Sjogrens World Forums

Sjogrens Topics => Living Life In Spite of Sjogren's => Topic started by: irish on August 01, 2014, 06:33:05 PM

Title: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: irish on August 01, 2014, 06:33:05 PM
It is really weird to think that is would have been my 50th wedding anniversary today. My DIL told me "congrats" in spite of it all. We were so close to making it to the big 50 but it wasn't meant to be. But, we did make it further than either one of our parents.

Went with my son to his immunologist appt today so was on the road a lot and stopped at several stores. Drove through the cities (Mpls, Mn) and endured a lot of traffic but avoided Minnesota's seasonal activity known as Road Repair. There is not one bigger city that I go through that is not torn up big time---and I mean big time!!! I have no clue where the money is coming from. Never have driven so far out of the way to get any place. I told one lady that I bet if we could look down on this mess from a helicopter it would probably make sense and she said she didn't think so. They are adding roundabouts like crazy.

I treated myself to a new refrigerator and stove today as an anniversary present. I also cried when I left the store cause hubby didn't get in on it. MY sister was about ready to throw my old stove away as it is 26 years old and starting to fall apart. They don't make things like they used to do they.

Just a little input on the life of a new widow. I have been doing so much better than I expected and do think that the Cellcept dose was a little high and caused problems --- quitting it really helped. May  try again at lower dose. I cry every day, but that also seems to help. I try to look through some pictures every day to reminisce and that is really therapeutic. So many things being on a 45 sec cry or so but would never wish him back cause he suffered long enough.

I had a good time with the salesman today and told him that the appliances were a present to myself. Everyone has told me that it is time for me now so I am trying. Also told him that I am 71 years old and my mom had died when she was 78 so I had better get on my high horse and do some living cause I am closer to pushing up daisies than I am to planting them. Have a good day all. Irish
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: Carolina on August 01, 2014, 07:23:17 PM
Oh Irish,  50 years.  You still have it, angel Irish. It is STILL 50 years.  It really is.

Hugs,  Elaine
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: slccom on August 01, 2014, 07:49:12 PM
Irish, I'm so sorry for your sadness. Your hubby is still with you. You know that love is all around you, on both sides of the veil.

Hugs, Sharon
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: Bucky on August 02, 2014, 12:20:06 AM
Thinking of you, Irish, on your 50th Anniversary of the day you wed Mr. Irish.

Enjoy your new refrigerator & stove!  You're right, they don't make anything like they used to.  Our old appliances and vehicles were made with steel and metal, now they are all cheap plastic.   :(  With the cheap materials (hefty price tag to purchase) they are designed to only last 5 - 10 years and then you have to replace them.  I guess the Maytag guy commercials had some truth to them - quality product that didn't need repairs.  Good for the consumer, bad for Maytag.

I hope as you reminisce looking at pictures that it brings a smile to your face (among the tears) of a life spent with the love of your life, the man you married and the father of your boys.  I love to look at photos.  You have a lifetime of memories - savor each special one of them.

Hugs & blessings to you, Irish.

Bucky
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: Joe S. on August 02, 2014, 04:49:04 AM
All I nan say (((hugs))).
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: Confused on August 02, 2014, 07:54:27 AM

Irish, I don't have the right words but you and your Mr Irish have been together so long that you are part of each other, whether you can actually see each other or not.  Time will come when you both will be with each other and able to do amazing things with no pain.

I'm sure he is with you as Sharon said and so as Elaine pointed out, you do have your 50 years and counting.  Love endures, always.  May the pain you feel now be changed to peace and may you be wrapped in comfort.
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: 4Kids on August 02, 2014, 03:30:12 PM
Hugs to you. Happy Anniversary.
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: engy on August 02, 2014, 05:01:26 PM
Hugs Irish. Happy anniversary too. I appreciate you sharing your life stories with us. I'm glad you got your new appliances. Mr. Irish would be too.
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: Cheryl on August 02, 2014, 06:04:45 PM
Dear Irish,
I wish that the 2 of you could have been together today.  It is still your 50th anniversary, though.  What a wonderful idea to treat yourself to new appliances to mark the occasion!  I'm very proud of you for looking to the future while holding lovingly to your past. 
Hugs
Cheryl
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: Suslew on August 02, 2014, 10:29:20 PM
Irish,
I send hugs and love! 
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: Katybarstool on August 03, 2014, 01:09:31 PM
Irish

Thinking of you and your beloved. I had to smile when you said 'nearer to pushing up daisies than planting them'. I hadn't heard that expression before.

Have you cooked anything on the new stove yet? I don't know about you, but it takes me forever to learn how to work new appliances.

Hugs for a very special lady.

Kathyx 
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: harrigan on August 03, 2014, 02:20:53 PM
Oh Irish, what a bitter sweet day.  You may not have reached the 50 year mark but it sounds like you shared a very special love between you that isn't tied down to dates and times. 

Photos are such a comfort.  I have my Mums photo as the screensaver on my phone so I see her several times a day. It is such a comfort. 

You do deserve some 'me time'! Thinking about you and hoping you have good friends around you as well as your family to look after you when you need it. Xx Ailsa
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: angeldancer on August 03, 2014, 08:51:09 PM
Lovely Irish,

You are so wonderful.  Your 50th anniversary is yours to celebrate what ever way you want.  I have to tell you that after losing my son I had to celebrate certain milestones.  His father and i have memories that we wouldn't change for anything.  Will you every stop crying, I can't say.  Sometimes I tear up when I am remembering:  sometimes I think what would my joey want me to do.

Memories and great.  I know you didn't like to see your husband in so much pain and I can relate.  My daughter today said I was scaring her because I had a bad fall in the streets.  I told her sorry because I only want to love on her and not cause harm.

I think I say all this just to say do what you need to do for you.  Its your world now.  Build whatever memories you want with kids grandkids and other love ones.  You are blessed and highly favored. 

Sending much love to you and if I were there you and I would make our own memories.  Heres a giant hug.

Angeldancer
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: A66eyroad on August 04, 2014, 07:22:05 AM
Irish, I missed you on the 1st, but I'm thinking of you today and holding you in the light.  Enjoy your new appliances, I know Mr. Irish is happy for your purchase and smiling down from heaven.
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: eye2dry on August 04, 2014, 09:19:52 AM


Congratulations on your 50th anniversary.

Today will always be your anniversary........my mom said the death of my dad never

changed the meaning of the date...



the first few years after my dads death I sent my mom a

"thinking of you" on your anniversary card.


............Happy Anniversary......spend your day remembering your marriage  and thanking your lucky stars

for all the years you did have Mr. Irish.................


eye2dry
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: jpd54 on August 04, 2014, 09:21:05 AM
Irish,

Here is wishing you the best of days.  You have given for so long to others, now it is time to give to yourself. 

Treat yourself to something every day.  Enjoy life and know that Mr. Irish is there with you.

Please know that we are all here for you.

              Jennifer
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: slccom on August 04, 2014, 12:02:23 PM
Keep sending those cards to your Mom. They mean the world to her, and I assure you that every single year she is remembering her anniversary.

Irish, hugs to you!
Sharon
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: slccom on August 05, 2014, 07:37:15 AM
Irish:
https://www.facebook.com/grieftoolbox/photos/a.155586551205347.31952.146018138828855/328901780540489/?type=1&theater

Hugs, Sharon
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: Thea on August 05, 2014, 04:36:14 PM
Well done, Irish. Hugs to you on this bittersweet day.
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: quietdynamics on August 06, 2014, 12:36:23 PM

A belated Congratulations to you and John.

Our loved ones are always with us.
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: P.Trish on August 11, 2014, 01:20:32 PM
Love the quote Irish. - sending hugs & warm thoughts to you
Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: irish on August 11, 2014, 06:51:22 PM
Thanks for all your nice replies. Yesterday I went out to a shower and then to the store and had to buy birthday cards for all 3 boys who have birthdays in the next 5 weeks. I looked and looked and I finally got them all the same card and it said 'Our birthday wish for you".  Darn it anyway. I am their mother, but they had a father and always will so the birthday cards will always be from the "both of us". You don't stop being a parent just because you are not present in this dimension. At least that is my take on the subject. Life really does become more complicated as we age. Darn, I wish I had listened to the old people when I was young.lol

For those of you with these darn lumps of lymphoid tissue in the throat, mine has decided to sort of rupture and drain again and hurts like crazy. Eating ice cream didn't even help. I also have a bad case of oral yeast so that doesn't help. If it ain't one thing it is another. Didn't get much done again. Darn, the days, weeks, years go by and I can sit and watch the grass grow. My guilt is also starting to leave me so I am doomed to old age, I fear!!!!! Take care all and thanks for your support. Irish

Title: Re: Would have been 50th wedding anniversary today!
Post by: slccom on August 11, 2014, 10:03:31 PM
Irish, you got the right cards! Exactly right.

Hugs, Sharon