Author Topic: The darkest days and does that mean a huge flare up  (Read 10681 times)

Bopeep

  • Guest
The darkest days and does that mean a huge flare up
« on: February 09, 2011, 07:36:13 AM »
hi everyone. I just wanted to tell you all that my wonderful supportive husband died suddenly on Friday night suddenly.

I am just beside myself, I cant think straight. Its like a huge hole inside where my hear used to be.

We own a small farm 60 acres and run 250  sheep on it. So I just cant hide away in a corner.

Please can anyone tell me how to ward off a huge flare up.

Oh god what will I do without my big gental compassionate teddy bear.

Joe S.

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7701
  • Fibro, Sjs, RA, CNS, Diabetes, TIA's, ADHD, ptsd
    • Chakra Force
Re: The darkest days and does that mean a huge flare up
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2011, 07:51:51 AM »
Oh, I am so sorry for you. When mom died, I had an RA flair. I tried to find some quiet time for pray and meditation. Calling the relatives was hard. I went through her email contacts and phone contacts. She prepared me for what had to be done, and told me where things were. Take time for yourself. About 6 to 8 months after everything was done I had my flair - RA, Fibro, and Sjs. I allowed myself one week of depression but it lasted a little longer.
bkn C4 & C5, herniation's 7 n, 5 t, 4 l, Nerve Damage
Lisinopril, Amlodipine, Pantoprazole, Metformin, Furosemide, Glimepiride,
Centrum Silver, Cinnamon, Magnesium, Flaxseed, Inositol, D3, ALA, ALC, Aleve, cistanche
Reiki, reflexology, meditation, electro-herbalism

Bopeep

  • Guest
Re: The darkest days and does that mean a huge flare up
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2011, 08:00:11 AM »
Thanks for that Joe. I do meditate, down by the river that runs through our property. I cant get to grips that hes gone he was only 57 years old.
They couldnt find what was wqrong until after he died. Whats the odds that he had a disease rarer than Sjogrens. He was diagnosed with Amaloidosis. I HAVE to ward off a flare up, I have so many lives, as in stock to have to care about. I dont know if I can feel this horrid hurt for 6 to 8 months, its been only days and it feel so black.
I know theres nothing anyone can do to make the pain go away, but telling my extended family and friends  ( all you guys ) just seems to help somehow.

COLLYGIRL

  • Guest
Re: The darkest days and does that mean a huge flare up
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2011, 08:13:38 AM »
I am so sorry for your loss.  I will pray for you and your family during this difficult time.

warmwaters

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1872
  • Just keep swimming - Dora
Re: The darkest days and does that mean a huge flare up
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2011, 08:29:15 AM »
Oh BoPeep, I am so sorry. What a difficult thing to deal with. You will be in our thoughts.

On a practical level, are there people who can help you with all of this? Folks to help with the farm (ranch? I'm not sure of terms), and  to help with all the logistics of dealing with a loss such as yours.  If there are, reach out now and ask for help. And if there are people who you find comforting, a sister, a friend, a son or daughter, see if they can be with you now.  It's ok to lean on someone if you can. My daughter always makes me feel better, even when I feel physically horrible.

Taking care of your self will mean using what you can to try to preserve your energy and your health. Doesn't guarantee holding off a flare, but may it will help some.

Let us know how you are doing... You know there's always a friendly ear here.
Primary Sjogrens, dx June 2009, Immunoglobulin deficiency, axial spondylosis arthritis, IBS, autonomic neuropathy
Omeprazone DR 40 mg, mobic 15 mg, Plaquenil, LDN, B1, B6, B12, D, fludrocortisone, gralise, various inhalers

Joe S.

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7701
  • Fibro, Sjs, RA, CNS, Diabetes, TIA's, ADHD, ptsd
    • Chakra Force
Re: The darkest days and does that mean a huge flare up
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2011, 08:30:26 AM »
Do you have any neighbors that can help with the farm work while you are going through this? I know my uncle helped other and my farmer friends do also.
bkn C4 & C5, herniation's 7 n, 5 t, 4 l, Nerve Damage
Lisinopril, Amlodipine, Pantoprazole, Metformin, Furosemide, Glimepiride,
Centrum Silver, Cinnamon, Magnesium, Flaxseed, Inositol, D3, ALA, ALC, Aleve, cistanche
Reiki, reflexology, meditation, electro-herbalism

Liz D.

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 830
Re: The darkest days and does that mean a huge flare up
« Reply #6 on: February 09, 2011, 08:33:47 AM »
Oh, Bopeep,  I am so sorry.  My heart goes out to you.  Can't even imagine what you must be going through.  Like everyone has said, see if there are family and friends that can help with the farm.  Explain that this extreme situation will effect adversely your already bad health and that you really need their support.

But be sure to take time for yourself and not to push the grieving process.  Everyone is different and it takes different times for people.  Just do what you have to, not what you expect you should do!

Liz D.
57 year old female
Sjogrens Syndrome (diagnosed 2004), Hypothryoidism, Asthma, Osteoporosis
Meds:  Plaquenil 200 mg; Levoxyl 100mcg; Evoxac, Flovent, Flonase, Protonix 40 mg.,  Prozac 40 mg. Naproxen 500 mg., Hormone Replacement Therapy, vitamins, calcium, flaxseed, biotin

ohiolady

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2212
Re: The darkest days and does that mean a huge flare up
« Reply #7 on: February 09, 2011, 09:03:08 AM »
Bopeep,

There are no words to say how truly sorry I am for you and the loss of your beloved husband.  What a shock at only 57 years old.  I can only imagine how you must feel.  Grieving is hard work and takes time and you cannot rush yourself through it.  Allow yourself to grieve this awful loss.  It is my prayer for you that a large number of friends and family will surround you during this time with love and support.

Anna
SJS  Hashimoto's   Mild Raynauds  GERD  Gastroparesis
Restasis, Evoxac, Dexilant,  Domperidone, Zofran and Synthroid. Fish Oil, Vit D and B12  R lipoic acid,  Acetyl L Cartnine, Vitamin B1, and The Perfect Food Green and Fruit supplement

Kidney Cancer Survivor   
Female   Age: 62

Crymeariver

  • Guest
Re: The darkest days and does that mean a huge flare up
« Reply #8 on: February 09, 2011, 09:22:31 AM »
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  When you can take a moment for yourself, you might read or listen to the book "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion about the year after her husband died unexpectedly.  I thought it was a very well written and lovely book. 

You have my condolences.


dbab

  • Guest
Re: The darkest days and does that mean a huge flare up
« Reply #9 on: February 09, 2011, 09:57:41 AM »
I'm very sorry for your loss BoPeep.  My thoughts are with through this time. 

Diane54

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 275
Re: The darkest days and does that mean a huge flare up
« Reply #10 on: February 09, 2011, 09:59:23 AM »
I am so sorry for your loss. You have my deepest sympathies. Take one day at a time as slow as you need to!
Sjogren's diagnosed Dec 20, 2010, Hypothyroid, Diabetes 2, Autoimmune Hepatitis, Mitral Valve  Prolapse, Gerds, Antiphospholipid Syndrome,  Synthroid, Paxil, Prilosec, Evoxac, Plaquenil, Tramadol, Simvistatin, Restasis, Baby Asprin, vitamin D, Januvia, Amlodipine, Gabapentine

Smudge

  • Guest
Re: The darkest days and does that mean a huge flare up
« Reply #11 on: February 09, 2011, 10:05:52 AM »
I'm so sorry.   :'(

Nathan

  • Guest
Re: The darkest days and does that mean a huge flare up
« Reply #12 on: February 09, 2011, 10:30:58 AM »
I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

sage

  • Guest
Re: The darkest days and does that mean a huge flare up
« Reply #13 on: February 09, 2011, 10:32:13 AM »
Bopeep: Very sorry to hear of your Husband's passing - what a shock.  Please get all the help and support that you can find.  You won't necessarily have a flare but obviously you have much more to deal with than many people and need a lot of rest.  Let us know if there is anything we can do to help in any way.   Sage

Bucky

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3679
Re: The darkest days and does that mean a huge flare up
« Reply #14 on: February 09, 2011, 11:07:21 AM »
(((Bopeep))) - I am so sorry for your loss.  I'm sure you are still in shock from your husbands sudden, unexpected death.  It's going to take time for everything to sink in. 

Are there any neighbors nearby who know about sheep that can help you with the farm for now?  I know that has got to be a huge responsibility on top of everything else going on right now.

Maybe, if you don't have any neighbors who know about sheep, perhaps there is a farmers network or something there where they can give you some names of people who could step in to help you.  Here, in IL, I read quite often about farmers who get hurt or are sick and other farmers step in to plant and harvest their crops for them. 

In the past, I'm guessing you sold sheep.  Maybe, wherever it is you sell them, they could give you some names or suggestions for help on the farm.

I wish there was something we could do to help you. 

Don't forget to keep taking your medicine and to eat.  Many times when people are grieving they don't eat much - you've got to keep your strength up so you don't come down with colds, flu, etc.

Keep in contact with us . . .
Hugs,
Bucky
Come sit a spell and join in live chat - we serve non-fattening, zero calorie goodies while discussing all kinds of things.  ;D

http://www.sjogrensworld.org/chats.htm   (find our chat times here!)