Author Topic: Wiped out...  (Read 10677 times)

quietdynamics

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Re: Wiped out...
« Reply #15 on: July 23, 2012, 03:36:48 PM »
I spent most of my younger years with my wonderful loving aunt and with my "little" english grandmother. My aunt in the country with flowers and 5 children, wonderful scents of homemade foods and family gatherings. Until, I moved away I always planted flowers for my aunt on Mothers Day. My grandmother in NYC on the 17th floor, we could see the Hudson River and at night the George Washington Bridge looked like a diamond necklace stretched across the black velvet night.  I sat at her feet as she sewed on the old singer playing in her button box. Her left ring finger was missing to the second joint... where it was caught when as a teenager she sewed uniforms for the soldiers in WWI in England.  My best b'day present was always a homemade tin of my grandmothers brownies and the safest places was in her arms.

I want my Mom to know she is not alone and have some joy. I do not want her to have fear of Drs. She was with her parents when they passed, both of cancer, much younger than she. And she did feel guilty that she did not bring her husband home...it was fast. But, he was 92. But, it started after he had heart surgery....then 20+ years later of not going to family affairs.
 Love?  Maybe we will get there...my mother spent her life pushing people away...Think of the TV character "Maude" she actually was followed in stores because people thought she was Bea Arthur. T  At this point I suppose it is more...

When I stayed over I hid my meds, I never told her what was really happening until about a year ago...lol

Funny the twists in life.
Single Mom of two, met a wonderful man, even talked him into getting a motorcycle so we can go adventure. One year later falling over with fatigue and vertigo,barely walking. Inside a hamster cage. But, unlike my Mom...I encourage my honey to join a motorcycle group. When we move I picked an area that has golf so he can make golf buds....No point in having it consume more than me.

Goal...vertigo is gone...get on that motorcycle !!! Bought a leather vest ....maybe just a push up bra underneath??? :o
And a trip up to Woodstock, NY Family is visiting from Hungary.

Sjogrens ANA 1:640; SS-A/B+; Fibro; IBS; Neuro symptoms,Thyroid Anti-bodies; Ocular Rosacea, Livedo reticularis,

"You can't have a positive life with a  negative mind"

iraisin

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Re: Wiped out...
« Reply #16 on: July 23, 2012, 04:44:41 PM »
get that bra and ride girlfriend!!!

I didn't grow up with a "loving" mother. She's in a nursing home now. She had 12 children, none of us are able to care for her like she needs. She has diabetes and is blind and crippled. She's mellowed now that life has humbled her quite a bit, and it is easier to visit on the phone w/her now.

I'm glad you're "getting" there with her.

I wonder what kind of old lady I'm going to be. My son tells me I'll be sweet, but if my bones keep creakin' and achin', I'm afraid I might turn him into a liar.  ;)

I do hope you enjoy your family reuniun. It really does sound like a nice trip.

quietdynamics

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Re: Wiped out...
« Reply #17 on: July 23, 2012, 05:33:26 PM »
iraisin....I better make sure that push up is steel reinforced....one good pot hole and I may get knocked out!!!

Woodstock excursion is Hubbys' sister, she is a pip. She was doing something like Aura reading with therapists in schools in Hungary. They give Vit b-12 shot in the fall to school kids.
She "read" me and said I would be fine? LOL...I bought her a silk boho wrap dress that can be a skirt too. Should be fun. She talks to spirits who have passed....Think you should have done that here. I think she is into parallel universes now...Ever read about Einstein, the Man???  Einstein states 11 dimensions, some theorists had speculated schizophrenia see more than we do??? 

Husbands brother fell off a balcony in his mid 30's paralyzed from the waist down...numerous surgeries, serious ongoing infections, grafts...lost his family, job...I have no complaints. Hope to get him out for a wheel around the town or over to Kingston. Last two years I wasn't able to drive... definitely looking forward to seeing everyone. Maybe I can pry my Mom out for a ride...we will see.
Sjogrens ANA 1:640; SS-A/B+; Fibro; IBS; Neuro symptoms,Thyroid Anti-bodies; Ocular Rosacea, Livedo reticularis,

"You can't have a positive life with a  negative mind"

iraisin

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Re: Wiped out...
« Reply #18 on: July 23, 2012, 07:18:00 PM »
HA!  Steel reinforced...funny. Is that for the top (cage) or the bottom?

I hate to hear all of the troubles, it seems everyone has something, beit health, family, past...

I hope you do get him on the bike for a whirl.

Maybe have her check his aura first, make sure it'll be okay. ;)

Have a great time and enjoy yourself, and everyone else.

quietdynamics

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Re: Wiped out...
« Reply #19 on: July 26, 2012, 07:11:22 PM »
Moms' appt with the Gastro Dr. re: Gallstones ended with an unwelcome addition:
Highly suspect Aortic Aneurysm.I picked up script for test scheduled on Monday.

She is not eating well at all. I have her filling in a food diary and eating small meals that are higher in calories. She is really weak. But, we have been having breakfast on the deck in the early AM.  Just mid May she was fine and had made a dinner for company!!! Now she could barely stand last night...

I had to come home tonight because of an appt I have been waiting for 2 months and which I offered to give to my Mom...for a new Dr. to see her. My son is near Mom and called her after work and will go there tomorrow.

I woke at 7:30 with a headache let Max out and then after Mom had breakfast and Vits/med. I crashed until 11:30....groan. Took my 2nd daily Cymbalta early so I could drive home @ 2:00.  Really hoping the Wellbutrin kicks in for Mom soon...she is soo  discouraged.

I know she was not aware of how tired I actually get. I tell her so what?? We do what we need to do and then in the heat of the day we take a nap.
Sjogrens ANA 1:640; SS-A/B+; Fibro; IBS; Neuro symptoms,Thyroid Anti-bodies; Ocular Rosacea, Livedo reticularis,

"You can't have a positive life with a  negative mind"

iraisin

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Re: Wiped out...
« Reply #20 on: July 27, 2012, 05:33:05 AM »
As heartwrenching as the diagnosis is, you caught it and they are going to work on it.

I have had a lot of family members (uncles, aunts, grandparents) that didn't catch it and fell victim. Please do not let her exert herself in anyway. My uncle passed when getting up from a chair with one he had in his brain.

A woman at work passed while going poop in the bathroom from one as well.

Think about all the daily things that may cause even a slight increase in strain and mitigate it until she can have her surgery. Have her diet consist of foods that will be easily passed, make sure she has help getting up and down, advise her to take her time with everything she does, especially from going from a rest position (like getting up from a nap) to motion.

If she's weak, this may be a good thing as she won't try anything strenuous, but she will still need to be watched with great care.

I will keep her and you in my heart and prayers.

Sweet love heading y'alls way.

Please keep us posted.

sass

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Re: Wiped out...
« Reply #21 on: July 27, 2012, 08:06:48 AM »
Quiet
Hopefully, things improve for you and your Mom quickly.  I worry more about you though. You really do need a little fun!  Easy for me to say, but the truth.  Find that upperwire, lower wire, bra, ace bandage them suckers or whatever it takes and hop on the back of that Bike and ride like the wind...

Sometimes you have to go against the grain of what is expected of you and need.  And you my friend, need some R&R!  I know how hard that is,  I have my Dad living with us 24-7.   But I will go to my room and shut the door to have some me time.  Earlier in my life I would have never considered having "ME" Time, but I realized how healthy it is for me to find time for it.

My mother and I did not have a good relationship , nor my sister.  My mom mellowed with age and she died before we were able to complete going full circle.  But I know we would have and that is enough for me.  She was fairly abusive and very demanding.  She and my sister are the same people I think often...But when she died, we already had got close.  And I would love to have her back now.   Hang in there and let us know,    ~sass~

quietdynamics

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Re: Wiped out...
« Reply #22 on: July 30, 2012, 05:05:52 AM »
Leaving soon to drive down to take Mom for Ultra Sound to check out Aortic  Aneurysm.  Tomorrow is Moms Birthday 82....Yeah. Brother never called. Maybe tomorrow?
Give a prayer it is small and manageable. Mom has been eating a bit. So that is better and she sounds better.

I can feel my stomach cramping already....well, then just breathe and dicyclimine (sp?)

Gotta get going...best to all talk to you in a few days.... :)
Sjogrens ANA 1:640; SS-A/B+; Fibro; IBS; Neuro symptoms,Thyroid Anti-bodies; Ocular Rosacea, Livedo reticularis,

"You can't have a positive life with a  negative mind"

Katybarstool

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Re: Wiped out...
« Reply #23 on: July 31, 2012, 01:39:48 PM »
QD,

Prayers for you and your mum. Please let us know how she is getting on.

Kathyx

quietdynamics

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Re: Wiped out...
« Reply #24 on: August 24, 2012, 06:12:11 PM »
August 24th...and my mother is worse physically and mentally now.  She was bounced around so much I had to get an appt book to record it all!!!! And finally INSIST she be admitted into a the hospital, she got to the point where she could barely stand on her own and was only eating 4-500 calories/day. Her regular Dr. was on vac..so the covering Dr. upon seeing her immediately sent her to the ER.

Her simple gall stone issue was now complicated with an infection as well ( this while being tested for aneurism, an endoscopy, and being scheduled for a colonoscopy? gee....the specialist didn't notice she was no longer walking ...but scuffling, unsteading and mentally confused????? He thought she could tolerate a colon cleanse???? )

IV, Blood cultures, IV antibiotics ----> remove gallbladder ---> stable-----> rehab ----> OMG....left laying there not eating or drinking UTI, fell out of wheel chair (left alone) hallucinating for 5 days. We were told in the elderly that was normal by the nurse! Sat call Dr. "I want Mom in HOSPITAL!!!!" He says we can do test from rehab. ME: HOSPITAL NOW!!!!  At hospital get rid of Dr,she has had for years  and get back the covering Dr. who found infection..... poor MOM 250 ml/hr IV for dehydration and antibiotic....call in neuro ----> MRI , no stoke. Calcium high, but not parathyroid. Stabilized ----> new rehab as of yesterday.   Admittance: they went over every inch of her body and noted redness on tush from laying in bed and that she would need to be turned, mental acuity test...very thorough.
She showered today, dressed all with assistance, and ate some. I was able to have Max , her Labrador visit, her eyes are glassy and she hallucinates. Neuro still testing. Maybe, endo next.

A few times we thought she was dying. If so it will be at home.
 Mom now thinks she is in an insane asylum, for some reason she thinks a baby died today and she asks about people who have passed, her sister, aunt...and that is common for end of life elderly. I wish I knew what to do. She was exhausted by 4 today and I put her to bed. They moved her near the nurse station because she threatened to throw the phone out the window last night and yesterday she was nasty and almost growling at me to leave her alone.
I remember my stepfather got nasty, totally out of character for either of my parents just before he passed.

My Dr scripted Clonazepam low dose...good grief another drug. I'm taking Max for some walks in the early AM, the homes here have beautiful landscaping and there is a cul-de-sac, just went into the kitchen and lost control of my BM ( I haven't been eating right, my fault...just yogurt and fruit.) Stress headaches...I need to pray out loud instead of internalizing, write it down and turn it over.

It was the 1st rehab that has me so upset. I will file a complaint when the waters calm. Interestingly, the Dr. on call at the ER has "pull"  he was shocked at Mom's condition, had just signed on with the rehab and know the new director...so he was going to personally speak to him.  He must have been touched by what he saw because he went on round with my Moms new DR, of record the next morning.

Dr. is considering a spinal tap on Mom. But...when is enough ...enough?  She was sooo healthy just 2 months ago, she tired me out shopping for a new umbrella for the patio table.

A heartfelt thank you to everyone .....your posts have taught me how to advocate for my Mom, and myself.
Sjogrens ANA 1:640; SS-A/B+; Fibro; IBS; Neuro symptoms,Thyroid Anti-bodies; Ocular Rosacea, Livedo reticularis,

"You can't have a positive life with a  negative mind"

iraisin

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Re: Wiped out...
« Reply #25 on: August 24, 2012, 07:03:23 PM »
My heart is breaking. I know yours is too. I am so sorry for all that you are going through.

You're a really good daughter. God bless you.

slccom

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Re: Wiped out...
« Reply #26 on: August 24, 2012, 07:23:07 PM »
If she is shuffling when she walks, have them check out normal pressure hydrocephalus. Put in a  shunt, and  they should fix it, if that is what it is.

Hugs, Sharon


irish

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Re: Wiped out...
« Reply #27 on: August 24, 2012, 10:05:57 PM »
I am sorry to hear what a go-rou9nd you have had with your Mom. This is the way it is though when our folks get old. It is so hard to get their physical ailments taken care of.

Be aware that many drugs can cause hallucinations in the elderly. If she has had surgery and taken some drugs that she ordinarily doesn't take this can set off a host of cognitive issues. I worked geriatrics as a charge RN for 25 years and the elderly (now that I am one!!) just can't take the meds.

My dad ended up having hernia surgery when he was 78 and the Demerol caused a terrible confusion for him. Also, the anesthesia used can make people confused. One an older person gets the hallucinations, etc., it can take a long time to recover. Has your Mom had a psych consult. Sometimes it helps to give them low doses of the antipsychotic meds to help decrease the hallucinations. Play it slow and easy is all I can advise. Sometimes doing nothing is the best thing you can do for them. I'll be thinking of you. Irish

susanep

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Re: Wiped out...
« Reply #28 on: August 24, 2012, 10:54:59 PM »
I am also thinking of you. I was thinking of my mom reading this.

 Before my mom passed in March of this year, I was down there one day, and she wasn't feeling well, and dad said she had a bad night, and mom ask if I still lived over there. I said, where mom, she pointed somewhere, and it caught me off guard. I said, mom you know where I live.

Bless her heart. It was the first time she didn't know something for a bit when I was talking to her. It was me though that had  the hardest time with that. Dad just stayed quiet.

I guess she had already had a mini stroke, but for the most part seemed no different to me. She was falling more, and dad stayed inside much more to be there. He is an outside person. She was almost 77 when she passed.

I hated having sjogren's and then finding out lupus with mom so sick, and I knew she was getting weaker, but a part of me was in denial.

I would talk  to my dear husband a lot about when his parents passed, and told him I didn't know how I would face it with mine.

Now I do all I can with and for my dad to the point I have had to stop myself awhile and relax. Right now I am so sick that isn't a problem. lol..

I call dad, and when he hears how I sound right now, he doesn't really want me there either, but he always wants to know how I am, and gives me some sweet fatherly advice.

Funny how when our parent/parents aren't here we just wish we could hear all that advice we once complained about. hehe....yet that is human nature I am sure for most generations.

susanep :)



Sjogren's, Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Hypothyroid, Fibro, Sleep Apnea, Diabetes 2, Asthma, and Gerd.  (Meds I take) Omeprazole, Pilocarpine, Levothyroxine, Effexor, Cpap, Aspirin, Mobic, Prilosec,, Xanax, Restasis, Systane,Vitamin D3, Plaquenil, Gabapentin, Provigil , Advair, Nasonex, and Proventi

ktfabian

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Re: Wiped out...
« Reply #29 on: August 24, 2012, 11:18:09 PM »
I'm so very sorry for what you and your Mom are going through.

It might be good for them to check her hydration and whether she's getting enough food. I know that sounds too simple. But my husband's great-aunt went through something very similar to what it sounds like your Mother is experiencing. She'd lost her last sister, there had been 12 of them when they were younger, and she stopped eating, or ate only a little bit. She finally landed in the hospital after falling. She became very confused, speaking to people long dead and of events that none of use were familiar with. We really thought that we were going to lose her.

Somehow, they finally figured out that her extended lack of meaningful caloric intake and severe dehydration had thrown her body and mind into this disconnect. I'm not sure if they put a temporary feeding tube in or not, as this happened 10-12 years ago. But they finally got her back on track with food...I know she drank supplements like Ensure or perhaps something prescription. Another cousin came and stayed the summer with her until she was finally back on her feet.

I don't know if any of this can help your Mom, but what your describing sounds so much like what Aunt Olga went through. We really thought we were going to lose her, and it took them so long to figure out something that seems like it shouldn't be that hard.

You and your Mom will be in my thoughts. As hard as it is, please remember to take extra good care of yourself. You won't be any good to either yourself or your Mom if you end up getting knocked down completely with all that's going on.

Take care,
Tracy
« Last Edit: August 24, 2012, 11:52:41 PM by ktfabian »
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55yo Sjogren's, Fibro, Selective IgM Def., back pain - fused L3/4-L5/S1,  Costochondritis, Achilles tendon tear,  cluster headaches
Plaq, Medrol, Vit D, Arava, Rituxan, Mobic, Evoxac, Tumeric 1000mg daily, Cymbalta, Fiorcet, Klonopin, Soma, pain med.