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Sjogrens Topics => Living Life In Spite of Sjogren's => Topic started by: WildThing on March 27, 2012, 02:07:44 PM

Title: I feel old
Post by: WildThing on March 27, 2012, 02:07:44 PM
OK so I know looks aren't everything but I feel old and haggard and I look old and haggard.  I'm a funny washed out color and I look like an old lady.  I used to look in the mirror and see a young girl look back at me now all I see is a washed up, tragic version of myself.  It's funny because, due to my Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, I don't have a wrinkle on my face yet somehow I look old.  Just wanted to moan about it    :(
Title: Re: I feel old
Post by: Carolina on March 27, 2012, 02:50:07 PM
You know, I have this  weird opposite problem.

You've seen my photo.

That was taken when I was 68, and now I'm 70.

I look pretty much the same.

When the subject of age comes up I dread it.

People even ASK if I've had surgery!

I haven't, and I don't use anything special.

How I look is a factor of genetics and bone structure.

And as we all know, most of my body is about 95.

But somehow turning 70, and saying the words '70' to people (like in a doctor's office when you HAVE to give your birthdate and age) triggers this idiotic discussion of how I look.

As if you are somehow 'responsible' for how you look and it is a virtue to look younger than you are????


I know this will seem weird, but it does get to me at times.


Title: Re: I feel old
Post by: Crymeariver on March 27, 2012, 04:44:03 PM
I don't look in the mirror anymore.  Well, I do but I only see my teeth when brushing,the general shape of my hair or an eye when I put in ointment.  I never take in the whole picture.  I don't recognize myself at all.  It's easier to just not look.
Title: Re: I feel old
Post by: eye2dry on March 27, 2012, 05:36:48 PM
When I give my age..I hear you don't look 54. But I feel I do. I look in the mirror and I think my appearance has aged fast in the last couple years.

If it keeps up like this, I may drape a towel over my vanity/bathroom sink mirror.

Title: Re: I feel old
Post by: Carolina on March 27, 2012, 05:48:30 PM
I remember when my older granddaughter realized that people are judged by how they look.

She was outraged. 

You do not control how you look for the most part, and it has nothing to do with your value to others.

Or it shouldn't.

She happens to be stunning, but she knew as a younger girl, about 10, that this entire business of judging others on their appearance is sooooo shallow.

And YET.  It appears to be a major facet of both human nature and the larger animal nature.

A great number of animals make their choice of mate on appearance.  But THEN it is the female of the species doing the deciding.


I guess the entire appearance issue is with us for life.

I'm so much more driven by others factors, and for myself, how I feel day to day is much more important.


Title: Re: I feel old
Post by: irish on March 27, 2012, 09:19:55 PM
Somehow it isn't very much fun to look in the mirror and have some old woman looking back at you. I always think I am seeing my Mother.

I always looked older than my age when I was in my teens and then when in my 40's and 50's I looked 10 years younger. Now---don't even ask. The wrinkles have really crept up on me. Finally decided that I must use a cream for the skin and it does help. At least my mind thinks it helps and that is all that matters.

How about when we look at our husbands and wonder when they got so old. Gosh, you guys, where did the time go???

The truth of the matter is that when we are feeling half way decent we forget how old we are until we look in the mirror. I bet we all look better than a lot of our acquaitances cause we don't sit in the sun and cook. I had a friend ask me what I did to keep my skin so wrinkle free. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't sit in the tanning booths for years like she did.

Sooo, here we sit---feeling old, looking old, but hey, we are still alive and kicking. That accounts for something. Have a good day, guys. Irish
Title: Re: I feel old
Post by: WildThing on March 28, 2012, 10:01:55 AM
Crymeariver:  I don't like to think of you feeling that depressed about how you look.

it crept up on me quickly too, since I got SS and OCd before then I looked fine but I feel like I have aged at least 10 years in the past 2 or 3.  So much has gone wrong in my life though it's hardly surprising. 

you're right, we may look awful, or not, but we're still breathing in and out that's the main thing.

can so empathise with you actually because up until I was in my late 20s/early 30s I looked very young for my age.  I used to get chatted up by boys in their early teens as they thought I was a teenager.  Once I worked for a newspaper and I was 28 at the time and one morning on getting into the reception I realised I forgot my swipe card to open the door to the main part of the building so I turned to the receptionists and said "sorry, I forgot my card today could you buzz me through?"  Then they started questioning who I was and asked if I was on 'work experience'.  I'm in the UK and work experience students over here are 14-15.  It was infuriating as that sort of thing happened all the time.  I also used to get talked down to by people my own age or even younger because they thoght I was a kid.  That was offensive actually because tenagers are not remotely stupid and deserve more respect than that.   Oddly enough though even if, after treating me disrespectfully because of my looks, even if I explained my actual age the patronsing continued as if they thought my youthful appearance effected my intelligence. 

People just astound me sometimes. 
Title: Re: I feel old
Post by: clarestella on March 28, 2012, 04:21:20 PM
I am old!  I will be 66 on my next birthday.  Sjogren's has done a job on my appearance in the last few years though.  I used to love putting on makeup and going out and about.  Now I can't wear any eye makeup as it irritates my eyes terribly.  My skin has gotten so dry and my legs and arms have aged 10 years in 2 or 3.  My hair has gotten very thin.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and really want to cry.  Ha ha, the joke is on me because I can't cry a single tear. 
When I start to feel really down, I try to remember that many people have cancer, MS, and many other terrible diseases.  I am lucky.
Title: Re: I feel old
Post by: Iris on March 28, 2012, 05:12:52 PM
I'm 50 so I am old..  ;D  But I really feel a lot older and to me I look older.. People always used to think I was younger than I really was but I doubt they would now..

One of my first symptoms was dry eyes so I haven't been able to wear eye makeup for many years.. In the last 3 or 4 years everything has gotten worse so I don't even bother with any kind of makeup any more.. Turning gray early seems to run in my family and I even stopped coloring my hair.. It was just too much trouble.. Until I saw how gray the front was after I cut the last of the colored part out.. I hate it so now I just dye it blonde and it doesn't look so bad if it grows out a little before I get the energy to color it again..  ::)
Title: Re: I feel old
Post by: WildThing on March 29, 2012, 04:36:49 AM
Iris and calrestella:  neither of you are old you're young women still!  I also can't wear eye make up though and am going grey, terribly dry skin that just flakes right off.  Life + SS has relaly taken it's toll on me.  As for MS and cancer...they're not as scary as the media makes them out to be, many cancers are treatable and I have a friend with MS who is much healthier than I am!  She has a full time job and everything!
Title: Re: I feel old
Post by: LizPetillo on March 30, 2012, 05:28:04 AM
My 50th birthday is coming up in June.  But the past two years of this have aged me a great deal.  I look totally different .. much older .. than I did two years ago .... ugh.
Title: Re: I feel old
Post by: Pisces24 on March 31, 2012, 03:10:32 PM
I feel old everytime I go into the grocery store. I learned to count in the grocery store as my dad would have me add and subtract when we went. Soooooo I remember when prices were sooo much cheaper.
Gosh I am only 55 and I remember 10cent soup, $1.59 beef roast, 25cent ice cream cones,  25cent ham sandwiches, 25cent hamburgers, etc. etc.  I have to mentally unclench my fist holding the money when I pay for stuff and say that was then and this is now!

No matter how old you are, your "sparkle" brings out your personality. Don't bemoan yourself for your age. Pat yourself on the back for your fortutide and experiences. I know so much more than some younger folks cause - been there, done that so I can help. Even with something as dumb as - you take the license plate off the car when you sell it.  ::) I fought for all that I have and earned every "colored" grey hair.  ;)
Title: Re: I feel old
Post by: WildThing on April 01, 2012, 09:59:46 AM
I know what you mean Liz and Jackles, I aged very quickly too although when I come to think of it I think it's more that I look sick than I look old.  My cheeks seem to have lost their volume though and sunken in which is strange and the dark circles under my eyes which I always had are even darker.

Pisces I moan all the time about food prices!  Ridiculous what the charge these days.  Prices seem to go up every time I go in there as well!  Shocking.
Title: Re: I feel old
Post by: soycoffee on April 02, 2012, 11:50:59 PM
Both my mother and father looked young for their ages, so I got good (i.e. young) genes. I'm 71, and look somewhere between Carolina and Irish. I can understand how it is that Carolina looks so young in her picture; I have a young looking picture from almost 20 years ago that I still use for my picture id with the university. Best picture every taken of me.

But, I feel disfigured by years of acne rosacea. Recently my wonderful eye doctor who also has acne rosacea (as my sister and daughter do, as well) just subtly encouraged me to do more with my eyes -- not in eye makeup, but in trimming my funny hairy eyebrows and grooming them, at least. She also told me to use Vitamin e oil on the acne rosacea scars on my chin, which I do, when I remember to do it. My hair has grown back with a vengeance and needs to be cut every month -- I've let it go 2 months, but it's the same straight fine hair that Carolina /Elaine seems to have, and looks good when cut nicely.

There's a complex interplay at a university between the age one appears to be, the age students think you are, the age your department's faculty thinks a  teacher should be -- and "real" age. If you want to stay away from campus and spend time with grandchildren, you are too old. You never mention grandchildren to students in a class, or at a faculty meeting, or at a seminar or other presentation. Since I'm not tenured faculty, I hang around the fringes foraging for crumbs, anyway. I *am* beginning to lose the urge to make a contribution to this sick system, and feel that way one day out of seven. When I get up to four days out of seven, I'll quit.

How it is,
P.S. Think of Andrea Mitchell! She's ten years older than I am.

Title: Re: I feel old
Post by: WildThing on April 05, 2012, 11:45:41 PM
It so strange when you think about it how most people judge others on age or how old they think they are.  It is so illogical.  I mean like that time I worked at that newspaper when I was 28 and everybody thought I as a 15 year old work experience student and as a result talked down to me as if I was of inferior itlelligence.  15 year olds are not at all stupid anyway so why talk down to them even if I was one?  I had the same problem in a hairdressers the same year in the same town I went in to complain and they spoke to me as if I was a child and I had a hunch they were even younger than I was yet they talked to me as if I was about 8 years old.  It was so rude and unprofessional.  I felt like hitting her lol cheeky biatch lol.  Quite honestly in any other setting I would have told her to ****off.