Author Topic: Can I vent about my successful sister, family today?  (Read 6402 times)

12lovehim

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Re: Can I vent about my successful sister, family today?
« Reply #15 on: August 16, 2011, 05:45:26 PM »
Hello All...
     I took a big leap today and showed my husband this Wonder World...  And this thread.. Because he asked me.. "Whats' changed in you"..  I told him I could tell him.. but if he opened his heart.. I would show him and that He could really see what I go through, and how I am not alone.. I hope that has not offended anyone..

   You should have seen the tears in his eyes.. It opened the doors for a long overdue conversation between the two of us.. But he also said.. " I had no idea that so many were suffering too.. and I can't believe they all said so many of the things you have been trying to tell me".. It was a true Ah Ha moment for him..

I do love my hubby so much, as I know that he loves me.. This has really been the first time in many years of marriage that I needed him to take care of me. Now he really understands so much.. and as far as this thread and the many beautiful people here.. My husband said he will never question me again on why I come here, and why I like it so much..

It was never my first intention to see it developed the way it did.. but what amazing woman you all are! To take a moment out of your day and encourage each other so well.. I dare say if the Church had this much compassion.. (well we all wouldn't really be here now right..  :P  ) 

I look forward to acts of Love and compassion towards you all as our good and bad days come.. Just know you have made a friend here this last week!

Love and Dearest Blessings of Health and Joy... 12lovehim or Just Keri

Meld256

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Re: Can I vent about my successful sister, family today?
« Reply #16 on: August 16, 2011, 07:28:11 PM »
12lovehim,

I think it's wonderful you showed our little world and this thread to your husband!   :D I feel no offense; I feel joy for you!!
Sometimes it takes that sort of thing to start a good conversation with our spouses. I believe most really try to understand, but as we know, it's so hard even for US to understand, so we can try to see how it is for others.  I'd say my husband and I went through about a year of heart-felt talks about all this til he could really see what I and others go through, and how my illness affects him, too.  I am so happy for you sharing this with your husband.

As said before, when we help one another, it helps us all. Not to bring religion into this too much, but on a personal note, I believe God brings people into our lives when we most need them, at just the right time.  I feel that this site is another way we can show his love.
So happy for you...and yes, I'm honored that you're a friend.  ;)

Wishing you many new blessings,
Melinda

A66eyroad

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Re: Can I vent about my successful sister, family today?
« Reply #17 on: August 17, 2011, 06:49:03 AM »
How wonderful that we were able to help you - and we didn't even know it!   :D  Angels unaware, no?

I've shared a few things from this site with my husband, also. He was especially helped by the "Spoon Theory" link  http://butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf and even asks me sometimes whether I've got enough spoons left to do this or that.

12love, my friend, please allow me to do whatever I can whenever I can to make your life easier! I'm pleased to be able to be there for you -- even when I'm far away!
Female, 61
Sjogrens, UCTD, and subacute cutaneous lupus. Flu-like symptoms, mouth & nasal ulcers, itchy rash, high cholesterol, headache, earache, tinnitis, dizziness. Hangover-like nausea, especially in the a.m.
Plaquenil, Atabrine, DHEA, Aleve, Evoxac, Allegra/Benedryl, esomeprazole.

Carolina

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Re: Can I vent about my successful sister, family today?
« Reply #18 on: August 17, 2011, 08:18:43 AM »
Oh Dear 12lovehim,

I think love and understanding are needed here...................

And maybe not so much judging?

That and we never see the INSIDE of anyone's life, you know?

It is so easy to be on the team when everyone is strong and winning, isn't it?

I've decided to let other people spend some time loving and understanding me.

And putting up with me!   

I am 'an opportunity' for others to learn to express and learn tolerance and love, no?   Life wouldn't be life if everone were perfect (and no one IS perfect of course).

 :D

Ease up and yourself and everyone else.    It's hard work learning to let go of being strong and in charge, for everyone.

Hugs

Elaine

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CAT1962

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Re: Can I vent about my successful sister, family today?
« Reply #19 on: August 20, 2011, 07:50:43 AM »
Keri, I'm so sorry.  :'( I am the oldest of 5 siblings and my sister just under me used to be very close. She is now a runner and rows for hobbies, has money (her hubby is a Dr, etc). She never calls me anymore because she says, " i just don't want to hear anything that isn't happy". (I don't even DISCUSS the Sjs with her.) I now call Sjogren's "this stuff" in front of all of my family because frankly no one cares.

Keri, I care about you. You can MY sis...:'-)

CAT

Meld256

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Re: Can I vent about my successful sister, family today?
« Reply #20 on: August 22, 2011, 01:41:16 PM »
12lovehim,

I hope this week is going a little better!  :D

Danielle28

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Re: Can I vent about my successful sister, family today?
« Reply #21 on: August 23, 2011, 08:41:43 AM »
Keri,
I really understand, I've always been the one that stepped up and found a way to help. When my grandmother got sick, I went and was with her in the hospital every day and overnight even, to make sure she was never alone, I held her hand until she took her last breath. I wanted her to be at peace each time she opened her eyes.   Right after she passed, my other grandmother was having some rib pain. I encouraged her to go to the doctor, they sent her for a biopsy, I took her-  I held her hand when they told her she had stage IV lung cancer, I was there through chemo, and at the hospital, fought to bring her home with hospice, and bathed her, medicated her, and held her hand... stayed up with her all night as she was passing.  I was at her side.  I've always tried to be a giver- I've always tried to do what I would hope someone else would do for me.  I am constantly advocating for my 8 year old son with bipolar disorder, because so many people don't believe it exists-  but if they lived in our home, they would see it and understand. I guess that's kind of how it is now.  People kind of dismiss it. If I said "I have cancer" or "I broke my leg" they'd be inclined to help... but you can't see my sickness, unless you see me regularly and see me when my color drains from my face and a purple rash pops up under my skin, but it doesn't happen all the time.  My family doesn't really check in with me...  I have one friend who does, and my cousin does, because she has fibro and microfacial disorder so she can relate to pain that people can't see.  I like being the person who helps others. I want to do so much more.  I haven't even got to meet my new niece because I can't travel that far right now.  I hope somehow your family can come to understand. I guess I'm just trying to say I do- this group is so great because each of us kind of ends up in our own bubbles...  my world has become a little bigger :)