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Sjogrens Topics => Living Life In Spite of Sjogren's => Topic started by: meirish on May 11, 2021, 10:49:50 PM

Title: I guess I am moving!
Post by: meirish on May 11, 2021, 10:49:50 PM
Well, after several years of agonizing quandary of how to attack my upcoming years I have decided to move up to the town my son lives in which is 2 hours north and west of me. I always went up and stayed with them and drove into a city in the suburbs of Mpls for my IVIG infusions. I did this for over 14 years. For the past year I have been getting my infusions 30 miles from me at the clinic where I see most of my doctors.

This is a huge step for me as I will have to adjust to the newness (although I am looking forward to it) and will have to go through the ordeal of finding all new doctors. I will find some in the town where I am moving and will have to travel to another town for some of the other specialists. I am able to get back with the immunology clinic where I was getting my infusion all those previous years.

Where I live now is secure, quiet and my garage is 9 feet from the door of my apartment. On the other hand there is no activity around here hardly at all and people just hide in there rooms most of the day. Many of them are in there 90's and don't seem to get out much. This is a co-op with 22 apartments and no hired staff to keep the conversation or interest in anything much going on. The people are all nice and the manager who is here 3 days a week is very good at helping out whenever we need something.

After working in hospitals, long term and assisted living I am use to activity and noise all the time. I was also used to it out on the farm as my son had a business out there and there were cars in and out, semis delivering, motors running and engines being worked on and I loved the noise and business going on. To me it meant life was still on the move. Now I am withering up from to much solitude.The other issue is this town where I live has no transportation to hire for going to doctors out of town plus only Walmart for shopping. Just a town that is still over 5,000 people but withering up. The place I am going will first be a very small studio apartment. I have to have surgery on my carpal tunnel again (my 4th carpal tunnel surgery from autoimmune inflammation plus I have a disc below and above the fusion in my neck causing me lots of pain and discomfort that may result in some type of smaller surgery to just lessen the pressure without doing a fusion.

So, I will move up and live small and get through the next month or what ever and come back down here and pack up and move up to the studio with the intent to move into a 1 bedroom eventually. So much more activity and just one short block from a downtown district. Also, this senior living has the ability to transfer from independent to assisted by staying in the same apartment and just increasing services. Also washer and dryers in the 1 bed apartment. If post surgery they have care units where one can stay for some increased attention with nursing direction and also some rehab. Just overall more options without making the kids have to move gramma around a lot. They also have a heated underground garage plus they are cheaper than the living places in my clinics town. Time will tell. Will be a lot to do and I hope I am up to it.

Thanks folks. meirish
Title: Re: I guess I am moving!
Post by: Linda196 on May 12, 2021, 03:29:13 AM
A big adventure!

I hope you find the perfect little nest for you, with socialization when you want it, peace and quiet when you need it, helpful neighbours and pleasant company! Here's to a stress free move and a comfy new home!

Sounds like a great place, I particularly like the post surgery care unit and the ability to increase services as needed instead of having to relocate , even if its just to another apartment.
Title: Re: I guess I am moving!
Post by: Carolina on May 12, 2021, 10:24:29 AM
Dear Irish,

I live in a marvelous Senior Living Community, in an apartment in Independent Living. 

I cannot express completely the joy this has brought me.

The staff is very professional and focussed on our well being, so kind and supportive. We have activities beyond description (pool class this afternoon).

There is transportation to appointments which you can schedule.  There are shopping trips several times a week to Walmart, Target and other stores.

There is Doctors Making House Calls (doctors and PAs come to your apartment, even bringing x-ray equipment!), and a Podiatrist comes once a month.  Screening hearing tests, blood pressure tests, vision tests are held once a month.

There is an onsite beauty salon, home health care providers, and physical/occupation/voice therapists.

We have a gym and a heated indoor pool, and the site is on 23 beautiful acres.

We had our Moderna vaccines administered on site, and we have Covid-19 nasal swabs every week.  The measures to keep us safe have been rigorous and effective.

I'll post a link so you can see my community, even look at floor plans.

Across the street are both Assisted Living and Memory Care.  We don't have a nursing care unit, however.

Moving sucks.  It's in the top ten stressors, along with death in the family, divorce and so on.  But it will be worth it to be closer to your son. 

The BEST part is socialization with the other residents...which is so nourishing to my soul, Irish.

Love, Elaine
Title: Re: I guess I am moving!
Post by: meirish on May 14, 2021, 01:29:59 AM
I am getting very excited about this move. I have done 4 long distance moves in my life when the boys we young. It is stressful as heck, but I always have a book and organize everything and have notes up the ying yang---whatever that is. I always think ahead and check out everything by phone from my current home before I even get to the new town. Easier and helps you know what will be awaiting you.

When we moved from our hobby farm for one year taking our 16 year old son dragging his heels, we left the 19  year old and 22 year old living on the acreage while we were gone.,So we had the farm acreage payment and the rent at the new rental. There were so many issues that I had to keep track of all those years as hubby traveled and I was always in charge..,,he was never home (lucky him) when as emergency occurred and I learned to take care of things.  When we moved that time I had a three ring notebook with information about insurance, the well and what to do if so and so happens..the hot water heater...the electric box...the list was very long. This was to guide the boys through issues that might arise for them. The three of us came home for a visit 6 months later at Christmas and I found the book with a huge sarcastic title written on it. The older two boys thought the book was a hoot. I was so worried about leaving that acreage with the tractor equipment and can get in trouble and parents are always responsible!!!! Silly me...we all lived through

This move is going to be very hard as I have the problem that comes with age...the executive functioning isn't as good and I can't hardly do  more than one task at the same time. Keep getting off on a tangent and start another task. Just walk by a few dirty dishes and then have to clean up the kitchen. Hope my kids don't try to help me cause I sure won't be able to pack and talk at the same time.

I was so lucky today as I was able to get my sons family doctor to consent to take me on as a patient and work with me to line up all the specialists I will need and to teach me about that towns health system. This will help immensely. I see him the second day I am in town. So far things seem to be falling into place but it ain't over til the fat lady sings.

Elaine, your facility sound very, very nice and I am so glad that you are happy and content there. Some nice things help when our health is not good.

Linda, it will be an adventure as you say. I am so excited as the library is only 1 1/2 blocks and the downtown district is so close that on good days I hope to walk slowly down there with my walker. Just the thought of more people around and more activity is exciting. I will be a few floors up and I think I can watch the police station so that will be interesting. Right close to and above the town will make for some activity and noise which I crave. Thanks for you posts. It helps to hear from others. Take care friends. meirish
Title: Re: I guess I am moving!
Post by: MarieB on May 18, 2021, 08:23:19 PM
This sounds amazing!  I hope it all goes smoothly.  It is quite a project to move but before long all the loose ends will be tied up nice and neatly and your new area sounds interesting.  I think I would probably take a lunch and spend most days at the library!  LOL
Wishing you the best.  Keep us posted. 
Title: Re: I guess I am moving!
Post by: meirish on June 11, 2021, 08:00:56 PM
Well, I got settled somewhat in my studio apartment for now. It is much bigger than I figured it would be and has a huge 8 x 6 ft window in the living rooom which makes it so bright. The bathroom is huge. The little kitchen with microwave and small refrig is adequate and I have one meal a day provided. The food is awesome here. We have restaurant type setting with staff seating you and a menu to order from. Not a huge menu but a special every day and choice of about 8 sandwiches and a lot of side dishes. Couple of home made soups every day. They cook from scratch and no added salt and cook to the modified diets ordered by docs when necessary. Also a small amt of food so the garbage can isn't overflowing with every meal.

For those of you who don't know I have moved 2 hours away from my home base of 40+ years to live in the the town my youngest son and family live. I have been up here so much and always wanted to move up here as I love the area. Also figured that since I am 78 years old I better do it before I die. It is hard work to move when we are older. yikes!!!

I love this town and it is busy with lots of shopping in the area. My son and wife, 2 boys live about 4 miles from here. A lake is really close also. I was to have surgery on June 3rd and ended up with a cold/allergies and had to cancel it. Really disqusting as I am having so much numbness in both hands now. I will go back to my coop apartment in a week when I feel better ( a bit of a flare thrown in) and have to clear out apartment and get it cleaned with a hired help as i a too tired out to pursue that. Manager says she will have it sold in 2 days as she has a waiting list of 17 people. I am so anxious to get this over as the heat is hard on us as we all know and hate to thought of being in and out of heat to the dumpster. etc.

My DIL will help me with this also. I have been giving a lot of my things over the past years to the young women who she works with that are just starting out. Most of my things are no fancy and I have sure gotten my moneys worth out of them so feel good about helping these young people out. I have sent in clothes that don't fit that are in good shape and they are gone before the day is over. Better stuff than they will often find at a thrift store.

There is so much at the thrift stores lately with all of us old people downsizing that the prices are quite low where I have lived and not much money to be made anyway.

Have to get my carpal tunnel rescheduled after I get moved back up here....Fall will be nice and I haven't made it through summer yet. lol Take care all. meirish
Title: Re: I guess I am moving!
Post by: sixty on June 13, 2021, 06:51:55 PM
Sounds like you've got it together and will pull this off brilliantly Meirish!  I like that you give your stuff away to those that need it and don't worry about the money.  I often wonder about people that must have money for their items when they are through with them, unless they are very special perhaps.  I once gave away a classic car that needed work and when people found out about it I got some looks.  LOL.  Pay it forward if you can.  That's my philosophy.
Title: Re: I guess I am moving!
Post by: meirish on June 13, 2021, 08:08:24 PM
sixty, You are so right about paying ahead. It makes life so much easier for some of these struggling young people who are working hard to make a life for themselves. I guess I figure that it is the least I can do to given them a little help. I am not rich but have managed to have a roof over my head and food to eat all my life so it is the least I can do.

As a nurse I have worked with a lot of young women and men trying to earn money for college or to make a life for themselves with little help from family. That must hurt and be so hard. Life can be so tough at times. Guess we all hope that someone will help our kids if they need it when times are tough. Take care all. meirish

P.S. I don't have it all together as I am trying to make lemonade with all the stuff that seems to come up. Have you all noticed that when you try to do something it seems that one phone call is never enough. The more ability to communicate society has the less apt communication works right the first time. :)
Title: Re: I guess I am moving!
Post by: sixty on June 14, 2021, 05:20:36 AM
Ha! So true!  Sometimes when I call for whatever, I start by asking for their supervisor.
Title: Re: I guess I am moving!
Post by: Carolina on June 14, 2021, 07:10:00 AM
Dear Irish,

I think the two best things about my place are:

1.  Lots of people (residents and staff) around with activities, entertainment, refreshments to bring everyone out of their rooms to socialize.  Research shows that these interactions are very important to our mental and physical health.

2. A pleasant, relaxing meal time.  Once a day (we choose dinner in the evening) we go down to dinner.  We, too, have staff who seat us (we make a reservation for the time), table cloths and napkins and flowers on the table, and a menu (big restaurant style folder) with several choices.

Then we see almost everyone in a large dining room.

Of course there are people who stay in their rooms for health reasons.

The biggest joy now is that we are ALL vaccinated and no longer need to wear masks.

Keep us posted with all the details.  Moving is super hard, but this sounds like an almost perfect move, Irish.

Oh, do you have housekeeping once a week?  I cannot do any housework, alas. (who would have thought I would miss being able to clean my own house?).  We have housekeeping once a week....  Now if only I could get my husband to organize his piles of stuff!

Title: Re: I guess I am moving!
Post by: meirish on June 14, 2021, 07:52:57 PM
Elaine, I do hs have housekeeping but it is once a month and my studio for now is small but very handy with a great view. And, I do not think that there are very many husbands who get their stuff all organized in a nice pile.

I left the farm place with a couple sheds full of stuff and the kids had to sort out dad's stuff and since my last move I have some stuff in storage in the good shed. So they will have to clean out some of my stuff also. I am still upset that we didn't get that all done but both our health went south, so to speak, so we didn't have the strength or energy to get it done. If the 2 boys living on and about the acreage live to an old age there will be 3 generations of stuff and a lot of junk to be cleaned out of buildings.

The thing is hubby and I moved to the  7 acreas in 1977 and we had to clean up the south 40 which was an acre of lots of machinery and other things that could be used to fix other things. I cleaned up so darn many steel fence posts and put them in one pile....not 10 different piles plus a whole lot of wire fencing of many sizes and shapes. It was so much work and I learned over the years that all that junk was very useful to us and relatives that snooped through out metal piles. Little did I know that I would /give my right arm to be healthy and strong enough to do that kind of work again.

I have to go as someone is shooting a shotgun and I am sitting on the floor typing in mostly dark. We are about 3 blocks fromo the police station so I am hoping this doesn't get to be a habit. ANyway, Ibet there are a few wives who have sorted through junk piles ono farm property in their early years. An educatioin in itself. Have a great evening gals. meirish

Title: Re: I guess I am moving!
Post by: Scottietottie on June 15, 2021, 10:48:51 AM
Hi  :)

 hope the shotgun incident is over and done with and you are feeling more settled in your new place.

My daughter said to me and her Dad - "it's about time you got rid of some stuff - do you realise the job we'll have when you're dead????"

Hubby would like to move but we have way too much stuff and nowhere to put it!

Take care - Scottie  :)
Title: Re: I guess I am moving!
Post by: meirish on June 19, 2021, 05:06:43 PM
Scottie...It is a miserable job trying to downsize. It is so troublesome trying to figure out what you really need and what you want to keep around you in boxes and probably not use much or at all. I am about to the end of my rope over this. I sure wish my hubby had been more concerned about this and been able to help with it before he passed away.

When the surviving spouse is left with all this stuff plus making these decisions it is like getting hit by a truck. WE can think about this for years and have some sort of plan but when the time comes the shock is always there and the ability to make decisions gets so hard. There is no easy way out...except if we die and leave all the work to the

This is one option...but I don't want them to speak ill of me for the rest of their lives. Reality is so darned realand in our face. Take care girl. Have a good summer. meirish