said I'm an easy going person, so this is new to me.

[eyeamdry]

Stegello, hi there.
Do you have Sjogrens?  I'm assuming you do, but you didn't say so in this post.    Having a second child is a big change in the family structure and lots more work.  I can see how things would add up to you being tired, cranky and out of sorts.  Have you talked to your doctor?  They can check your hormone levels and that could give you a clue.

An IUD should not mess with your hormones.   There is a thread going here about SJS and hormones by "Gurs."  You might want to take a look at it and find the wide range of comments.  You really need to talk to your doctor and see what is going on.  Perhaps some adjustments in hormones are needed after all.  Or maybe a mild anti-depressant, but chances are they can help.  Don't do this to yourself, and seek help.  Good luck.  Lucy

http://sjogrensworld.org/forums/index.php?topic=5090.0

[Scottietottie]

Hi Steggelo  

Having kids really upsets the hormone balance big time and many people don't get back to the 'normal' they had before - or not quickly anyway. Birth puts a big strain on our system and babies are hard work and there's no getting round it. It's hard for people who aren't ill never mind thjose with SjS or the like.

It might be worth having a word with your doc or your baby clinic about it. Rule out possible thyroid imbalance - post natal depression which can take different forms.

The modern world shows us wonderful images of happy families and of how babies and mothers are meant to be - but the babies haven't seen the shows or read the books! They are hard work!

Take care - Scottie  

[irish]

These gals gave you some good advice. It is really hard to get organized etc after having that second child. Your time is not your own and sleep is hard to come by. The hormones are screwed up. Did you know that pregnancy raises estrogen 1000% and imagine what happens after delivery---a big drop!!!

The obvious thing to do with our frustration is to take it out on the nearest and dearest person and that usually is the husband. Like the others said, talk to your doc and if they think antidepressant is needed do it as it will level out the emotions until the body gets back into its right rhythm. Also, Scottie mentioned the thyroid issues and she is really right on. Many women have thyroid issues and it is never identified or treated or diagnosis takes way too long. Good luck and please know that these days will pass. When you feel like this it sometimes helps to just leave the kids with hubby and go outside and walk around the block or just walk in the yard, have a good cry and get rid of all that pent up stuff. Keep in touch. Irish

[Annj5]

Gosh, your life is really really busy right now. I remember those early days with kids, and it's tough. If you do have Sjogren's Syndrome, those days are even tougher.

I have problems with a very low energy level related to my Sjs. When my fatigue really kicks in, it seems as though my temper is really easily fired up. I have learned that when I find myself lashing out at hubby or kids, it is time for me to find a quiet spot and rest. After even five minutes, I can feel my spirits recover.

I know with small children it is really difficult to find time for you to get adequate rest, but this is a very important thing to problem solve. You may be right that your hormones are still in flux from your pregnancy, but it also may be related to your Sjogren's, if that is indeed what you are dealing with.

Best of luck, and remember that this forum is a great place for information and unconditional support.

Julia

[Linda196]

Stephanie, if I remember correctly (and I'm going back 30 years for this) just looking after 2 little ones all day, squeezing in a bit of work, and dealing with a chronic illness (in my case it was sarcoidosis, another immune disease) was more than enough to have me fly off the handle if anyone (usually DH) even thought about crossing me! Sometimes just seeing him coming through the door after he got to be out in the world all day and I was "stuck at home" was enough to set me off.

As has been said, you're really still in the post partum hormone flux period, plus you did have major surgery, no matter how much a Cesarean section is downplayed. Thyroid can be a real issue, because both pregnancy and SjS can cause thyroid disruption, and a few simple blood tests can determine that. You are facing many changes in your life, and your daughter is at the age now when her energy and activity levels sometimes seem endless, while yours are, at best, on hold.

Does DH understand SjS? It may help both of you for him to learn about the many varied aspects of dealing with chronic illness. Also, he may appreciate learning that probably one of the reasons he is the target of your temper, is simply that he's closest...not that you are angry with him in the biggest sense, but that he is the lucky person with whom you feel most comfortable and at ease, and he's also the most available emotionally to you.

By all means bring this "symptom" up to your doctor...it is a change in your usual condition, and merits medical consideration.

[stegello08]

Thanks everyone for all of your replies. I did mentioned it to my OBGYN, but she said as long as it's not affecting my daily activities I should be fine. After thinking about that question, I realized that it's not stopping me from performing my day to day activities, but when it does happen I get so upset. I am a little nervous with the whole antidepressant idea. I guess there are so many bad things I have heard about them. Hopefully in the next few weeks, with all of my doctors appointments I have with these specialists, they will recommend something to help me with my postpartum hormones.

Thanks again...you guys are the best!

[Debora]

Hi Stephanie

I used to have a terrible temper, I'm now taking Wellbutrin to help take the edge off.  My ex-husband used to tell me while I'm on the ceiling I might as well get the cobwebs.

Take Care
Debora

[stegello08]

lol that's halarious. What is Wellbutrin and what exactly does it do? I am about to start therapy with a Christian counselor because I get so mad at my husband I totally loose it. Not healthy for any of us.

[Debora]

Hi Stephanie

Wellbutrin is an anti-depressant,  I've tried other anti-depressants and found that wellbutrin works for me.  I've learned to go to God first sign of losing my temper and boy that sure helps me calm down!

I did counseling for about 3 years which really helped alot.  I thought I was crazy because no one believed me that I didn't feel good, all they saw was me "being lazy and forgetful.  all of this was before I was diagnosed.

When I had a cheek biopsy done and it came back 100% positive, then my family and friends believed something was wrong but still didn't understand what Sjogrens was.  I told them it was kind of like lupus of the blood! (this is how I feel) They know what Lupus is so that was the closest way to explain it to them.

My ex finally got a clue of what Sjogrens is when he had to stay at my house after his surgery and saw that I was going thru a flare, same with my Mom.  After seeing what I go thru when I'm sick, she understands now.  She was with me for about 3 weeks and saw me go from having a little cut that got infected to me having the flu and being diagnosed with scoliosis!

Well enough of me going on and on

Take Care
Debora

[stegello08]

Debora,

I'm always praying that God will help me with my temper. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't... I'm a little scard of anti-depressants, but if it was something really mild, I wouldn't mind trying it just to keep me calm. Thanks for your advice!

[wordnerd]

I just wanted to throw out there that steroids (ie Prednisone) can really really mess with your temper.  I'm normally outwardly a pretty calm person, but on high doses of Prednisone I'm a total mess.  I'll have tantrums like a 3 year old.  Rage and/or cry uncontrollably.  I've even taken a swing at family members if provoked (not that I'm capable of actually hurting anyone in my completely de-conditioned state).  My psychiatrist has told me that Prednisone is the number one cause of medication induced psychosis.

However, in Prednisone's defense it is pretty much the only med that works right away for autoimmune.  Given the choice between taking Prednisone for a bad flare or spending 6 weeks in the hospital with a feeding tube... I'd take Prednisone.

Also... being constantly extremely fatigued, in pain, and dealing with the limitation of a chronic illness is more than enough reason to be more than a tad cranky.  I really feel its a grieving process.  For the life we had and the life we feel we should have or would have had.  For the friends we lost.  For the things we miss out on.  For the goals the now seem out of reach.  For the little things we never noticed before, but now miss so much.  Anger is just one step along the way.

-Lauren

[quiger]

No temper here but I do have less patience than I did before. I find that I am much more easily annoyed than I used to be. I know it's not a big deal but still a change for me.

quiger

[ktfabian]

Hi Stephanie-

I'm not sure I'd started full-fledged SJS after my second baby, but I do remember the tantrums. I had c-sections for both my boys, and the oldest had just turned three when the baby was born.  I was a madhouse - trying to get everything done - take care of the boys, get the m fed and of course while I was breast feeding #2, #1 was pooping in his pants.  Taking care of the boys, taking the daily calls from my M-I-L who meant well but always called at the worst time.  Then my husband would work late without calling when what I really needed was for him to walk through the door with dinner all ready in hand. Temper Tantrum??? The way I went off back then, You would have thought I'd invented them.  My husband would look at me like I was absolutely nuts.
No one but a woman going through or who has gone through it truly  understands how difficult the first years of a babies life are on a Mom.  Especially a Mom already dealing with a chronic disease.

Try to take it easy on yourself.  You may find, like I did with my second, that I was the one putting all the pressure on myself to make everything perfect when the chances of that are slim to numb.  I would talk to you OB as well as your rheumatologist and get all the help you can getting yourself to feel like you  have some control over your situation.  If that means hormone replacement for a short time, if the risks are less than the benefits, give yourself a break/
Once you take some pressure off yourself, you may find your temper tantrums slow down a bit, too.

Tracy

[stegello08]

Well I called today to get in with a christian counselor. I am feeling really overwhelmed right now with managing an apartment complex, going to school full-time, my marital problems, kids, and not to mentioned a little thing called Sjogrens syndrome and everything that goes with that. I am strongly considering getting on something that will kind of take the edge off, so I will talk to my doctors about it. I have so much going on, I have got behind in college. I need something that will help me focus.  So my first appt. is next Wednesday and I'm really excited about talking to someone!