Sjogrens World Forums

Sjogrens Topics => Living With Sjogren's => Topic started by: ttdub on January 28, 2011, 03:48:31 PM

Title: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: ttdub on January 28, 2011, 03:48:31 PM
Alot of people talk about the exaustion and I was really curious if you guys can have sex with the exaustion. I apologize if its a bad question.
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Joe S. on January 28, 2011, 04:21:56 PM
I know that sex is a 3 letter word and I have some very vague memories of an experience called sex. The last memory I have of it is 1979, I have a daughter that was born in 1980. It is supposed to be good for triggering endorphin release to help us feel better. I think I will have to use other methods to get endorphins.
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: mews on January 28, 2011, 04:39:15 PM
Hhahaha, I just posted this on another topic, my Urologist just asked me if I was having sex, I started laughing so hard I wet myself right there in his office in front of him.. so now he had living proof I have some issues!!!! LMAO

Mary
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Carolina on January 28, 2011, 04:41:04 PM
Well, I'd rather have sex with my husband!

On the topic of sex with exhaustion:

Seriously tho......... my answer would have to be mostly NO.   Especially if there were any serious pain involved, as well.

I need to feel half way strong and good, to be 'in the mood'.

But then I'm an old lady, too

Can't wait to see what others write.

Kisses

Elaine

Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: nancylee on January 28, 2011, 04:55:09 PM
Sad sad story. I haven't consumated my marraige yet.
hey..maybe i'm not actually married..
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: ttdub on January 28, 2011, 04:55:57 PM
I know that sex is a 3 letter word and I have some very vague memories of an experience called sex. The last memory I have of it is 1979, I have a daughter that was born in 1980. It is supposed to be good for triggering endorphin release to help us feel better. I think I will have to use other methods to get endorphins.
Is it due to sjogrens u havent had sex?
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: JannaLee on January 28, 2011, 04:58:03 PM
I certainly hope you guys are joking!

Sometimes sex is the only thing that makes me feel better!
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: susan on January 28, 2011, 06:51:52 PM
Joe, I love your answer!
My answer is similar to Carolina's-----mostly no.
The exhaustion is a factor, but the main one is a strained relationship.
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: ynevar on January 28, 2011, 07:08:40 PM
Janna----I am on the same page as you!!!!  I truly HOPE and PRAY that it is NOT affected.... it seems to be one of the things I truly enjoy even when I am miserable, fatigued, hurting etc... a little oasis, so to speak... in a lot of pain... Might help that we are just married under 2 years.... give me a few more and a few more with Sjogren's under my belt and a little less moisture... LOL then I think I will invest in industrial size lubrication products! LOL

-Y
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Joe S. on January 28, 2011, 07:34:01 PM
ttdub, my wife wanted sex only for the two children that we had. Most of the time she would be considered to lack libido. It did not help that my hormone levels dropped and the paralysis after the mylogram left me with varying levels of ED. As I said at one other time, I can be covered in Androgel from toe to head for weeks with out changing my levels. And yes it has been several decades.
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: dbab on January 28, 2011, 08:01:49 PM
There are times when I feel like I may not have the energy but then I quickly remember how I feel afterward and I truly believe in the endorphin effect on the pain.  It also is great stress relief and the relaxation afterwards is better than any sleeping pill out there.  I do have an issue with dryness but I have found relief with KY vaginal inserts.  It's great, it's the closest thing to natural lubrication (before SJS issues) that I have found and it will last for a few days.
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: season on January 28, 2011, 08:37:36 PM
My husband and I are not as young as we use to be and we both suffer from exhaustion at times. The fatigue is a very hard thing to fight and battling everything that goes with sjogrens sure puts the fire out sometimes.     But.............I still like sex.
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: irish on January 28, 2011, 09:48:41 PM
I have to add this little tidbit which is not quite as shock provoking without the actual numbers-which I have forgotten.

There have been numerous studies in the news/papers/magazines/etc., lately that indicate that in young, vital, energetic, normal, non ill people, sex is on the way out.

No kidding, the studies show that people are having less sex than ever and it is most likely due to the amount of stress in society. Most people have both partners working and with long commutes the time and fatigue are killers. They have kids at the sitters. Get home and eat late, kids to activities, throwing wash in at midnight, etc.

It used to be that the weekends made up for the busy weeknights. Now it seems that people are so busy on the weekend with kids sports, buying groceries, lawn care, etc and the list goes on. I have not mentioned the internet until now, but I would bet that after the kids are in bed and the chores are done people are logging on and spending so much time that there is nothing left of them.

So, it is not only the chonically ill who may have a slower sex life, it is the whole darned world. The European countries are such large consumers of alcohol that I would bet they fall asleep before they get to bed. They most certainly don't put in the long days like Americans unless they are the "upper echelon". Interesting topic. Am I going to answer??? Let's say that I am not quite dead yet exhausted with Sjogrens plus myasthenia which bothers more than the sjogrens. Irish ;D
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: lizzi on January 29, 2011, 03:28:13 AM



             well,im married but i have not had any sexual contact in nearly 7yrs,for many reasons,exhaustion,depression and

              the last couple of yrs a strained marriage as a result of my illnesses and depression,to be honest ive never been

               interested in sex anyway but thats another story!!!!! i personally think sex is very overated anyway
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Sandisue on January 29, 2011, 04:43:52 AM
Hey,

Did you mean actually with someone?   Joking... I still have a very strong sex drive, as long as I have proper lubercation, thank you ladies for helping me out with that one....but for some reason it's the one thing that still makes me feel almost normal again. I know it sounds silly, but I still get heart flutters, when my sweetie touches me...But don't tell him that....

Sandisue, 52 yrs old..
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: sarahjane on January 29, 2011, 06:24:11 AM
Thanks soooo much for this thread! I guess we forget in between all the other stuff going on that we are something other than a diagnosis. Luckily the only symptom I don't have is dryness issues of that nature-it's more a problem convincing my other half that I am still a woman!
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Carolina on January 29, 2011, 07:39:56 AM
Ahh, must chime in again.

Sex cannot ever be over rated!   for me, that is.

I've been married 48 years, and it has been the transcendent experience of our marriage that holds us together beyond any words.

But I was multi orgasmic and for me it was a completely transformational experience.

WAS, sigh, because besides my 28 years of post menopausal condition, I had THREE surgeries on my bladder in 1999 that did a great deal of nerve damage in critical areas.

However, and this is KEY I think, the willingness to be together, and do whatever it takes to give and take affection, closeness, and pleasure is the KEY.

We are both less easily aroused and brought to satisfaction...but we help each other and cheer each on.

There is great joy in sharing each other's pleasure.   And honoring each other's bodies and desires.

And we can argue and snipe and snark at each others for days on end!  Believe me, this is no bed of roses.

But somehow carving out some space for this part of our relationship is healing, for both of us.

I hope this isn't TMI (too much information) but we have adjusted endlessly over the years, and the willingness to keep trying has been essential to us.

Kisses

Elaikne
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: nancylee on January 29, 2011, 08:25:47 AM
Your husband is one lucky man!!! I'll be you are not having any problems with your relationship!! I just dont feel anything anymore. I wish I even has thoughts of it. There is just Nothing!

Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: warmwaters on January 29, 2011, 10:19:59 AM
Still like having sex, but energy and pain have definitely reduced the ability to do so. Lubrication is also an issue. It's hard to feel sexy when you are in a lot of pain. Luckily my partner and I try to seize the moment when we can.  We've also had to be creative in finding ways that don't require me to use much energy.

It's a tough problem - many of the meds that the doctors prescribe can also have an effect on sex drive (especially antidepressants), so you can lose your interest in one of the things that make you happy.

Gotta love this disease!
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Jozee on January 29, 2011, 10:32:48 AM
My husband and I do about once a month and that's just because we feel it's what we are supposed to do. He is not ill just VERY tired too. My entire body hurts especially when having sex so that is another problem. We get along together great tho and are in much love.
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: ohiolady on January 29, 2011, 11:38:30 AM
Carolina,

I could have written your post and feel the same way.  Thanks for saying what I probably wouldn't have taken the time to say.

Anna

Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Meld256 on January 29, 2011, 10:02:09 PM
Ok, I'm not giving any time-frames on how often my husband and I get together, but will say this:

We do not have sex as much as we'd like. We talk about wishing it was like when we first married 23 yrs. ago. His blood pressure meds and my meds have messed up both our libidos somewhat. What we do is make time for each other, be close, sit and talk quietly, or laugh and enjoy...sometimes that turns into more! :)

Some of those times I have a little voice thinking how achey and tired I am and hope I don't pay for it tomorrow, but it makes me feel better afterwards. We have a special closeness that sex improves.  We laugh the next day often because he has leg pain and if that's gotten worse or my back hurts worse, we tell each other we have "a sex injury" :) I'm glad we are still able and willing.
Melinda
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: seren on January 30, 2011, 04:12:45 PM
I just had to add to this thread....Like some of you, for me SEX is one of the few pleasures in life and I LOVE chocolate but definitely prefer sex, if I had to make a choice that is.. lol   ;)  Its such a wonderful way of keeping the intimacy in a relationship.  I am nearly 44 and have known my husband since I was 15 (he was 16) and we have been married 22 years this year and have 19 yr old twins.

Of course like everyone, we have our ups and downs, but sex for me is such a release and the endorphins released during it, help to mask any pain for me, if its a bad day...

So if it 'tickles your fancy', keep enjoying as long as you can  ;D

Paula..

 
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: twilite on January 30, 2011, 05:45:04 PM
SEX ...   ???

it's been so long.  When I was young and married sex always hurt, i was considered fridged and we divorced.  sex has never been a picnic for me...  i do know that when i have not had it in a long time like 1- 3 years i am hurting all over the next day.

i will probably never have the pleasure again in life as my last serious relationship ended when i was diagnosed in 2008 - he couldnt deal with "it".  now i am dealing with my own issues and don't give it a second thought.

~Twilite
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Kimberley on January 30, 2011, 06:57:19 PM
UGH, this is exactly why I've wanted to keep my head buried in the sand about this dieseas.   I ended a terrible marriage of 20 years (he liked my makeup, shoes, cloths and oh yes other men) so I ended it, gave up trying and I did try everything I could come up with and when your hubby pushes you away during a "kneeling" event that's when you call it quits.
Please tell me (because I have been very deprived in this area) that I will be able to have sex...PLEASE!
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: kellijo73 on January 31, 2011, 08:21:03 AM
Wow, I am so sorry as I read some of these posts.  Intimacy in a marriage is the most amazing thing there is.  I have been married for 20 years, have 4 children (ages 14 mo - 19 yrs), work full time, have a husband who is a full time pastor.  He has had several back surgeries and has chronic pain.  I have been diagnosed with Sjogrens for 3 years but have probably had it much longer.  I also have Rheumatoid Arthritis and am in constant pain.  I take my pain meds about 30 minutes before bed so I try to help myself feel better at bedtime.  Even with all that going on, we still make time for each other a couple times a week if possible.  He knows my pain issues and I know his, but we work around it as much as possible.  We find positions that are comfortable, propping with pillows, etc.  We also keep lubricant within arm's reach so that when I am having a bad flare up we are prepared.  Honestly, sex is much more fun now that it was 20 years ago!  I am in the sexual prime of my life (supposedly) and I don't want to miss any of it. 

Take heart, there is still hope!!!  I pray that you get to enjoy your spouse as much as you should!

~kelli
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: deeindiana on January 31, 2011, 01:41:09 PM
I'm a bit embarrassed to ask but...am I the only one who gets a urinary irritation from sex?  I'm prone to it anyway (pain & burning, but it never shows up on the doctor's urine test as an "infection") and just doctor it myself with lots of water and Phenazopyridine.  But sex will really aggravate it.  So...add that to menopause, exhaustion, dryness, etc., and I just can't work up the interest.
Deb
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: seren on January 31, 2011, 02:34:57 PM
Hi Deb,

No..thankfully I dont get urine irritations or the like after sex.  I am dreading hitting the menopause, which I imagine wont be long I am nearly 44 and my Mum was 39 when she had hers. 

I will probably have a different story to tell regarding sex when that times comes with all its associated problems :(

I hope you find some reflief for your menopausal symptoms!

Take Care
Paula  :)
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Calli66 on January 31, 2011, 05:43:20 PM
Just wanted to say thanks to everybody posting on this thread. Reading this gives me hope and makes me feel I'm not alone with my low libido problems.

Have to keep trying.

C
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Meld256 on January 31, 2011, 07:48:08 PM
Well, ttdub, you started a great thread and we see how many different answers there are. I wonder if you were prepared to read all the many answers you've received.   :oIt's run the gamut, just like all our other issues! 

Very interesting, though, and thank goodness for this forum where we can discuss anything at all.
Take care,
Melinda
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: LeoLady on February 01, 2011, 01:59:33 AM
Hmmm.  My husband and I will celebrate our 40th anniversary on May 1 and the fire is still burning.  That man still makes my knees weak.  No, wait - maybe that's because my knees are shot?  Probably a little of both...

Sex has always been a great part of our relationship and hopefully will continue to be for many years to come.  Oh dear, poor choice of words!!   :o   ;D

Blushing now.

Hugs,

LeoLady  (Melinda)
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: peachpop on February 01, 2011, 09:17:59 AM
Ok, I am usually a very shy type of gal who doesn't like to get involved in topics about sex BUT I feel I will be doing a deed to humanity by saying PPL PLZ, in the words of Nike, JUST DO IT!
First of all, this disease does enough damage to relationships, taking sex out of the relationship because of it only builds more resentment. Not to mention that strained relations add to the stress that fuels our fire pain.
I know it hurts but I take four ibuprofens before my husband gets home and to be honest, afterwards the pain is tremedously better. Even though I may not be in the mood per say, I hound my husband often because it helps me feel better the next day, seriously. (He doesn't realize I'm just using him!  : )
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: seren on February 01, 2011, 12:28:38 PM
HA HA! your all sooo funny.  Ordinarily, I would not usually discuss SEX. :o.. However, its such a great stress buster, pain reliever, intimacy/contact is so important in a relationship.  This thread just goes to show how HUMAN we all are...  :)

I am genuinely sorry for those of you who have difficulty in that area, for whatever reason! really I am..

Take Care
Paula x
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: noeladevile on February 01, 2011, 02:13:20 PM
Sex is something I make it a point to have at least weekly. Great stress reliever, not to mention that it eases tensions between my husband and me. We just use a ton of astroglide and it's all good. I do have to take an antibiotic afterwards to prevent UTIs. If I get to a point where I am unable to have sex w my husband, just take me in the back pasture n shoot me! :)
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: ttdub on April 07, 2011, 02:54:16 PM
Sex is natural. No reason to not talk about it. I think this thread is actually getting humorous and relieves some stress for me.
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Enjoy Your Day on April 07, 2011, 03:31:27 PM
What a great conversation, I have so much respect for this site and how well mannered and helpful people are here. I just had to add a little to the soup pot.

My husband and I celebrated our ten year wedding anniversary on march 30. He is 40 and I'm , well, let's just say younger. Before the medical issues began last year we were "frequent fliers" ;) with the progression of the physical symptoms we were not racking up "the sky miles" like we used to.  Fatigue, pain, tired, feeling like half a wife, half a mom, half of a woman isn't great for the libido and neither are the stupid meds some of us take. One day we looked at each other and said "Hi roomie." that very we took a non-stop flight reclaimed our intamacy and our relationship has been sooo much better for it.

I now know that sex is not an all or nothing deal, like being pregnant or not pregnant is an exact.  I try not to be too hard on myself if I can't complete the act.  It sure is fun trying and the endorphin release was prescribed by a doctor on his prescription pad :D

Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: kimbo on April 22, 2011, 08:17:03 AM
WOW! I read this thread last nite,  it was fun , but I was too exhausted to contribute.
Took my insomniatic body to bed. Of course I had to take my sleep helper for my racing mind and fidgeting, wrestley body.

Sjog body , sex yes.
I married my lover 32 years ago coming this 4th of July. He sparked me then and he sparks me now. May be not as often.
When I am bone tired, in my not a chance body position, No way Buddy, leave me alone,. I can see his grin in the dark when he breaks thru all barriers and  he always reminds me afterwards.; that I had more fun then he. He says its not fare. 

We use to watch a sit com called ?Darmah and Greg? She was a free spirit raised hippie style and  he a Lawyer raised straight  and wealthy. They were having a truth session in an episode, taking turns being truthful to make sure their relationship was totally authentic.
Darmah-I lied about having an orgasm   / Greg-YOU faked an orgasm / Darmah- no I faked not having one. / Greg- WHY / Darmah (sheepishly) I wanted another turn.

I wrote this funny conversation on a note. Because my husband missed  this episode, he was at church. When I got to church, sitting at the front. I handed this note to my husband. We both sat and  silently laughed?? and then my husband got up to preach as always on Sunday evenings .

We have little cards at church that we can put comments on, or prayer request. My daughters and I had lots of fun placing comments on these. I once wrote on mine?..?I feel ,I need to confess, that I sleep with the Pastor?  . Later after church as I was coming down the hall I could  hear lots of laughter, as this piece of information was shared.
So much fun. Years have passed and I am not so brave anymore.
20 years at our church.  They  still keep us. A healthy relationship is a great blessing.

Sex, Love, and laughter is good for  us sjoggies.

Blessings, kimbo
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: dbab on April 25, 2011, 08:58:53 AM
^^^Enjoyed your post Kimbo... very cute :)
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Bonnie on April 27, 2011, 07:15:42 AM
Just got back from vacation, and have a funny tale to tell.  We mangaged to get a little bit of US time.  I had been napping in the afternoons, and was not feeling exhausted. 

We both went for an "afternoon nap"  ;) , when my DH realised that I was still holding the bottle of lube in my hand like a woman from a 1950's TV commercial.  When he asked me if there was a camera filming us for a TV advert, and when would I start giving the advertising spiel (sp?)  We laughed so much.

We don't manage to have sex very often because of the pain and lack of libido.  DH has also learned that when I offer sex he should take me up on it, because in 2 or 3 hours I could be asleep or throwing up or whatever else this disease throws at me.  We call them Windows of opportunity  :)
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Meld256 on April 27, 2011, 09:41:26 AM
Bonnie, that IS funny... :D my husband and I need to keep some humor in the bedroom, too. It helps a lot.

Kimbo, liked your post, too! Are you familiar with Anita Renfroe? She's a pastor's wife, Mom and comedianne and she is hilarious!
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: dainbramage on April 28, 2011, 07:23:32 PM
Our sex life is a lot better. (I have had this discussion about this earlier.) I went to a sex store and spoke to the people who run this. I told them my problem and I really need help. They know more about this than any doctor and are more open to help you and tell you what to try. (Now they know me by name. ::)) My husband is sooo much happier.
I found if I take a long soothing shower and lay down in bed and get comfortable, kids in bed, my husband sees me in bed he knows to take care of my needs first. (his smile gets to me  ;D) Sometimes if I am so exhausted he does a lot of the work, which he enjoys. To be explicit, orgasms help with our endorphines and make us feel better. It is also a sleep aid. If you can't reach that point, sometimes other aids need to be used. My husband loves his bedside table of goodies and he has been so good to me, I try to give back. We have had the most sex this year than any other year. He does not say anything about my weight and that makes me less stressed.
Doctors can only do so much, so I went to a sex store for help and I got to know these people, they let me know when something new has come in so I can try new things to help. (I used to run from this and feel so slutty, NOT ANYMORE) My advice is to speak to your significant other and keep them in the loop or you may lose them.
I used to have a lot of UTIs....drink water, pee right after and wipe front to back. Gosh what a hoot! Peeing is the biggest thing.
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Kimberley on May 19, 2011, 10:41:40 AM
Wow... I just read all of these posts and I must say, "I'm bummed out". Recently (one year ago) I finally filed for a divorce that was a long time coming (no pun intended). The main reason for my divorce was my husband was confused as to whether he wanted to be a man or a woman? So sex was only a part of my 20 year sentence during the first couple of years before I found this out about him.  I sure some of you are asking "why did I stay for so long?"  I can't explain why, I just accepted it as my "fate".  Kind of like why women stay with men who beat them, I felt trapped, it was a BIG secret, I didn't want to tell anyone, and he made it sound like it was MY Fault.  So I finally grew up in my 40's and I'm looking forward to sex... I have SJS, but I still want to have a loving, receptive, productive relationship with someone down the road!  I don't want this dream squashed also :(
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: wiccagal on May 22, 2011, 06:54:11 PM
I also tend to get uti's from sex... its the lack of lubrication that can cause bacteria to be pushed up in to the cervix and cause issues where as normally it would be flushed out.  I have a stash of antibiotics that I can take before or after sex ( depending on the position will also effect if I get one or not....)  which has helped immensely!! 
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: ttdub on June 08, 2011, 12:08:09 AM
I am quite late getting back to everyone, and for that, I apologize. I must say that I'm so shocked as to how many replies their were. I hope this thread keeps going. I am so happy for everyone! I can't wait to feel the joys you speak of. I truly hope I get the chance. This forum has such a great community. I wasn't sure where that post was going go, but everyone handled it very maturely and spoke with great authority on the matter. I appreciate all the answers!!
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Joe S. on June 08, 2011, 03:30:49 AM
Okay, "Safe Sex" should include an anti-biotic. Is that topical?
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: engy on June 08, 2011, 05:33:33 AM
First of all, this is a great topic! When I was at my worst my husband and I didn't have sex and as soon as I started feeling better it was the first part of my life I wanted back.  I think it is important for many reasons that have been stated and there are many good suggestions given here also.

I was one that also gets UTI's but I don't do well on antibiotics.  My doctor suggested cranberry capsules (taken by mouth people) after sex and I haven't had a UTI since.  They are the only medicine/supplement I keep in my bathroom. I usually buy expensive good brand supplements but I just bought a cheap $5 bottle at drugstore that is 500mg.  I take one or two after sex with lots of water and yes... peeing and wiping correctly important too :)
I didn't believe it would work but it has for me so may help others!

Carie
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Narablueeyes on October 13, 2011, 10:13:41 AM
My hubby and I still enjoy our time together and he's pretty understanding if I need to stop.  My question is:   Has anyone experienced near fainting or just an overall feeling of oh-my-god-I-feel-awful moment after orgasm?
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Joe S. on October 13, 2011, 12:42:01 PM
I do not understand your question. What is orgasm?????

Does that have something to do with sex? Do people still do that?
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Narablueeyes on October 13, 2011, 01:08:07 PM
I do not understand your question. What is orgasm?????

Does that have something to do with sex? Do people still do that?

HA!  Yeah but it's quite scary for me.  The latter sensation is almost like a sense of doom coming over me.  That's frightening. 
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Jenny on October 13, 2011, 02:53:31 PM
What a great topic and so many unashamed answers.  I had problems for the last couple of years with lubrication too, before I was diagnosed. My doctor said it was probably "pre-menopause".  Sex hurt so bad that I would bite my lip to transfer the pain some times.  I ended up with a cyst from friction that the doctor had to remove.
My gyno put me on Premerin Estrogin cream which helped a lot.  Then we discovered "Astroglide".  It can be bought at most pharmacies over the counter and is wonderful.  Much better than KY jelly.  I still don't have much "desire", but at least I'm not in pain while I try to have a somewhat normal marriage.
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: drylady on October 13, 2011, 05:15:16 PM

 Engy thanks for that tip! 8)
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: liv4ever on October 13, 2011, 08:14:08 PM
like facebook... is there a "like" click.. great comments here!!!!!!!!!!! I want to click LIKE! :)
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: grafxmkr on October 14, 2011, 07:16:17 AM
Personally I like to think of it as "sex-therapy"

I'm recently out of a 11 year relationship (he cheated... douchebag) and I am dating a very wonderful and loving man. I gave him the full Sjogren's disclaimer in the first week of dating and SHOCK he still wanted to date!

Long story short, ex and I didn't have sex frequently and when we did, well... it sorta hurt. I have VERY sensitive skin "down there" and it took me over a year to find coconut oil (used daily) to make things more comfortable. I was extremely afraid to enter the dating world, but I found out that the more often I engage in sex (with my one man) the more things feel good. Not only is a break from pain, but also it releases all the stresses that we carry on our backs daily. I can be tired and have a little lazy sex, we don't have to be marathon bunnies to have a good time.

I recommend sex no less than 3 times a week to keep everything exercised. When there are long time lapses between encounters, dust can settle and things can get uncomfortable again.  :P
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: A66eyroad on October 14, 2011, 08:02:35 AM
I recommend sex no less than 3 times a week to keep everything exercised. When there are long time lapses between encounters, dust can settle and things can get uncomfortable again.  :P

Reminds me of that scene in Annie Hall where they both go to the therapist. She says to the therapist, "He wants sex all the time! Like three times a week." and he says, "We hardly ever have sex. Like three times a week."
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Meld256 on October 14, 2011, 10:18:56 AM
A66ey,
 ;D :D

I fear "the dust settles" around our house more often than we'd like.  Between my husband being exhausted sore/wornout from working his long hours, to me being exhausted, sore/wornout from "just being the new me."

We laugh because it becomes hard to find a time when we both feel decent, but when we do...very nice! In between, we flirt and keep the fires smoldering, even if it's not a blaze like 20 years ago!
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Narablueeyes on October 14, 2011, 10:24:56 AM
A66ey,
 ;D :D

I fear "the dust settles" around our house more often than we'd like.  Between my husband being exhausted sore/wornout from working his long hours, to me being exhausted, sore/wornout from "just being the new me."

We laugh because it becomes hard to find a time when we both feel decent, but when we do...very nice! In between, we flirt and keep the fires smoldering, even if it's not a blaze like 20 years ago!

Even at my healthiest, best feeling younger self, I never had sex three times a week.  I'm glad someone's gettin' it and enjoying it.  We try to save our weekends for us time.  Doesn't always work but there have been a few times where a weeknight snuck in and was great but boy did I pay for it the next day.  Didn't care though because it's our special "nice to meet you again" time.  :-)
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: nancylee on October 16, 2011, 04:51:14 PM
THREE TIMES A WEEK???? Hahahhahahahahahhahahahha!!!!
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: grafxmkr on October 17, 2011, 02:22:00 PM
Hey I'm only 37!  ;)
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: nancylee on October 17, 2011, 03:08:18 PM
Well, there you go!!!! If you keep that attitude for years to come, you should have a very happy husband ....

Poor Tim!!!!!
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Narablueeyes on October 21, 2011, 07:54:33 AM
Has anyone experienced body pain the morning after?  My whole entire being is screaming obscenities at me and not even my Ultram is denting it.
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: season on October 21, 2011, 09:50:40 PM
Nara are you sure its an orgasm? I just never thought of "awful moment" and a "feeling of doom" being in the same sentence as orgasm. I have been to the point of "near fainting," though.   

Waking up the next morning sore all over...........Ah, those were the days. I haven't had one of those mornings since sjogrens slapped me hard.
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Narablueeyes on October 22, 2011, 12:34:31 AM
Nara are you sure its an orgasm? I just never thought of "awful moment" and a "feeling of doom" being in the same sentence as orgasm. I have been to the point of "near fainting," though.   

Waking up the next morning sore all over...........Ah, those were the days. I haven't had one of those mornings since sjogrens slapped me hard.

When I read your question, first I laughed and then I got peeved.  Whatever...yes Season, I'm sure.  Been having them for 30 years.  But it's not with EVERY orgasm, thank goodness. 
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: season on October 22, 2011, 08:37:30 AM
Sorry Nara...........I didn't mean to offend.      I was making a funny.   I do apologize.
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Narablueeyes on October 22, 2011, 08:45:25 AM
Sorry Nara...........I didn't mean to offend.      I was making a funny.   I do apologize.

Oh no, no, no!!!  Don't apologize.  For pete's sake!!!  The more I thought about it the more I giggled.  I was amped on my pains med too so I sounded gnarly, it's I who need to apologize. 
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Narablueeyes on October 22, 2011, 06:35:38 PM
Sorry Nara...........I didn't mean to offend.      I was making a funny.   I do apologize.

I have been feeling so guilty about my reply and sent season an apology.  This is one of my big problems that I am constantly working on:  not letting the pain do the talking for me.  One of my favorite sayings is by Emerson:

‎"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: nancylee on October 28, 2011, 06:59:25 AM
I am not really sure why and who is apologizing. This is a pretty funny post.

You all take care!!
Title: Re: May be a personal question and somewhat explicit
Post by: Diane54 on October 28, 2011, 07:16:54 AM
If I can stay awake past 8pm there is a remote chance.............so tired all the time but we manage!