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Sjogrens Topics => Living Life In Spite of Sjogren's => Topic started by: Bucky on January 07, 2013, 07:42:31 PM

Title: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on January 07, 2013, 07:42:31 PM
It's a brand new year, time to start another new thread of "Laughter is the Best Medicine".

I really think that laughter is important.  Something to cheer us up and bring a smile to our face.

So let the laughter begin . . . . .

I saw this on a friend's FB page today:


I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing.

IF I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on January 09, 2013, 04:04:17 PM
Here's another one I saw on FB:

Don't get confused between my personality and my attitude.

My personality is who I am, my ATTITUDE depends on who you are.

Quotes Central

heehee . . . so true!!  ;)
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Shade on January 10, 2013, 02:03:53 PM
Love It. LOL
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on January 11, 2013, 06:55:06 AM
Yet another FB one:

"I have decided that I no longer want to be an adult . . . .

if anyone needs me, I will be in my couch cushion fort . . . .  coloring."


LOL Sounds good to me!   ;D  I remember my nieces and nephews and younger brother doing this.  I hope kids have opportunities to use this imagination play time today as so much "entertainment" is electronic these days.   :-\
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: jpd54 on January 11, 2013, 09:41:11 AM
Bucky,

That sound like so much fun!!!  I could use a great escape like that sometimes.

                     Jennifer
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on January 29, 2013, 01:20:05 PM
There are many different colors of hair, in this little story, let's just use blonde.   ;)


"Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive,
double-pane, energy-efficient kind.

Today, I got a call from Home Depot who installed them.  He complained that the
work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

HHHHelloooo . . . . just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically
stupid.  So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy told me last year . . . that
these windows would pay for themselves in a year.

Helloooo . . . . it's been a year, so they're paid for, I told him.

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally hung up.

He never called back, I bet he felt like an idiot."

                                                  Incredible's photo on FB


Love it!!   ;D

Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Duchess on January 29, 2013, 06:44:34 PM
Bucky, that Blonde joke is soooo funny !!!
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: irish on January 29, 2013, 10:52:52 PM
Bucky, Loved them all. Made my day.

The loose fitting clothes one is really waaaay to close to home!!!!! IRish
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on January 30, 2013, 06:47:23 AM
I'M NOT OLD
I woke up,
I lifted my arms,
I moved my knees,
I turned my neck . . . .
Everything make the same noise:
CrrrrrrraaaaaaacccccccK!
. . .  I came to a conclusion:
I am not old,
I am crispy.
 
 
;D

Daveswordsofwisdom
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: jpd54 on February 05, 2013, 11:40:02 AM
Boy, do I feel crispy today!!!  Having to go see ortho about my knee.

                       Jennifer
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on February 13, 2013, 06:14:11 PM
Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?

 A: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew".


Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on March 05, 2013, 02:27:35 PM
This was a picture on FB - there was a cement block with the following note on it:

Exercise Block

1)  Place block on floor

2)  Walk around it twice

3)  Sit down!  Relax

You have just walked around the block twice!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now this is my kind of exercise!!   ;D

Bucky
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on March 22, 2013, 10:35:26 PM
Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy.  He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.  As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.  A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.  He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, "Your were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Flynn said, "Why do you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly . . . . .  it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror!   
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Duchess on March 23, 2013, 06:33:59 AM
Funny!
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: stillinshockwithsjogrens on March 23, 2013, 09:32:11 PM
LOL, that is tooooo funny, Bucky!!!  So glad you're here to add some lightness and laughter to this forum, thank you!
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on March 30, 2013, 01:39:09 PM
Here's some cute Bunny/rabbit/egg jokes I came across:


How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
Just look for the grey hares.
                     ~ ~ ~
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
                     ~ ~ ~
Why does the Easter bunny have a shiny nose?
His powder puff is on the wrong end.
                      ~ ~ ~
What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?
A receding hareline.
                      ~ ~ ~
What do you call a sleeping egg?
Egg-zosted!
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on April 06, 2013, 02:21:48 PM
I saw this on my cousins Facebook page:

"Going to do some gardening today.  I'm going to plant myself on the couch!"


(My kind of gardening . . . sorry, Genko.  ;) )
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on April 12, 2013, 10:53:36 PM
"My face in the mirror
Isn't wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn't dirty.
The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely
And so does my lawn.
I think I might never
Put my glasses back on."  8)

Grandma Jack's Chuckles and Tidbits
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: susanep on April 13, 2013, 01:27:13 AM
Bucky thank you  for these. They put smiles on my face.

susanep :)
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: slccom on April 19, 2013, 09:59:41 PM
I was moaning to a friend yesterday about being achy and stiff. She said, "So, you are celebrating your longevity, huh?"

Sharon
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: P.Trish on April 19, 2013, 10:19:57 PM
Why do ducks fly upside down? So, they can quack-up - that's what this thread makes me do.
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: gmomjuju on April 20, 2013, 05:07:19 PM
I think this would qualify as a "blonde joke"....



One day after work, the blonde walked into a pizza parlor and ordered a small personal pizza.

When it was ready, the waiter asked if she wanted it cut into four pieces or eight.

?Better make it four,? she said. ?I?d never be able to eat eight.?

Judy

Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on April 25, 2013, 06:21:27 PM
I found this in a book I was looking through today:

"I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club
and start exercising.  I decided to take an aerobics
class for seniors.  I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped
up and down, and perspired for an hour.  By the time
I got my leotards on, the class was over."

 ;D

Bucky
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: P.Trish on April 26, 2013, 03:41:58 AM
Hah Bucky! I was all ready to rejoin  a
gym til' I read the last part :)
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on April 26, 2013, 12:17:03 PM
 :D P. Trish!!

Here's another one from the garage sale book I got yesterday - it's a tad long, but it's cute.

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married.  They
go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore.  Jacob suggests
they go in.

"Are you the owner," Jacob asks the pharmacist.

"Yes," says the pharmacist.

Says Jacob:  "We're about to get married.  Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist:  "Of course we do."

Jacob:  "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist:  "All kinds."

Jacob:  "Medicine for rheumatism?"

Pharmacist:  "Definitely."

Jacob:  "How about Viagra?"

Pharmacist:  "Of course."

Jacob:  "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"

Pharmacist:  "Yes, a large variety.  The works."

Jacob:  "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist:  "Absolutely."

Jacob:  "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

Pharmacist:  "All speeds and sizes."

Finally Jacob says to the pharmacist:  "We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please."


 ;D
Bucky
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: SjoGirl on April 27, 2013, 10:02:46 AM
Love it! I work with elders and will have to write this one down to share with them.
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Pisces24 on April 27, 2013, 12:48:41 PM
Here is a true funny for you.
My neighbor is in a nursing home and her house is empty with a For Sale sign in the yard. I don't know her kids. Today there was a strange white van from some type of "systems" company parked in the driveway. I went over and yelled but nobody answered. So I called the cops and explained the situation and they said they'd send a patrol car out to check it out.
15 minutes later two other cars pull up and people get out. I called over to the lady getting out of one of the cars. Come to find out she is the dau of my neighbor and they bought the house. I had to explain to her that I called the cops on them due to a strange van in the driveway. She wasn't upset at all thankfully and said at least she knew the neighborhood was safe.

I don't think they will ever forget me, their neighbor. Welcome to the neighborhood and by the way, I called the cops on you.  :-[ :-[ :-[ ;)
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on April 27, 2013, 05:28:44 PM
Pisces24 . . . . oops!   ;)

I'm sure they ARE glad you are watching out for their mother's house.  That's what neighbors do (or at least they did when I was growing up) - many times now, people don't know their neighbors.

Hopefully, this new neighbor will keep an eye on your place too.   :D

Bucky
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: slccom on April 27, 2013, 06:04:46 PM
Pisces24 . . . . oops!   ;)

I'm sure they ARE glad you are watching out for their mother's house.  That's what neighbors do (or at least they did when I was growing up) - many times now, people don't know their neighbors.

Hopefully, this new neighbor will keep an eye on your place too.   :D

Bucky

That is a really good thing! It is for everyone's protection. I'd love to live near you.

Sharon
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on May 01, 2013, 04:55:08 PM
You know you're getting older when . . . . .

IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE FEMALE . . .

You go in for a mammogram
         and realize this is
      your last chance
    to appear topless in film.

 ;D
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on May 03, 2013, 10:03:17 PM
Here's a "words of wisdom" vs. "laughter" post I found:

"Learn to appreciate what you have, before time makes you appreciate what you had."

So true.

Bucky
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: P.Trish on May 04, 2013, 09:15:12 AM
Thanks, I resemble that remark! Wise words, indeed...
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: odie on May 04, 2013, 01:45:55 PM
Yes, I'm living that pearl of wisdom every day.
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Scottietottie on May 13, 2013, 12:53:35 PM
Apparently my two year old grandson threw a perfectly good orange into the trash can the other day.

"Why did you do that?" asked his mother. "That is a perfectly good orange"

"It's got a belly button" he shrieked. "Won't eat fruit with belly buttons!"
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Scottietottie on May 13, 2013, 12:56:13 PM
the last time I saw my physiotherapist he said that he would see me again in two weeks and if the exercises have gone well he would like me to join a humerus fracture support group for physio. My husband asked if he didn't have a serious group I could join.   :P
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: SjoAmy on August 09, 2013, 10:05:47 PM
There once was a man named Jack

Who couldn't lay flat on his back

He worked all night and all day

And tucked his savings away

For the sake of his spoiled rotten brat

Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Katybarstool on August 10, 2013, 12:54:56 PM
Scottie

I really can't believe your grandson is two already - where did that twoyears go?

Kathyx
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: ellenkerr on August 11, 2013, 09:24:15 PM
My daughter was laughing when she told me she wanted to thank me for teaching my granddaughters to cook.  She said she

had lost track of time and burned the lunch meal.  The 6 year old granddaughter pipes ups and says " Don't worry mommy,

Grandma does it all the time!!!!  All you have to do is cut the bottom off and nobody will even notice it."  She also said, " if it sets

off the smoke detector, all you have to do is wave a plate under it, so it gets new air so it will shut off."   Yes, it looks like my work

is done...those 2 have mastered 15 minute meals, and fire and smoke safety 101!
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Katybarstool on August 16, 2013, 10:35:31 AM
Just had to share this one. No offence to anyone of Irish stock (I am too!)


THE IRISH CHRISTENING
 


Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a
 deep coma.
 After nearly six months, she woke up and saw that she was no longer pregnant.
 Frantically she asked the doctor about her baby.
 The doctor replied, "You had twins, a boy and a girl. The babies are
 fine. However they were poorly at birth and had to be christened
 immediately, so your brother Paddy came in and named them."
 The woman thought to herself, "Oh suffering Jesus, no, not me brother.
 He's a clueless idiot
  Expecting the worst, she asked the doctor, "Well, what's my daughter's name?"
 "Denise," said the doctor.
 The new mother was somewhat relieved and thought to herself, 'Wow,
 that's a really beautiful name. I guess I was wrong about my brother,
 I really like Denise.'
 Then she asked, "What's the boy's name?">
 The doctor replied, "Denephew"

Kathyx

Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: P.Trish on August 16, 2013, 10:50:38 AM
Ha Ha! Thanks for the Friday funny :)
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: jpd54 on August 16, 2013, 01:22:35 PM
Hehehe!!!!   I needed that today.  Thanks!!

                     jpd
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: jpd54 on September 09, 2013, 08:17:01 AM
A "funny" for the day: ;D

88% of people who read this, will love it...

As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper?s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn?t know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I?ve never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played ?Amazing Grace,? the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my guitar and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, ?I never seen nothin? like that before and I?ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.?

Apparently, I?m still lost?
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Katybarstool on September 10, 2013, 12:51:27 PM
Thanks for that - I really enjoyed it  ;D
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: susanep on September 10, 2013, 11:41:39 PM
Me and my husband both laughed over the diggers.  ;D

susanep :)
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: harrigan on September 25, 2013, 01:05:00 PM
Here's one for anyone who works in a school.

Teaching: the only profession where you rob from home and take it to work.
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: jpd54 on September 27, 2013, 08:34:45 AM
   What do you call a fake noodle???        an impasta


              Jennifer

    Have a great Friday!!!!!
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on October 25, 2013, 02:34:25 PM

Grandmother Joke

It was Timmy's 5th birthday and he was joyfully opening all the presents he received.

He saved the biggest for last, so it took a while until he got to opening Grandma"s present.

"Wow" Timmy exclaimed in delight, upon seeing the mini drum set that his Grandmother got for him.

"Thanks Grandma, this is just what I wanted."

It was after Timmy went to bed that Timmy's mother approached her mother. "Ma, I'm surprised at you, don't you remember how it used to drive you crazy when we used to play the drums in the house growing up?"

Grandma smiled and then said "I remember, of course I remember".    ;D


Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Katybarstool on October 27, 2013, 08:53:09 AM
Divine retribution :)
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: slccom on October 28, 2013, 08:35:39 AM
An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough." "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

?We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,? he says. "I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her," and he hangs up.

Now, the son is worried. He calls his sister. She says, "Like heck they?re getting divorced!" She calls their father immediately. "You?re not getting divorced! Don't do another thing. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don't call a lawyer, don't file a paper. DO YOU HEAR ME?? She hangs up the phone.

The old man turns to his wife and says, "Okay, they?re both coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on October 28, 2013, 04:24:54 PM
Seen on Facebook . . . .

Health Warning!!!

Do not shampoo in the shower!


DO NOT wash your hair in the shower!! It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!

IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT. WARNING TO US ALL!!!

I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!

I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning: "FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME". No wonder I have been gaining weight!

Well - I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn Dishwashing Soap. It's label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE".  Problem solved!

If I don't answer the phone, I'll be in the shower!

 ;D

Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: shay0425 on October 29, 2013, 05:10:08 AM
Hahaha!  Good one!
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Katybarstool on October 31, 2013, 01:58:01 PM
Sharon

I read your story to my family - they howled with laughter!

Mrs Bucky, Im going to try the Dawn Dishwashing soap:)

Kathyx
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Pisces24 on November 01, 2013, 04:51:19 PM
That is as bad as orange juice. You ever see the frozen "tubes" of concentrate that you just add water to?  They cost about $1 or so. ----THEN you have the containers of orange juice right by the milk that cost around $3-$4.  It say "right on the container"  Made from Concentrate.
So you are basically paying another $2-$3 dollars for someone else to add the water! Boy are we consumers all getting lazy.  ;)
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on November 07, 2013, 04:15:25 PM
A manager at Walmart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes, he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

The first man replied, "A thought. It just pops into your head. There's no warning." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer.

"And, now you sir?" he asked the second man. "Hmm, let me see, a blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular clich? for speed."

He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house, and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture, the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light," he said.

Turning to Bubba, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Old Bubba replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is Diarrhea." "What!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "Oh sure," said Bubba. "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could think, blink, or turn on the light, I had already messed my pants." Bubba is now the new greeter at a Walmart near you!

 ~~~~~ The Laugh Factory Comedy Network ~~~~~
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on December 11, 2013, 09:47:49 AM
I was sorting through some papers yesterday and came across this one - I posted it here a couple years back, re-reading it, it brought a laugh, so I thought I would post it again.   ;D  (you know us Sjoggies, with our brain fog, some times an oldie seems like a new one to us . . LOL)


The Arrogance of Authority

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher.  He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there . . . ," as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!"

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

"See this badge?!  This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish . . . on any land!!  No questions asked or answers given!!  Have I made myself clear . . do you understand?!!"

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull . . . .

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety.

The officer was clearly terrified.

The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs . . .

(I just love this part . . . )

"Your badge, show him your BADGE . . .!!"


 ;D   ;D   ;D
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on December 14, 2013, 09:26:50 AM
This is an older post of mine from the 2010 & 2012 Laughter thread, but I came across it, and laughed again, so here it is again . . . . . (good thing with brain fog, we can laugh about the same things over and over!!  ;))

       
Female Reindeer

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game,
while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year,
male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter,
usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer,
every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen - had to be female.

We should've known.

Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all
around the world in one night and not get lost.

  ;D
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: jpd54 on December 16, 2013, 10:04:46 AM
Just before Christmas, there was an honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus travelling in a lift of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $5 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up??

Santa of course, the other two don't exist!

     Have a Merry Christmas!!!


                                Jennifer
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Katybarstool on December 16, 2013, 12:54:01 PM
Jennifer, I love that.

Keep 'em coming Mrs Bucky too!

Kathyx
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: jpd54 on December 17, 2013, 09:38:25 AM
Thanks!  I thought it was funny even if my husband is a lawyer!   hahaha

                         Jennifer
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Velcro on December 17, 2013, 11:07:00 AM
This guy goes into his dentist's office, because something is wrong with his mouth. After a brief examination, the dentist exclaims, "Holy Smoke! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has nearly completely corroded! What on earth have you been eating?"

"Well... the only thing I can think of is this... my wife made me some asparagus about four months ago with this stuff on it... Hollandaise sauce she called it... and doctor, I'm talkin' DELICIOUS! I've never tasted anything like it, and ever since then I've been putting it on everything... meat, fish, toast, vegetables... you name it!" "That's probabably it," replied the dentist "Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon juice, which is acidic and highly corrosive. It seems as thought I'll have to install a new plate, but made out of chrome this time."

"Why chrome?" the man asked. "Well, everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!" 
Title: Re: 2013 - Laughter is the best medicine . . . .
Post by: Bucky on December 17, 2013, 08:36:02 PM
 ;D - Good ones, Ladies!