I don't care what "they" say ...

[drylady]

Hi ,

 Inga remember some people prefer the misery. They can have it if they want, it's a free country. 

[navydad]

I dont think people prefer misery,, oh I guess some do,, but when its dumped in your lap,, and you have tried everything in your power to try and get rid of it,, its easy to just give up and feel (Miserable),,
  I think some people actually get a kick out of being sick too,,

[Julie]

These forums are suppose to be a place we can count on for venting, supporting, comparing, helping, learning, and for all of us to have a place to come to for answers and some empathy to help us feel better emotionally.  Even though all of us are struggling with daily autoimmune issues, this disease affects everyone differently, so I think it's very UNFAIR for anyone to use the harsh words of telling another to adjust their attitude.  

I agree that a positive attitude helps, BUT as much as we read the words of what others are going through, we can't physically feel or truly know the pain and suffering they are experiencing.  It is VERY hard to feel upbeat when the pain is severe, the symptoms are crippling, and/ or clinical depression has taken ahold.  None of us WANTS to feel this way, and I have no doubt that each of us has tried as best we can to hang on to all the positives that we can find.  It just gets hard when there seems to be no answers..no relief.    

It's far easier for some because of their tolerance to pain, the support they have within their homes, the effectiveness of meds on their symptoms,  their monetary situation,their level of faith,  etc etc. A lot of factors play into a person's attitude and outlook on life.   Please remember that even though we all are suffering, we are all different.

I hope we can continue to be a SUPPORTIVE group.  That is the reason that we come here.  

Wishing you all well.  

Take care
Julie

[Julie]

Lizzy-

It looks like you wrote your post at the same time that I was writing mine.   And... they sound VERY similiar!  I agree with you 100% 


:-)  Julie

[aussie mum]

(((((((((Navydad))))))))))   -   (((((((((LizPetillo))))))))))

Sending gentle hugs from Australia hoping that there is someone out there will find a way to make you two feel better.

Take Care

[Seeker]

G'day all, wow this thread certainty got intense.  I would like to throw the hand of peace to you all.  If any of my comments fueled the fire.  I am truly sorry.  If it appeared that I was insensitive to any of you I will take this as a lesson and be more sensitive to others feelings.

No member of this sight should ever be afraid to make a comment because they, as one has said, might get blasted.  That's not what we are all about.  

Seeker.    

[Rob_MI]

Well as long as people are blasting...I am pretty new here.  I am having very difficult issues.  I am not angry or need an attitude adjustment.  That stuff never entered my mind UNTIL I see people here saying certain things about others.  Its getting to be an issue with me logging in here and seeing these posts by people saying essentially "GET OVER IT!".  Some people are certainly not as afflected as others are.  Maybe if you trade shoes with them you might see something.  I don't really recall reading many, if any, posts about someone SO ANGRY about SS and other AID.  The anger part is someones own opinion and a judgement they made, not the poster.  I come here looking for advice, support and understanding from others but it seems that its getting harder to come here because people calling others angry and needing attitude adjustments.  I'm afraid to post any questions or concerns anymore for fear someone will think I am complaining, angry or whatever!

[Rob_MI]

The break room?

 

[irish]

I have been on this site many years and many people have come and gone. Right now if I was new I would be looking for the exit. The amount of complaining has gotten far out of hand. I don't  know about the rest of you but I want to come here and share information about disease, treatments and what is new in the autoimmune world. Of course venting is part of the program. Check back at the many posts over the years with people venting and you will find lots of support from the other members.

What isn't as noticeable back then is the constant, unending complaining that never changes. People will try and answer to solve problems on this site or give support lately, etc, but it doesn't seem to work anymore. It is the same thing over and over. Anger will ruin this site if it is not addressed. It is not up to me to solve any problems, but I ask of all of you, including myself, to look deep within yourself and see if, perhaps, there is a better way for us all to communicate with each other and give support. Vent and complain, but after that is said and done we all have to strike a happy medium and exist in harmony in this world.

People who are chronic complainers seem to try and get something out of others only the "others" have no clue what it is that the complaining person wants. Those who  have issues  need to go for professional help because we are not a psychiatric counseling center. We are simply a group of autoimmune souls who need some human exchange in our lives that educates us, entertains us and sometimes lifts our spirits on a miserable day.

It used to be fun to come here because in spite of everyone hurting, not feeling well and not getting the answer to all their questions, we all had one thing in common -- a sense of humor and the ability to not take ourselves too seriously. The anger that emanates here lately is truly dragging all of us down. No one is going to throw any stones here but why in the world can't we have some fun while we are learning and sharing.

I am like most people and am home much of my life and enjoy the conversation with others plus the information. Lately it has become hard to understand what is transpiring. People will start a new post and someone will make a remark and many times it is just left in limbo. There is so much complaining being done that it is becoming a "dark force" on this site. No one wants to discuss things like they used to. It is beyond me folks.!!!!

After all is said and done I want people to realize that there are very few who are complaining and I would hope that all would hang around to see if we have the "caboles" ( I think I spelled it right) to get this mess cleaned up. Just remember that most people on the site are contributing enjoyable stuff.

I just hope and pray that we can get this resolved. Irish

[Carebear]

Good evening everyone,

I too am new to this Discussion Board, and I too will likely incense many of you with my reply.

It has troubled me so much lately to read all the personal attacks, harsh words and negative comments. The sarcastic, snippy remarks remind me of High School.

We are all suffering. So please treat one another with more courtesy.  

For those of you who start a posting and don't care for the replies, I can only say one thing...don't ask a question if you are not prepared to have an open, direct dialogue.

That's my opinion...I'm sure you'll "zing" me as well.

[Prairie Gal]

Irish, I think you meant "cojones." Your spelling isn't the greatest, but your meaning is clear!    

Meanwhile, folks, can't we all try to get along?  And if someone's post really bugs you,  use your browser's 'back' button.

Prairie gal

[Bobbie]

Well said Lizzy, Julie and Carebear ........  

[eyeamdry]

Happy Birthday, Marla.  Many more to you.  Have a piece of cake for me.  Lucy

[gphx]

If you can't do anything and much has been taken from you it isn't attitude, it's just your reality and what you have to deal with. If people can't be honest about what their life is like here I don't know where they can be.

Six months ago I was very much like Navydad and through some miracle have pulled back from that significantly in a positive direction. I seriously give thanks every day for the ability to use my arms and legs again and be able to sleep without twitching like a dying fish. At the time it was happening I'd tell people about it and it wasn't real to them. It was as if I were surrounded by aliens and no one cared, including my doctor. It was almost like living in a zombie movie.

Not one of them seemed the least bit concerned about their attitude.

I understand what you're saying. People often bend over backwards to help those with a positive attitude and much research shows a healthy attitude helps create a healthy immune system. I think a positive suggestion was offered, not censorship. I also feel it is healthy for some people to get what is bottled up out. They aren't crazy, the rest of the world is!

Have a great week!

[gphx]

I'd also like to suggest that the accounts of some of our really ill members can be very helpful to the new members who may say,'Hey, that's me too'. They may be the only people, not just here but anywhere, they can relate to. For some that identification and sense of belonging can be extremely important.

I'd hate to see this board go down a road of deciding what should be important to who and why.