Sjogrens World Forums

Sjogrens Topics => Living With Sjogren's => Topic started by: jordozmom on September 04, 2009, 02:34:05 PM

Title: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: jordozmom on September 04, 2009, 02:34:05 PM
I...AM...FURIOUS!!!  I went to my rheumy today and you will not believe what that man said to me.  He asked me what I expected from my appointment - that I was going to come there and there was a "magic pill" that he could give me?!  CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!  Then I got a lecture on how there is no cure for Sjogren's and that he can only treat the symptoms.  He said he was doing his part and that he sits there and listens to my [a-hem]...."issues" and then he treats the symptoms but he only has so many treatment options and that is the best that he can do.  I am furious.  I am LIVID.  I don't know what happened - if this guy was having a bad day or what - but I am just ticked off!!!!  WHAT A JERK!!!  You know, for years now I have gotten the feeling that maybe I was bothering him with my appointments - like maybe I just wasn't sick enough for him.  And before I have caught him contridicting what he has said in previous appointments but I thought "Well, maybe I misunderstood him or something."  But I've been taking Rich to my past few appointments with me and he even said the same thing - that is not what he said before.  I am half tempted to file a complaint agaist this guy!!  I am CERTAINLY not going back to him!!!!  !@#$%  Look, Buddy - like I don't have enough problems with this disease - the LAST thing I need is some spoiled doctor having a fit on me!!!  I went to him for treatment AND for compassion and understanding.  UNFORTUNATELY, these jerks stand between us and our treatment and we depend on them to help us, well guess what, they stink at it!!!!  How about you just give me your little RX pad and let me diagnose myself!!!  I get more out of the web than I get from our appointments, you BONEHEAD!!!
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: roetta on September 04, 2009, 02:54:45 PM
I think we are seeing the same doctor, well except for the fact that mine is a woman. But every time I ask her anything she either tells me it's not related to Sjogren's or that it's not her specialty. Ok, I get that it's not your specialty but you are supposed to be the one treating my Autoimmune disease, so shouldn't you maybe, oh I don't know, read some research or something from time to time.

I have learned more from this discussion board and my own limited research than I've ever learned from her.

Am in the process of looking for a new rheumatologist now.

Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: Bernice on September 04, 2009, 03:04:52 PM
Wow! What a J E R K !

>>>>>FLASHBACKS!!<<<<<<<

 I guess it's because I have had similar experiences I always go with the hopes of a 'good' meeting, but I have most certainly learned over the years to be prepared JUST IN CASE! I always keep that crazed other side of me in the bag, unless she's needed! And believe you me she has sure had to come out with that "looka here" look and tone, that seems to shock most of them back into reality at least long enough for US to finish on a better note!

Some of them are so arrogant they know you need their help so will try to talk down to ya! Well I know on my brain fog days I need special patience so I let them know upfront what is happening here, but when they start this crap l let them know I am not stupid, but I am having a problem, a problem that is associated with the very issue I'm here to see YOU for! So work with it, but SLOWER! JUST DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE I'M STUPID OR SOMETHING!


Girl take a DEEP BREATH and calm down, don't allow this J E R K  to make you sick!
Bernice
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: Epson on September 04, 2009, 03:27:02 PM
How refreshing, a doctor who is at least honest, now you know where you stand, whether you like what he said or not.
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: Bernice on September 04, 2009, 03:37:41 PM
Epson,
Yes! It is a good thing for them to be upfront and honest, in fact just yesterday I had one tell me I may not LIKE what he was about to tell me,BUT he was going to tell me the truth ANYWAY! I loved it, had no problem with it. BUT you know when someone is being rude and condescending with you. And that is NEVER REFRESHING!
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: beverly jane on September 04, 2009, 03:57:51 PM
jordozmom
     Im so terrable sorry you had that  happen. You go to doctor with hope. ( Yes Doc be honest, but dont stomp on us when we are down. )
     You wont ever here anyone here put you down or discourage you..  Maybe your next rheumy will be more understanding that it takes more  then meds and some book learning to be a doctor.  What horrable bedside  manner.
 (((((((((((((((((jordozmom)))))))))))))))))
                              Bev
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: Nancy5217 on September 04, 2009, 04:33:05 PM
I think we are seeing the same doctor, well except for the fact that mine is a woman. But every time I ask her anything she either tells me it's not related to Sjogren's or that it's not her specialty. Ok, I get that it's not your specialty but you are supposed to be the one treating my Autoimmune disease, so shouldn't you maybe, oh I don't know, read some research or something from time to time.

I have learned more from this discussion board and my own limited research than I've ever learned from her.

Am in the process of looking for a new rheumatologist now.



Thats is why I have been on a waiting list for a new Dr. I hope I am not putting too much faith in a new one. I seriously think that this disease should be treated by someone other than a Rheumy. But I am confused as to who?
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: Jo Anne on September 04, 2009, 04:56:23 PM
Hi jordozmom,

I am so sorry to hear that you were treated this way. There seems to be so many bad doctors out there but don't let that discourage you from seeking help for your Sjogrens.  We really need more websites that patients can do to and rate their doctors so everyone can know which doctors they shouldn't waste their time on. Because that is the worst thing, how much time we waste on searching for a good doctor. I wish you luck in finding a good doctor and just know that we are always here for you!  :)

Jo Anne
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: jordozmom on September 04, 2009, 05:00:29 PM
Oh you guys - you are all so fantastic.  I am so sorry for such a blunt note, but I was just so - oh, I don't know hurt, angry, crushed, etc., etc.  I should have known years ago that I needed to find a new doctor.  I remember about 6 or 7 years ago I was having a flare and went to see him and he said I should take time off from work and rest.  I told him that it probably wasn't possible because work was so busy.  He looked at my file and said, "Why - you're just a secretary?"  I was floored! I said, "Excuse me?"  He said that it wasn't like I was a CEO or something and that they needed me there every single day to make business decisions for the entire company.  Can you believe that?  My girlfriend (who happens to be a secretary in a doctor's office) said to ask him if he tells his secretary that.  When she's sick does he just say don't worry about being there because she's not a CEO (or another "important" person like...say, a doctor).  Honestly, I know I should have changed drs a long time ago, but I've never been this bad before.  Before I only had to see him every 6 mos or so to get my RX's refilled, so I figured I could tolerate him twice a year.  Today was just unbelievable.  Bottom line, too, is that he thinks it is depression/anxiety.  I tell ya, that is why half the time I don't like to tell people I'm on Lexapro.  People try to act like there is no stigma attached to it and that is just bolonie!!!  You know, before they diagnosed me I was going to the doc over and over complaining about fatigue and illness (by then I was a stick I was so thin) and they just sent me off with a box of prozac and said I had the "baby blues" from having my son.  I kept telling them that I wasn't depressed, I was just SO TIRED!  It wasn't until I was in the hospital paralyzed that they took it seriously.  The truth of the matter is that none of these people know what's going on.  I would have loved for him to be honest, but this wasn't just about being frank, he was obviously frustrated and obviously not willing to go above and beyond his medical training to see if WE could find some answers.  No thinking outside the box. All textbook. He was throwing up his hands and saying "What do you want from me?!"  Well, it looks like I am looking for a new rheumy.  Wish me duck (quack).  
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: Patze on September 04, 2009, 05:42:27 PM
Hi jordozmom,

Are you sure we don't have the same rheumy?  I've complained of mine several times and I still wonder why I still see the guy?  It's sure not because he's really decent to me.  ::)  Well, at least these days he's a bit nicer, a bit kinder than he ever was - guess being sero negative kind of puts him off or something, he seems to be happier when he can do something other than the waiting game (he's not a very patient kind of doctor I guess).

Do you have a major medical facility near you?  Or maybe a teaching hospital?  Those tend to attract the cutting edge doctors, so they are a good place to start.  If you let us know the general area you're in, maybe one of the members can pass on a name or two for you to try.

Hang in there and don't let him or any doctor define who you are, you deserve the same respect just like any other patient.

Feel free to rant as much as you want, shoot, I've been guilty of that myself from time to time, okay, several times (tough crowd around here! ;) :D).

Take care -

Patze

Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: warmwaters on September 04, 2009, 05:50:03 PM
 Wish me duck (quack).  

I don't know, why a duck? (Marx Brothers joke).

Quack Quack -

Seriously, good luck in finding someone who's better to deal with.  Don't blow this guy off til you've got a decent replacement if he's at least adequate from a medical perspective, if not from a personal perspective. Sadly there are many doctors who don't have great people skills. Search for one who is - you are totally worth it!
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: ruby52 on September 04, 2009, 06:00:04 PM
I'm sorry you were treated so unkindly.He's not a Dr. you should see again.He could be upfront with you in a more compassionate way.If you didn't agree with his opinion your free to get another.To me what he said seems to be true at least.I have learned to not bring up a list of symptoms because I don't want a battery of tests that lead to no answers.I just don't think they have enough knowledge on AI illnesses.It's scary to try and figure out symptoms you're having that do have an answer and could be serious if not treated.It's added stress.This is why you need a good Dr. you can trust and confide in and know he'll be respectful and honest.They are out there keep looking and good luck.
                                                                              Ruby
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: Billydude on September 04, 2009, 08:19:47 PM
I think its time we start interviewing our doctors like we are doing THEM a favor by coming to them.   Ask them what their expertise is in,  what you can expect from them,  are they easilly availible to you in a time of need,  and more importantly what their experience is in treating Sjogrens.    I'm so tired of arrogant doctors who are more impressed by their own knowledge and have no listening skills at all.
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: Patze on September 05, 2009, 05:23:24 AM
Amen brother, amen.


Patze
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: gurs on September 06, 2009, 05:26:43 AM
Anyone who has a rheumy like yours needs to change.....maybe its a sign that now is the time, and hopefully you can find one at least more sympathetic. They dont have to have all the answers, but at least a good bedside manner. I went to John Hopkins years ago and the top doc told me to get some more sleep? I cried as soon as I left his office.
Im lucky to have have found my rheumy, who has been practicing for 30 years, and she also has Sjogrens. She is willing to explore every treatment option available.
Not sure what Im going to do when she retires....

We sure need some good doc's out there.  Good luck to you though..

Gursie
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: Crabcakes on September 06, 2009, 07:52:42 AM
I'm with ya! I had a horrible first rheumie appointment. I decided to give him a second chance for my next appointment in October, but if he is as rude and dismissive as the first time, I'm changing docs.

I do figure these docs get sick of traipsing from room ro room and hearing and saying the same things, not to mention the SLEW of paperwork and government regulations. They should change careers. I did.
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: Jules48cats on September 06, 2009, 06:21:47 PM
Don't these Doctors realize that we are paying them co-pays and insurance payments.  I have been seeing my Rheumy for over 20 years off and on.  I don't know what I will do when he retires.  He always fits me in when I have a problem.   He doesn't always tell me what I want to hear and sometimes I think he gets impatient with me when I ask a lot of questions, but he does help me in the long run.  Although some of his staff is not always very good.  I was having allot of problems a in 2005-06 and was supposed to be going for some tests.  Sometimes you have to wait for the doctor to coordinate the appointments.  I called 3 times over two weeks to find out what the hold up was.  For personal issues I tend to get a little emotional and upset.  I am basically a doormat when it comes to confrontation.  My daughter and I were talking about what was going on and we sound almost alike over the phone.  She asked if she should call and get it straightened out.  The problem had something to do with a fax.  She called the next day and was told they did not receive it.  After checking again and knowing it was sent, my daughter called the next day and the nurse told her that she didn't check the fax machine yet.  So Sevannah said to her "Why don't you get off your bum and go check the fax machine."  She wasn't mean, but she was a lttle forceful.  Needless to say that was all it took. When I went for the next appointment the nurse was allot nicer to me.   I have learned to be more firm now when I am trying to resolve a health issue.  Sometimes I think I feel guilty for feeling so sick and needing so much attention.
Jules
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: Patze on September 07, 2009, 06:11:25 AM
All right Jules!  Sometimes you do have to be a bit forcefull for them to do their job ::), sad, ain't it?


Patze
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: Crabcakes on September 08, 2009, 07:53:26 AM
Jules, don't feel guilty for feeling bad. None of us ASKED to be sick!
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: decemberdeb on September 08, 2009, 03:58:30 PM
this is exactly what I got from my PCP.  I was so appalled by his behavior, that I have switched physicians, and sought other options for treatment.
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: irish on September 08, 2009, 10:42:31 PM
You must be going to a brother of my old rheumotologist. I had gone to this woman for about 1 1/2 years and I thought she was so good. Instrumental in getting my sjogrens diagnosed. Then she started to fade on me and nothing new happened. Then, I sat in her office and waited 1 hour for her cause she was so far behind.When she did get to see me she told me that I was taking up too much of her time with all my ailments and complaints.

I never went back, BUT, I did have me next doctors mail their medical notes telling that I had been diagnosed with Myasthenia gravis and low t-cells. What a waste of time this type of doctor is!!!!!We all get stuck with one of these off and on! IRish
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: Patze on September 09, 2009, 02:58:15 AM
Hi Irish,

Wow, every time you tell your story I have to shake my head as it still just amazes me!  Whew, I'm glad that you found another doctor.


Patze
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: Bernice on September 10, 2009, 05:52:04 PM
Naw! Naw! Naw! Irish YOU must have met a close cousin of twin sister of that fool I once had!!


FLASHBACK!
I had a doctor tell me the SAME THANG! After I had sat for HOURS waiting for him, mostly playing around with the young nurses in his office he comes in there and opens his mouth to tell me I take up too much of HIS time because EVERY time I come I have a list of problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that I need to make an appointment for each of them!!!!!!

Chile I thought I had been slapped or something, I mean I could NOT believe him. I told this flat footed joker

No! I was not going to make an appointment and pay a co pay or have him charge my insurance per problem.

But what really made him MAD was when I told him that if he was to EVER SOLVE some of these problems they wouldn't keep adding up!

That was the last time I went to him!!!

This same joker later wrote me to let me know he had become the chief of the hospital!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sure he understood fully why I did congratulate him or the hospital!!!

Bernice
Title: Re: You guys are NOT going to believe this....
Post by: decemberdeb on September 10, 2009, 05:54:00 PM
I recently experienced this very thing with my PCP, I think he was offended that I had more knowledge of this whole thing than he did...BIG mistake!