2016 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .

[Bucky]

Laughter . . . who doesn't feel better when something strikes their funny bone and it brings a smile, chuckle, belly laugh or tears (or on occasions a snort . . LOL)??    Laughter is one of those stress relieving things that can change your mood in an instant.  Have you ever been in a stressful, tense environment when someone "lightened" the mood by telling a joke?  Laughter lightens the mood.

I come from a joke telling family.  My Dad loved to tell jokes.  IF we didn't laugh the first time, he would repeat it!     We'd tell him "Dad, we got it the first time!".  LOL

So . . . here's the deal.  This thread is about jokes or life stories that have brought laughter or smiles into your life that you would like to share (please keep them "clean").    Let's have fun with this and also help bring some laughter into our lives on this Sjogren's road journey we're all on - where sometimes in our health issues there is nothing to laugh about.


Here we go . . . .

Lauren was frustrated.  She had complained dozens of times to her daughter about her newest gag of kissing the bathroom mirror immediately after applying lipstick, but it was all to no avail.  Finally, one day after spending a half hour scrubbing the mirror, only to find another kiss mark an hour later, Lauren had had enough.

"Lizzy!" she hollered.  "What?" came her daughters reply through her bedroom door.

"I can't find the toilet brush that I've been using to clean the bathroom mirror.  Do you have any idea where it is?"

After hearing the gagging from behind the bedroom door, Lauren knew her days of cleaning kiss marks off the mirrors were over.   

                                    (as seen on Great Clean Jokes)

[Linda196]

A couple of one-liners a friend sent me:

Support Bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

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Jury:  Twelve people who determine which client has the better
attorney.

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There are two kinds of pedestrians . . . the quick and the dead.

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Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

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Shin:  a device for finding furniture in the dark.

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The factory of the future will have two employees, a man and a dog.
The man will be there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to keep the
man from touching the computers.

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Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

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How many men does it take to change the toilet paper roll?
Nobody Knows!

[Bucky]

Good ones, Linda!   

An irate patient called our pathology group demanding that I explain every lab test on her statement.

"Of course", I said.

I brought up her bill:  "Number one, urinalysis . . . "

She interrupted me, "I'm a what?!"

                                                    Reader's Digest

[Bucky]

A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino's Pizza:

Customer:  Yo, I ordered a pizza and it came with no toppings on it or anything, it's just bread.

Dominos:  We're sorry to hear about this!

Customer (minutes later):  Never mind, I opened the pizza box upside down. 

[Bucky]

"My memory is gone Mildred, so I changed my
password to "incorrect".  That way, when I log in
with the wrong password, the computer will tell me,
"your password is incorrect!"."         

                            Great Clean Jokes

[Scottietottie]

That's not such a bad idea!

[Bucky]

The boss of our small company was complaining during a staff meeting that people didn't respect him enough.

Trying to change the attitude in the office, he came in the next day with a sign for his door - it said, "I am the boss".

One of the employees apparently not appreciating the change posted a post-a-note on the sign - it said - "your wife wants her sign back".

 

[Bucky]

Mechanic Vs. Surgeon

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley,
when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his shop.

The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix'em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I get a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to the mechanic . . . "Try doing it with the engine running!".

 

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Doesn't anyone else have any laughter to share?!?

[Bucky]

Sam walks into his boss's office.  "Sir, I'll be straight with you, I know the economy isn't great, but I have three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise."

After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5% raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave.

"By the way", asks the boss as Sam is getting up, "which companies are after you?"  "The electric company, water company, and phone company", Sam replied.

                                  ~  Great clean jokes ~

[Bucky]

I think I have the urge to get up and clean the house. 

Wait . . . . No.  False alarm.   

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For those who switch to Daylight Savings time, don't forget to spring forward tonight when you go to bed.  Have a good Saturday everyone!