May be a personal question and somewhat explicit

[LeoLady]

Hmmm.  My husband and I will celebrate our 40th anniversary on May 1 and the fire is still burning.  That man still makes my knees weak.  No, wait - maybe that's because my knees are shot?  Probably a little of both...

Sex has always been a great part of our relationship and hopefully will continue to be for many years to come.  Oh dear, poor choice of words!!      

Blushing now.

Hugs,

LeoLady  (Melinda)

[peachpop]

Ok, I am usually a very shy type of gal who doesn't like to get involved in topics about sex BUT I feel I will be doing a deed to humanity by saying PPL PLZ, in the words of Nike, JUST DO IT!
First of all, this disease does enough damage to relationships, taking sex out of the relationship because of it only builds more resentment. Not to mention that strained relations add to the stress that fuels our fire pain.
I know it hurts but I take four ibuprofens before my husband gets home and to be honest, afterwards the pain is tremedously better. Even though I may not be in the mood per say, I hound my husband often because it helps me feel better the next day, seriously. (He doesn't realize I'm just using him!  : )

[seren]

HA HA! your all sooo funny.  Ordinarily, I would not usually discuss SEX. .. However, its such a great stress buster, pain reliever, intimacy/contact is so important in a relationship.  This thread just goes to show how HUMAN we all are... 

I am genuinely sorry for those of you who have difficulty in that area, for whatever reason! really I am..

Take Care
Paula x

[noeladevile]

Sex is something I make it a point to have at least weekly. Great stress reliever, not to mention that it eases tensions between my husband and me. We just use a ton of astroglide and it's all good. I do have to take an antibiotic afterwards to prevent UTIs. If I get to a point where I am unable to have sex w my husband, just take me in the back pasture n shoot me!

[ttdub]

Sex is natural. No reason to not talk about it. I think this thread is actually getting humorous and relieves some stress for me.

[Enjoy Your Day]

What a great conversation, I have so much respect for this site and how well mannered and helpful people are here. I just had to add a little to the soup pot.

My husband and I celebrated our ten year wedding anniversary on march 30. He is 40 and I'm , well, let's just say younger. Before the medical issues began last year we were "frequent fliers" with the progression of the physical symptoms we were not racking up "the sky miles" like we used to.  Fatigue, pain, tired, feeling like half a wife, half a mom, half of a woman isn't great for the libido and neither are the stupid meds some of us take. One day we looked at each other and said "Hi roomie." that very we took a non-stop flight reclaimed our intamacy and our relationship has been sooo much better for it.

I now know that sex is not an all or nothing deal, like being pregnant or not pregnant is an exact.  I try not to be too hard on myself if I can't complete the act.  It sure is fun trying and the endorphin release was prescribed by a doctor on his prescription pad

[kimbo]

WOW! I read this thread last nite,  it was fun , but I was too exhausted to contribute.
Took my insomniatic body to bed. Of course I had to take my sleep helper for my racing mind and fidgeting, wrestley body.

Sjog body , sex yes.
I married my lover 32 years ago coming this 4th of July. He sparked me then and he sparks me now. May be not as often.
When I am bone tired, in my not a chance body position, No way Buddy, leave me alone,. I can see his grin in the dark when he breaks thru all barriers and  he always reminds me afterwards.; that I had more fun then he. He says its not fare. 

We use to watch a sit com called ?Darmah and Greg? She was a free spirit raised hippie style and  he a Lawyer raised straight  and wealthy. They were having a truth session in an episode, taking turns being truthful to make sure their relationship was totally authentic.
Darmah-I lied about having an orgasm   / Greg-YOU faked an orgasm / Darmah- no I faked not having one. / Greg- WHY / Darmah (sheepishly) I wanted another turn.

I wrote this funny conversation on a note. Because my husband missed  this episode, he was at church. When I got to church, sitting at the front. I handed this note to my husband. We both sat and  silently laughed?? and then my husband got up to preach as always on Sunday evenings .

We have little cards at church that we can put comments on, or prayer request. My daughters and I had lots of fun placing comments on these. I once wrote on mine?..?I feel ,I need to confess, that I sleep with the Pastor?  . Later after church as I was coming down the hall I could  hear lots of laughter, as this piece of information was shared.
So much fun. Years have passed and I am not so brave anymore.
20 years at our church.  They  still keep us. A healthy relationship is a great blessing.

Sex, Love, and laughter is good for  us sjoggies.

Blessings, kimbo

[dbab]

^^^Enjoyed your post Kimbo... very cute

[Bonnie]

Just got back from vacation, and have a funny tale to tell.  We mangaged to get a little bit of US time.  I had been napping in the afternoons, and was not feeling exhausted. 

We both went for an "afternoon nap"  , when my DH realised that I was still holding the bottle of lube in my hand like a woman from a 1950's TV commercial.  When he asked me if there was a camera filming us for a TV advert, and when would I start giving the advertising spiel (sp?)  We laughed so much.

We don't manage to have sex very often because of the pain and lack of libido.  DH has also learned that when I offer sex he should take me up on it, because in 2 or 3 hours I could be asleep or throwing up or whatever else this disease throws at me.  We call them Windows of opportunity 

[Meld256]

Bonnie, that IS funny... my husband and I need to keep some humor in the bedroom, too. It helps a lot.

Kimbo, liked your post, too! Are you familiar with Anita Renfroe? She's a pastor's wife, Mom and comedianne and she is hilarious!

[dainbramage]

Our sex life is a lot better. (I have had this discussion about this earlier.) I went to a sex store and spoke to the people who run this. I told them my problem and I really need help. They know more about this than any doctor and are more open to help you and tell you what to try. (Now they know me by name. ) My husband is sooo much happier.
I found if I take a long soothing shower and lay down in bed and get comfortable, kids in bed, my husband sees me in bed he knows to take care of my needs first. (his smile gets to me  ) Sometimes if I am so exhausted he does a lot of the work, which he enjoys. To be explicit, orgasms help with our endorphines and make us feel better. It is also a sleep aid. If you can't reach that point, sometimes other aids need to be used. My husband loves his bedside table of goodies and he has been so good to me, I try to give back. We have had the most sex this year than any other year. He does not say anything about my weight and that makes me less stressed.
Doctors can only do so much, so I went to a sex store for help and I got to know these people, they let me know when something new has come in so I can try new things to help. (I used to run from this and feel so slutty, NOT ANYMORE) My advice is to speak to your significant other and keep them in the loop or you may lose them.
I used to have a lot of UTIs....drink water, pee right after and wipe front to back. Gosh what a hoot! Peeing is the biggest thing.

[Kimberley]

Wow... I just read all of these posts and I must say, "I'm bummed out". Recently (one year ago) I finally filed for a divorce that was a long time coming (no pun intended). The main reason for my divorce was my husband was confused as to whether he wanted to be a man or a woman? So sex was only a part of my 20 year sentence during the first couple of years before I found this out about him.  I sure some of you are asking "why did I stay for so long?"  I can't explain why, I just accepted it as my "fate".  Kind of like why women stay with men who beat them, I felt trapped, it was a BIG secret, I didn't want to tell anyone, and he made it sound like it was MY Fault.  So I finally grew up in my 40's and I'm looking forward to sex... I have SJS, but I still want to have a loving, receptive, productive relationship with someone down the road!  I don't want this dream squashed also

[wiccagal]

I also tend to get uti's from sex... its the lack of lubrication that can cause bacteria to be pushed up in to the cervix and cause issues where as normally it would be flushed out.  I have a stash of antibiotics that I can take before or after sex ( depending on the position will also effect if I get one or not....)  which has helped immensely!! 

[ttdub]

I am quite late getting back to everyone, and for that, I apologize. I must say that I'm so shocked as to how many replies their were. I hope this thread keeps going. I am so happy for everyone! I can't wait to feel the joys you speak of. I truly hope I get the chance. This forum has such a great community. I wasn't sure where that post was going go, but everyone handled it very maturely and spoke with great authority on the matter. I appreciate all the answers!!

[Joe S.]

Okay, "Safe Sex" should include an anti-biotic. Is that topical?