Wow, Amanda, thanks for all the advice. All kidding aside from my post, I really did want to know if you let the person know about you illness before the date or on subsequent dates. I have a habit of giving out too much info too soon. I think you totally changed my mind about online dating. Probably easier to take out my own garbage. I'm too tired anyway. 
Hugs,
Maria
Maria, that is a very good question.
Personally, I would only disclose on a need to know basis. Allow me to explain. A lot of that is a judgment call on your part.
A first meeting is just that, a first meeting. At that point, the man is only an acquaintance - still more of a stranger really and as such has no need to know.
That being said, on a case by case basis, balance in your decision how often you have been out with this man, what is he looking for vs what are you looking for.
Do a lot of listening, pay attention to his attitudes about things such as illness, or the disabled, or perhaps he has co-workers in that spot and maybe is understanding or maybe has a real negative perception of those people. That sort of listening. Also, listen to HIS interests and activities. If you know that those are not within your ability to do any longer, that's a good open door to begin to approach your limitations.
When I was meeting up with someone met on dating site, I pretty much felt that by the third date, it was time to begin (key word begin) getting a temperature check on what his opinions were about values (which also has a role in chronic illness)
Very few that I met via dating site went beyond 1st meeting. In a first meeting, personally I didn't feel an obligation to "bare my soul" about my medical problems, That kind of trust (which yes does flow both ways) takes time to develop. I got to the point that if I heard ONE MORE TIME at a first meeting "I had no idea you were so beautiful from your picture"...I was done and many times in that circumstance thanked the guy for meeting but best we not continue with dinner or whatever our plans were, but not in an ugly way - rather in a respectful way.
Plus even if chatting online with a potential guy is still not knowing that person enough to disclose your personal business to. Even if chatting with a guy for several months. Oh, that is a common approach used by scammers. Keep you in chat for months, they typically fall in love quickly, have a myriad of reasons NOT to meet you early one. You get an interest like that, best to err on the part of caution and go NEXT.
My practice, if after initial back and forth communications there was shared interest in meeting, I went for early meeting from the first online hello. I can assess better if that person is on the up and up face to face. Put brain in gear before engaging emotions.
Now, as I have VISIBLE challenges as obvious due to my knee braces - THAT I would disclose if we were going to meet. Made it easier for one thing for him to find me in a crowded public place (LOL), plus if that part bothered him - well no point in meeting at all, as if he can't handle visible challenges - unlikely he will be able to accept invisible challenges.
If a relationship begins to develop to a deeper level, by all means it then becomes necessary that the guy have the opportunity to make an informed decision on whether that part of you is something he can handle on a sustained or potentially permanent basis.
My preference is not to disclose too quickly. Some people may perceive that as being deceptive. But in reality, it is not - it is about balancing discernment with self-preservation and taking the time to know who you are associating with.
The reality is that chronic illness does affect our self esteem to varying degrees thereby resulting in increased vulnerability.
As you how you phrase your profile? Life experience has taught me that look for a relationship, odds are not going to find one. Relationships don't fall into our laps. They develop over time.
looking for friends with common interests. I was content to have a friendship, and if something more developed that was mutual, even better. If not, that was okay too.
I think you will know when the time is right to discuss your medical situation. I go on my "gut hunch sense" on a lot of things, and it's proven to be more spot on reliable for me.
Another tip? Do not allow anyone to objectify you. Such as "oh you're so perfect" or similar terminology, such as not even met face to face and aleady the guy is in love with you - RED FLAG with sirens. In that circumstance, he doesn't KNOW you to love you.
By the way, there isn't anything I've said here that I wouldn't say to a man considering a dating site. Even men get scammed, even men get objectified.
Hugs
Amanda
