2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .

[Meld256]

I like them all...we can use a good chuckle! 

Bob,
Those traveled just fine. I have an "email pen-pal" from London, and we enjoy the differences in slang from the U.S. to Britain. It took me a moment to understand what she meant one day when in a chat she said she needed to clean up a bit about the house and was "off to do the hoovering." 

[Bucky]

A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.  "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her.  Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

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From the mouth of babes . . . ya just got to love 'em!   
Bucky

[sis]

Bucky I laughed so hard at the grandma w/ the towel on her head.

Everything at my house is a running joke, usually at my expense!

I get t exhausted and say and do crazy things.

Last night my Mom was here and we cooked a big dinner.

My husband always says a blessing but he wasn't home

Momma expects a blessing so I just dove in with my worn out self.

It was short and sweet but at the end instead of saying amen I said bye

The whole table cracked up laughing.

[Bucky]

It was short and sweet but at the end instead of saying amen I said bye

The whole table cracked up laughing.

Cute one sis!   

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"I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.

I would point out something and ask what color it was.

She would tell me and was always correct.

It was fun for me, so I continued.

At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!"

 

[dainbramage]

My husband drives very fast and talks to the cars in front of him, usually cussing. One day I was driving and a car was driving slow in front of me, my daughter wanted for me to go faster and I said there was a car in front of us. She said, "That *#!@ car needs to move!" I about came out of my seat. The boys started cracking up and I could not stop laughing as I am trying to explain to her that is an adult word.
My husband got in trouble.......

[Meld256]

dainbramage,
I'll bet he did get into trouble! 

This is from our great-niece, who is 5 going on 20.  Her Mommy and Daddy have split and so Dad has custody and works 50 hrs. a week while doing a really good job with her and her little brother, who is almost 2. One day we heard Daddy, our nephew, tell her that daycare was expensive.
He joked with her and said "Abie, I don't know if I can afford it anymore. It really costs Daddy a lot. I might just need you to take care of your bubby instead."  She was dead serious and told him "Ok, Daddy, I can watch Bubby, but I need somebody to watch me while I watch him!"   

[CAT1962]

  Bob!

A beautiful young woman went to visit the doctor for a complaint. After completing disrobing per doctors request, he said, "AH!..here's the problem...you have a splinter in your finger."

[BobC50]

I went to the doctors with a jelly stuck in one ear and custard in the other. The doctor asked, 'what seems to be the problem?' I said 'you have to speak up, I'm a trifle deaf.'

[Katybarstool]

 

[dbab]

I don't have any jokes but I thought I'd share with you how my dog 'lounges' on the recliner... that's just one of the many crazy things she does

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c208/dbab75/IMAG0057.jpg

[Bucky]

dbab -  Cute . . . does your dog ever fall off the recliner? 

[dbab]

Bucky, no she stretches herself off the recliner

[Bucky]

Oxymoron's

*  Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
*  If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
*  Why do we say something in out of whack?  What is a whack?
*  Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
*  Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
*  Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
*  Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
*  Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
*  Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
*  Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?  (try saying that fast 5 times!!)   

[harrigan]

Whilst off sick, I have had a bit more time than usual to go exploring on the latop. I came across a forum with handy tips for arthritis sufferers, one of which was to collect all the laundry then throw it downstairs ahead of you.

Susie's French exchange partner is arriving tonight (bad timing as another body to look after is not really what I need at the moment!). This causes much swapping of beds and bedding. So, I gathered one huge bundle together inside a sheet, rolled it up (not particularly easy with sore hands!) and threw it down stairs....

Unfortunately, it landed on the dying poinsetta on the hall window sill, sent that crashing to the floor and smashed the pot. The bottom of the stairs was a mess of plant, soil, pottery and much dirtier laundry! It added a whole new meaning to soiled bedding! Both cats are traumatised as they wre asleep under the hall radiator. Betty, the nervous one, is now sitting on the sideboard and staring at the carpet in fear. Teddy is sitting outside in a resigned manner.

I'm trying hard to have a "you've got to laugh" attitude at the moment, but this one was not easy ... I think I will avoid any new handy hints for a while! xx Ailsa
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[Katybarstool]

Ailsa

What a bummer - and being in the dog house with the cats to boot! Hope your new guest is a good one, and that she pulles her weight.

Hugs
Kathyx