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Sjogrens Topics => Living With Sjogren's => Topic started by: SjoDry on January 18, 2013, 10:26:00 AM

Title: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: SjoDry on January 18, 2013, 10:26:00 AM
Okay fellow Sjoggies, I need your help.

Send me your best, "You know you're a Sjoggie if" lines.  I would like to make another one of my Sjogren's Videos,
which will be entitled: You know you're a Sjoggie if...

My wacky sense of humor requires these one liners to be as funny as possible.

Let's have fun...give me your best stuff!
SjoDry
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: LisaMarie on January 18, 2013, 10:48:44 AM
You know you're a Sjoggie if you are really happy to have tears flowing down your cheeks.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Jellyb on January 18, 2013, 11:04:34 AM
You know you are a sjoggie, when your brain fog  makes you misplace a watermelon, and you find it three days later

In the freezer!
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: SjoDry on January 18, 2013, 11:25:26 AM
You know you're a Sjoggie if:

You can apply eye drops without a mirror or light  ;)
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: SjoDry on January 18, 2013, 11:49:26 AM
You carry an arsenal of eye, nose & mouth products wherever you go.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: 4Kids on January 18, 2013, 11:51:25 AM
You find single use eye drop vials in the dryer.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: SjoDry on January 18, 2013, 12:04:41 PM
If you get excited over " Hot Booties"
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: SjoDry on January 18, 2013, 12:06:39 PM
If you wear sunglasses inside and outside
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Katybarstool on January 18, 2013, 01:05:06 PM
...If you feel like a major share-holder of your local pharmacy :)

Kathyx
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Bobbie on January 18, 2013, 01:13:19 PM
When you have your own personal bin in the pharmacy and you are there so often
they go grab your meds when they see you before coming up to the counter ................
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Daisy1234 on January 18, 2013, 02:08:11 PM
When everyone still tells you how good you look no matter that you are having so many serious health issues.  :o
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Katybarstool on January 18, 2013, 02:23:09 PM
Daisy - spot on!

Kathyx
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: MaryBee7 on January 18, 2013, 02:35:38 PM
....when you don't need a bath towel to "dry off"    :P
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Alwaysblue on January 18, 2013, 02:51:10 PM
you're reading this!
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: quietdynamics on January 18, 2013, 03:17:40 PM

When you get a Dx.....and feel relieved.  ???   
When you ask the Dr. if they feel alright?  Just to shake them up...lol.

When you sweep the floor...then use the vacuum for the dirt, cause' you are too tired to use a dust pan. Groan.

You wake up in the morning and yell: "Honey mark the calender ... I feel rested today!"

On a serious note:
You go grocery shopping and put all the refrigerated foods in one or two bags...the important part, then tie those bags...so they show 'bunny ears' .. so you can find them without the hunt. Those go in the home with you....the rest can stay in the car until someone (not yourself) brings the rest in or gets hungry.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: eyeamdry on January 18, 2013, 03:21:47 PM
When you can't open your mouth because your lips are sealed shut from lack of Saliva.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Diane54 on January 18, 2013, 04:34:55 PM
.....When you realize how important "spit" used to be!
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: SjoDry on January 18, 2013, 05:01:07 PM
LOVE THESE...Keep em coming...

You know your're a Sjoggie when: Your stylist just completed a Paraffin Wax Treatment on your hands...but after looking at your hands a few moments later...thought she had forgotten your treatment.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Sadie963 on January 18, 2013, 06:31:58 PM
I had just finished adding a few drops to my dry eyes before a dental procedure and just then the dental hygienist entered into the room.

She yelled "oh no, you're not going to cry are you because then I'll have to start crying. I won't be able to stop."  She started tearing up in the doorway still looking at me. I jumped out of the chair waving my refresh tears bottle in front of me saying "noooo, I have dry eyes, I'm ok, see..no tears..see ..I just have dry eyes...here are my eye drops." 

I then gave her a tissue and she was able to dab her tears away.

true story
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Sadie963 on January 18, 2013, 07:42:30 PM
....when you see the smiling doggy with dentures commercial on tv and you feel a small wave of jealousy because their teeth look so much better than your own.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: gold55 on January 19, 2013, 07:21:52 PM
......when you live in the desert and have paranoid thoughts of the main water source drying up! 
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Ark mom on January 19, 2013, 08:33:40 PM
.....when one of your children has an itchy eye or chapped lips or pain here or there and you have a "oh my god, it's Sjogren's!" panic attack. 

Breathe, just breathe....
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Piebird on January 20, 2013, 01:18:47 AM
You know you're a soggie if they know you by name at the walk in clinic and pharmacy.

You know you're a soggie if you never have to worry about drooling in your sleep in front of your partner.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Lesley_x on January 20, 2013, 02:55:08 AM
On a serious note:
You go grocery shopping and put all the refrigerated foods in one or two bags...the important part, then tie those bags...so they show 'bunny ears' .. so you can find them without the hunt. Those go in the home with you....the rest can stay in the car until someone (not yourself) brings the rest in or gets hungry.

That is a genius idea!!!  ;D
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Piebird on January 20, 2013, 03:39:07 PM
You know your a Soggie if it takes you 3 days to do a load of laundry.

This applies to dishes and vacuuming too.

I hate that these jobs never end. By the time the dish washer is fully empty there is already a new load sitting on the counter.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: angels04 on January 20, 2013, 05:40:28 PM
when you wake up in the morning and think-"I cant wait to go to bed!!"  :-\
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: wally on January 20, 2013, 05:51:31 PM
You wake up and your eyes are stuck together.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: LisaMarie on January 21, 2013, 04:42:32 AM
... when everyone looks at you as if you are going to steal their silverware because you keep talking about missing spoons.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: MaryBee7 on January 21, 2013, 07:04:46 AM
....when you see the smiling doggy with dentures commercial on tv and you feel a small wave of jealousy because their teeth look so much better than your own.

HAHA HA  Sadie!   ;D
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: loulou on January 21, 2013, 12:14:25 PM
Hi all

Loving these

you know your a sjoggies when no one can spell or say what you - even other health workers.

...... the person you tell you have sjogrens has the same blank look that you have when you misplace something...

x loulou
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Myshkin on January 21, 2013, 03:38:09 PM
You hear yourself handing out advice for friends going through menopause even though you're 34 and very fertile.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Myshkin on January 21, 2013, 03:42:13 PM
Your nightstand has:

5 creams
3 body oils
1 waterspray
2 lip balms
2 glasses of water
1 bottle of water in case you run out
3 different nasal sprays
Avene Water Spray
Dry Mouth Drops
NSAID gel
Kleenex

(Yes, that is my nightstand! Don't get me started on the drawers)
Sorry, need my bathroom mirror for eye drops
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: crmak on January 21, 2013, 03:52:12 PM
How about when you're talking to somebody and blink and one eye stays closed! Embarrassing!  :o
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Piebird on January 22, 2013, 02:34:12 PM
These are great!
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: jessiblah on January 22, 2013, 03:47:41 PM
you know you're a sjoggie if....the best part of your shower is holding your eyes open and just letting the water pour on your poor dry eyes.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Saundra on January 22, 2013, 04:32:50 PM
you know your a sjoggie when your reading page 2 a great post hits you but before you get to the bottom of the page you forgot what it was.    seriously :(

XOXO
Ldy
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Saundra on January 22, 2013, 05:47:22 PM
you know your a sjoggie when you can't wait to go to bed so you can wake up and have a cup of coffee

xoxo
lDY
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Sadie963 on January 22, 2013, 07:48:48 PM
You know you're a Sjoggie if...while speaking to a coworker, one of your contacts spontaneously pops out of your eye (just like a survivor jumping off the Titanic). :o
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: lostone on January 22, 2013, 08:10:47 PM
when your eyes look like google maps,, you mouth feels like you ate cotton balls, your skin feels like its crawling,on fire, ice cold, tingly, pick one, you leash the wrong dog, meaning to leash teh one that likes to run off and when you go out, you see a dog running off, you look down to see your old dog leashed looking at you like why theheck did i get the leash, i am to old to run off.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: THE BRIT on January 22, 2013, 08:51:01 PM
  When you hold the record for biggest amount of copays in your pharmacy, they all know you by name and send you a christmas card.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: SjoDry on January 23, 2013, 03:43:06 AM
You mumble obscenties at moving cars (coming & going) because of their blinding
headlights, only to realize it's your eyes that are the problem 8)

SjoDry
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Jellyb on January 23, 2013, 06:05:41 AM
You know you are a sjoggie, when you are driving at night in the rain with sunglasses on because the defrost air is hurting your eyes.

( true story. My husband was driving and I was in the passenger seat with my sunglasses on. He said I looked like a gangster)

:-)
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: jpd54 on January 24, 2013, 12:36:17 PM
You go to the pharmacy for ten refills of meds and the checkout girl asks if these are all for you.

                           Jennifer
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: SonicEm on January 25, 2013, 03:43:22 PM
You know you're a Sjoggie if...you hear many people say "But you don't LOOK sick!"
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: shay0425 on January 25, 2013, 04:21:43 PM
You know you're a Sjoggie when you wake up in the morning and your nose burns so bad that you could cry...if you could cry.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: dainbramage on January 29, 2013, 02:06:15 PM
You drink a gallon of water and your mouth is still dry and you need to drink more, but you don't want to get up 20 times at night to use the bathroom....
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: dainbramage on January 29, 2013, 02:12:39 PM
If you're telling a story and you stop in the middle because you can't remember what you were saying.

If you work just so you can pay for co-pays for your drugs.

When your hairdresser says you need more moisture in your hair, that's why you are frizzy.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: susanep on January 29, 2013, 08:59:03 PM
I just read these. They are great, and I am laughing, and nodding my head up and down, because they are so true.

ok-my turn. lol

You know you are a sjoggie if you call your husband out in the night on the front porch to look at that strange object in the sky, but your husband doesn't see it, because it is your dry eyes causing double vision and halos. (True Story)

You know your a sjoggie when you get new lineless bifocals, and refuse to get them again, swearing up and down they now cause you to see double head lights and street lights, when you finally find out it's the dry eyes causing all the distortions. (also true story)

susanep :) :)
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: MaryBee7 on January 30, 2013, 02:32:45 AM
...... when you back the car out of the garage ..... get out to close the garage door....and forget where you put the car.   ;D
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: kimbo on February 02, 2013, 10:18:36 AM
If you stand at your frig-filtered-water dispenser filling your humidifier bottles and your Camelbak water bottles EVERY single day.

If people think your an outdoorsmen because your camelbak is always clipped to the outside of your purse.

If you take offense when the dignified Art Museum person ask you not to take your water bottle into the exhibit and then when you slip a piece of gum in your mouth they inform you NO gum please and then suddenly in a Sjoggie panic your mouth turns into the Sierra desert.

If you use your restaurant water to refill your water bottle.

If you have ever sneaked your water bottle in your purse inside the movies or a baseball game. - I know I could buy their water, but it's on sjoggie principle that I resent this anyway.

If you plaster your gum to roof of your mouth during church so you don't appear to be an obnoxious gum chewer during church.

If you have 4 Camelbaks - one in the kitchen, one in the living room, one in the bedroom and one at the back door ready to-go. (Not plugging Camalbaks, but they take a lickin and keep on tickin - flip and suck and I get my quick fix and away I go)

Thank you - that felt good.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Bobbie on February 04, 2013, 02:37:41 PM
True story .....  this morning ......  Very cold outside so I remote start the car. 
Walk back to the bedroom to get something, come back into the kitchen and hear
a car in the garage.  I wonder, who could that be????  So I look ........

Oh, it is me.  I forgot I started the car ...... thought of you all .......  my goodness.

Bobbie
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Deegee on February 07, 2013, 08:43:46 AM
When planning a vacation:
~You pack one less shirt so you can pack an empty water bottle.
~You pack one less outfit so you can pack, several types of eye drops, nasal spray, saline mist, mouth gels and rinses, eye lid cleansers, polar scarf and on and on.
~You hold on to your water bottle until the very last minute when at security check points, and then panic about how long it will be until you find a water vendor near your gate.
~The first place you stop at after picking up the rental car is a store to buy a case of water for the car, and case of water for the hotel room.
~The first question you ask your waiter, everytime you eat out is, is it very spicey or overly seasoned?
~Nighttime entertainment consists of going to the Movies, because that is just about all the energy you have left.
~The best purchase of the trip is a light nylon sling to wear, like a purse, to hold water bottles, so you can use your hands to take pictures, shop, ride bikes etc.
~And, being greatful for having been able to get away, and  for a husband who doesn't mind attending to all the crazy little things you have to do because of SJS.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Pisces24 on February 10, 2013, 07:25:16 AM
With me, anything I have something with bread (like a sub or roll), I have to take a bite of it and then put a sip of water in my mouth and then chew it.

Gosh I hate driving at night too because the car lights are sooo blinding to me. I drive a lot slower and look at the curbs if I can. Nothing I've tried has helped this issue either.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: THE BRIT on February 10, 2013, 12:44:51 PM
  When you can't figure out why your indicator light won't switch and you finally realise that you are using the windscreen wiper stick :)
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: NJteacher on February 11, 2013, 11:12:24 PM
You have to explain when something really sad's going on, that you are crying "emotionally" and "internally"

The dental hygienist doesn't have to suction you!

People can tell what you had for lunch because it's stuck on your teeth!
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: LisaMarie on February 12, 2013, 05:02:42 AM
You get to work and contemplate going home because you realize you are out of eye drops!  How will I ever get through this day of computer work?????????
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: aussie mum on February 12, 2013, 02:20:59 PM
Your first priority when buying a new handbag is that it is big enough for your drink bottle to fit in it.

+1 about the panic at airports these days, throwing out a perfectly good bottle of water is SO annoying. When flying home from Vietnam last year,  I had to empty my water bottle 3 times after passing through the customs gate. Usually it's ok to buy water once you've gone through customs.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Deegee on February 12, 2013, 03:58:27 PM
Oh my gosh.  There really are people that can understand what day to day issues are like for me.  I can truly. Relate to soooo many of these posts.  I thought I was the only one with water bottle, food in teeth, eye drop needing, forgetfulness, water with every bite,   and tearless crying concerns, just to mention a few.  Thanks for taking the time yo share.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Joe S. on February 12, 2013, 04:37:06 PM
You are in the hospital and press the button for the nurse because of your level 9 pain. She tells you that if you had level 9 pain you would be crying. When you respond that you can not cry because of Sjogren's you get a look of pure puzzlement from her. (She had no idea of what I said).
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: SjoDry on February 13, 2013, 04:27:29 AM
Oh Joe...Bless Your Heart.
It's not enough to have severe pain..you must prove it with tears :P
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: SjoDry on February 13, 2013, 04:29:33 AM
BTW folks,

I am loving your contributions here!
I have already started creating my You Know You're A Sjoggie If...video. Should be very funny thanks to all of you.

SjoDry
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: Debbie B on February 13, 2013, 11:25:34 AM
....when  you get into a panic when you are in a  room or restaurant with ceiling fans on
....when your sun visor in your car is the most important safety feature
...when shop glasses suddenly become an appealing and necessary accessory
...when you wear sunglasses in the dentist chair
....when you feel like a walking human humidistat able to pinpoint the humidity in a room to the nearest percentage point
....when you are the only one in your group of friends not mindlessy snacking on Turtles
...when it becomes a regular occurrence to knock over your water glass at night becuase you can't open your eyes to see where it is


Thanks for the laughs here..I needed it today!
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: dainbramage on March 25, 2013, 09:25:41 PM
The pharmacy tech looks at the calendar and says to you, its about time for your refills...that ain't right!

Every day you have a doc appointment and one doc wants you to see a specialist and you try to fit the appt. into your schedule, but remember what time you will need a nap, when do you need to take your drugs, don't forget to eat, I still need to make dinner, clothes need washing, I forgot I need to let the dog out, money, insurance costs, will they make me take more drugs, how will my liver handle this.....AND I thought I had it rough.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: LEANY on March 26, 2013, 05:38:39 PM
You know your a sjoggies when you turn to your hubby and say not tonight honey it isn't your birthday.
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: P.Trish on March 26, 2013, 11:00:29 PM
 Liltliwlowa - you nailed it!
Title: Re: You know you're a Sjoggie if....
Post by: finallyadx on March 28, 2013, 10:05:13 AM
You know you are a sjoggie when you are eating something soft and all of a sudden there is something inside your mouth that is not as soft as the food just put in there...you take it out to find it is unfortunately a piece of one your teeth!!!  UUGGGHHH...