Autoimmunity, this process has been a real eye-opening experience for me. The rough part was that once you are eligible for SSD, you
have to wait 2 years to be eligible for Medicare. This makes absolutely no sense to me. Since I wasn't working during those 2 years, I
couldn't afford and/or qualify for medical insurance. I made just enough to not qualify for Medicaid. So I went 2 years with very few
doctors visits because I couldn't afford it. I'm sure this didn't help my condition any, but I didn't have any choice. So for my appeal to
the insurance company, I had relatively few current medical records. I only had those few plus all the visits I've had with specialists
since January, when I became eligible for Medicare. They denied my benefits starting in December while I was still uninsured. The
medical documentation I have provided these past 6 months, they say are not considered since the "diagnosis" had to be before the
December determination. I know, that is stupid and I am screwed.

As for the psych tests I took, I can't say why the results came back as they did. My undergrad degree is in psychology, so I am familiar
with these type of tests, and the "controls" built in to determine if someone is faking or not giving it their best shot. There were
several types of tests that you had to chose which situation would apply to you. I asked the Dr. how to answer these because none
of the selections would apply to me. He said just answer something. The questions were something like, would you rather rob a bank
or steal a purse? Well, duh, I wouldn't do either of these. So I'm sitting there trying to figure out the best answer...are they trying to
decide if I'm violent and would use a gun, or just sneaky and would rip off an old lady? LOL no winning here!!! Regardless of what I
would have answered or how I did on the test, the insurance company sent their own "expert" to test me rather than referring me to
a local expert. They have no intention of paying LTD for the next 4 years that I am entitled to it.
What I have learned from this site and the fine and supporting people here is to trust and believe in myself. I've decided I can
only control what I do, or how I feel. I have decided that I will not let anyone else define who I am, or worry if they think I might
be "faking" my illness. I know what is real and I will not make any apologies for being sick anymore. The last 2 years I worked almost
killed me from stress, trying to work when I was sick, couldn't think to save my life, and an exhaustion and sleep deprivation beyond
description. I used to work at least 60 hours a week, plus I was working on my Master's Degree. Yes my life is different now. I may
have limited income, but I can take a nap when I need it, and be as active and involved as I want to be. I can't describe how
wonderful it is to sleep in when I am tired, drink a cup of coffee on my deck in the morning enjoying the birds, sunshine, and not be
worried about being late, forgetting something, missing a meeting, getting stuck in traffic, or be on a dead run from morning to
night. I've realized that I am in charge of my life, and I will do what I need to do on my terms. I think I've become a better mother,
daughter, grandmother, and friend since I've gotten sick and given up my job. My family will attest to this!!! I think we just have to
keep encouraging each other and remind ourselves that being sick isn't what we planned or wanted, but it can be an incredible
journey when we treasure those wonderful moments that we used to miss out on or take for granted. I am learning to be more
patient, and kind to myself. I'm learning to say "no" when I'm asked to do something that takes too much out of me. The spoon
theory that I read on this site was helpful, in fact, I shared it with my family. If one of my daughters wants to know if I will do
something for them, go somewhere, or babysit, I'll tell them "yes" if I have enough spoons left to do it!!! They are beginning to
understand that some days I just don't have the steam, even if I look OK. I forget sometimes and get frustrated and want to vent,
but then someone with a level head on this site will reassure me, and I immediately understand how blessed I am. Gee, if we
didn't have a chronic illness, just think how boring life could be!!! LOL

((Hugs))