So., here I am again. I have been awake about an hour, trying to fall back to sleep. But I did get some good rest. I slept well in those 3 hours.
I awoke with my chest tight, heavy and a slight smothering feeling. Nothing too bad, but enough to make me just slightly nervous. Once I sat up, it got some better, so I relaxed and I decided to sign on.
With those thoughts in mind, it has provoked another. I am very apprehensive about leaving the Houston area. I am nervous about returning home at this time.
We live in a very rural area. Our home is isolated at the end of a dead end dirt road, with us being the only inhabitants on it.
Ambulances do come out there, but would only take me to the little county hospital and they would not know how to treat this. Life flight would only take me somewhere if I have an immediate life threat. And they have to be called in as well.
Both doctors barely mentioned it and that caught my attention, for I had already had that thought growing.
But it was just now, with waking like I did, that I felt some misgivings. Hubby wants to--has to--return to the woods. He was not opposed to staying this second night, but wanted to return home yesterday. I could see his disappointment, but I could not make the trip.
And, I felt the need to stay here. One, I know what heavy changes I am feeling. Two, as alarmed as the doctors are, they ARE looking at films from APRIL. It is mid June. I know there will be changes on this new CT. I wanted to hang around,in case they happened to get it in early. But now with it being Saturday, I know it will be Monday anyway, before they return to see it.
The Rheumy spoke of getting me on meds immed. This is Urgent, in fact an Emergency. I don't want you to wait. You need to get help now. He wanted to talk to the Pulmonary. And they did, with the decision to wait until after the biopsy to make any changes. If they mask what is going on with some meds, then the biopsy will be compromised.
So, I am like , let's do it, but alas, again waiting on the CT Scan to get back from Radiology. FLUFF!. That CT was ready to read before I got out the door. Now the report, maybe not. But they do not read them in detail anyway. They go by WHAT THEY SEE. I know, he said, he has to have it to guide the biopsy.
So, me being DR.Sass, and knowing enough to be truly dangerous, is knowing there has to be a reason of not going straight into it, but being wise enough to know, it can be done immediately in Houston. There is no night and day. But my Pulmonary is just one person as well. Then the Evil part of Dr Sass, wonders, hmmmm, out of town trip, golf match, guest from out of town coming in. Concert tickets. Visitation with the kiddos.
oh pooh, the rantings of a mad woman! I can't have my pain management shot in the spine. It is considered a surgery, and I can't take that risk, so here I lay, sit, lean, sit, lay, stand, sit with this other pain in my back and legs and try to push it aside. Nope, can't take Ibuprofen (Barrett's)..can't take aspirin ( Possible Surgery), Vicodin...trying not to go down that path, and when i relax to deeply, my 02 levels really drop, setting off the alarm on my oxygen. So I am laughing out loud at the at the whole thing.
We have a saying in our family, in fact two that is a sarcastic response to many of a frustrating situation....IT JUST DON'T GET NO BETTER,,,,,,,,and I WOULD'NT HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY!!!!!!!!!!
HOTEL ROOM 165 FIRST NIGHT, ONLY HAD A SUITE FOR SECOND NIGHT LEFT, 185. THAT IS MEDICAL RATE, with all taxes and parking fees. I can't afford to stay! still waiting on short term disability from work and approval on my 2nd hospital confinement, then my critical care package to kick in. This is supposed to help with lodging, gas, food.. Of course I am now having to pay for the full premium on my insurance and on this supplemental health package. At $600.00 a month, me little disability ck will all go there, if I have enough. but will still help for sure.
The guy at the Social Security office said I do not qualify for SSI (what is that), but suggested some other programs. I need help!!!!
My children would gladly, but are so tied down. Daughter with 8 yr old and newborn, husband works 7 on 7 off. She has no time as it is now.
Son, with both he and his wife with new jobs, new city, 125 miles away, the twins, one ear infection, and Callie going to heart doctor this next week after, signing on there new house on the 22nd. 2 weeks to move out and in, well I should be helping them.
Nope, husband not capable. Remember he is disabled in both hands and in a great deal of pain himself. Plus 85 yr old father at home alone right now....not good
I do not tell you this for sympathy, just pouring my heart out. so enough.. God will provide. ~sass~
