Author Topic: A trip to Virginia  (Read 3464 times)

A66eyroad

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A trip to Virginia
« on: February 13, 2012, 08:05:10 AM »
First let me say that I hit the jackpot in the M-I-L lottery. She is super sweet and wonderful, kind, thoughtful, warm and caring.

She's also getting up there in years -- 93 this past January.

She lives with my husband's brother and wife who are also terrific. They take really good care of her and are always welcoming when we visit.

Next weekend the brother & wife will be taking a couple of days "off" and we've volunteered to stay with M-I-L. I love spending time with her, she's such a lovely woman.

I'm looking forward to it mostly. It's a four-hour drive which generally wears me out to start with. While I'm there I'll have to help her get her shower each day and help her dress, and just generally be available to her when she needs me.

My fear, though, is that in my effort to always put on my most brave face and pretend in front of people that there's nothing wrong with me, I'll overdo it and end up being really sick in front of her.

How sad that, at age 57, I'm worried that I won't be able to keep up with a 93-year-old!

Any words of wisdom?
Female, 61
Sjogrens, UCTD, and subacute cutaneous lupus. Flu-like symptoms, mouth & nasal ulcers, itchy rash, high cholesterol, headache, earache, tinnitis, dizziness. Hangover-like nausea, especially in the a.m.
Plaquenil, Atabrine, DHEA, Aleve, Evoxac, Allegra/Benedryl, esomeprazole.

Joe S.

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Re: A trip to Virginia
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2012, 10:06:58 AM »
Just be there. That is what is important. Schedule your pain pills for a regular dose to keep it under control while you use your spoons.
bkn C4 & C5, herniation's 7 n, 5 t, 4 l, Nerve Damage
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A66eyroad

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Re: A trip to Virginia
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2012, 10:29:19 AM »
Thanks, Joe, good advice! 

It's funny --- scheduling my pain meds seems like basic common sense, but I didn't even think of it. Why is it that we can take good care of others, but when it's time to take care of ourselves we fall short?

Thanks for the great suggestion.
Female, 61
Sjogrens, UCTD, and subacute cutaneous lupus. Flu-like symptoms, mouth & nasal ulcers, itchy rash, high cholesterol, headache, earache, tinnitis, dizziness. Hangover-like nausea, especially in the a.m.
Plaquenil, Atabrine, DHEA, Aleve, Evoxac, Allegra/Benedryl, esomeprazole.

Joe S.

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Re: A trip to Virginia
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2012, 10:45:31 AM »
It is the nature / nurture of the beast. "Helping you, Helps Me". Helping your MIL will help you.
bkn C4 & C5, herniation's 7 n, 5 t, 4 l, Nerve Damage
Lisinopril, Amlodipine, Pantoprazole, Metformin, Furosemide, Glimepiride,
Centrum Silver, Cinnamon, Magnesium, Flaxseed, Inositol, D3, ALA, ALC, Aleve, cistanche
Reiki, reflexology, meditation, electro-herbalism

season

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Re: A trip to Virginia
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2012, 09:23:10 PM »
Pace yourself. Try not to be overly anxious. Rest when you need to and have fun whenever possible.

eyeamdry

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Re: A trip to Virginia
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2012, 11:12:53 PM »
Can you rest while MIL rests?  Like with a new baby, you'd better sleep when the baby does because you never know when you'll get another chance. lol  Lucy

Cheryl

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Re: A trip to Virginia
« Reply #6 on: February 15, 2012, 04:41:06 AM »
I hope your weekend is nice!  I can relate to your love/respect for your mil.  Mine is a keeper, too.  :)
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A66eyroad

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Re: A trip to Virginia
« Reply #7 on: February 15, 2012, 08:27:44 AM »
Those are great ideas! Thanks for the input and for the positive comments!

At 93 my M-I-L beats the pants off both my husband and me when we play Rummikub. She's a sharp cookie!
Female, 61
Sjogrens, UCTD, and subacute cutaneous lupus. Flu-like symptoms, mouth & nasal ulcers, itchy rash, high cholesterol, headache, earache, tinnitis, dizziness. Hangover-like nausea, especially in the a.m.
Plaquenil, Atabrine, DHEA, Aleve, Evoxac, Allegra/Benedryl, esomeprazole.

Patze

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Re: A trip to Virginia
« Reply #8 on: February 15, 2012, 08:06:20 PM »
I'm with the others, pace yourself, and don't forget to rest, rest, and rest.

Have fun with your mother-in-law!  She sounds so neat!


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A66eyroad

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Re: A trip to Virginia
« Reply #9 on: February 29, 2012, 07:28:24 AM »
Everyone's advice helped me so much! Even though my M-I-L beat me soundly at Rummikub, I enjoyed every minute of my time with her. Lucky for us both, she takes a two-hour nap each day at 2 o'clock, and goes to bed at 9 so our schedules meshed nicely.

I just wanted to take a little time to thank everyone for your suggestions and warm wishes. It was a wonderful four days!

Love,
Abbey
Female, 61
Sjogrens, UCTD, and subacute cutaneous lupus. Flu-like symptoms, mouth & nasal ulcers, itchy rash, high cholesterol, headache, earache, tinnitis, dizziness. Hangover-like nausea, especially in the a.m.
Plaquenil, Atabrine, DHEA, Aleve, Evoxac, Allegra/Benedryl, esomeprazole.

susanep

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Re: A trip to Virginia
« Reply #10 on: February 29, 2012, 06:20:29 PM »
I enjoyed reading your post. You will be fine, because you will be happy in what you are doing. My mother-in-law has passed on, but she was also like that. I really enjoyed just being around her.

susanep :)
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Meld256

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Re: A trip to Virginia
« Reply #11 on: February 29, 2012, 09:56:28 PM »
Hi A66ey,

I'm really late here, but I'm so glad you enjoyed your time with your MIL.  Isn't it nice that your rest schedules matched up well?

I also have a great mother-in-law and a good relationship with her. It's one of life's pleasures to enjoy the family you're given.  ;)

Melinda