Author Topic: The Stress Factor  (Read 2621 times)

wordnerd

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The Stress Factor
« on: June 08, 2009, 12:47:58 AM »
My mom was laid off on Friday.  I've been really stressed already.  Money has been soo so tight, so despite being too tired to be out of bed most of the time and on SSI, I've been trying to work doing website and game design.  That's more stress.

And I've been feeling more and more run down.  And I think my mom loosing her job is kinda like the last straw.  Between the stress and the pain, I can't stop grinding my teeth.  My everything is extra swollen.  I think my AI pancreatitis and AI hepatitis are flaring up.  Plus the vertigo, the numbness, and weird autonomic stuff is worse than usual.   My whole body is that heavy sort of tired where I barely want to lift my fingers to type, god forbid get up to go brush my teeth.

But I can't sleep much because of the stress.  There's so much to do.

I have about 5 doctor appointments I need to go to in the near future and I don't how we'll pay the co-pays.  Plus my Rixutin infusion is coming up.  And I was already really really scared about that.

When my mom came hope early on Friday and told me, I held her while she cried.  I'm usually so positive but right now there are tears streaming down my face.

I'm scared and I feel awful.

I feel like I don't ever have the luxury of being taken care of and being able to relax and concentrate on getting better.

The stress is clearly bad for my conglomeration of autoimmune diseases, but I don't know how to not stress when so much is reigning down all at once.

Plus I have this very bad intense feeling that I'm going to end up back in the hospital again for some reason.  That reason is probably my OCD is flaring up too and making me think that.

Oy I'm a mess!  Thanks for letting me vent.  I think it helps.  <3

Tryfan

  • Guest
Re: The Stress Factor
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2009, 01:27:22 AM »
I can understand what you mean when you say:

'I feel like I don't ever have the luxury of being taken care of and being able to relax and concentrate on getting better'.

We all have different circumstances and reasons for stress don't we but it is how we deal with it and the support we have which really matters.  I believe you do have to put yourself first at times like this.  I've just come out of hospital after complications from a flare (have blood clotting problems) which I think was triggered by stress.  It's easy for people to say 'don't stress yourself' when it is sort of out of your control.  In fact, people saying that to me usually stresses me more!

Anyway, I do think it helps to write down your concerns.  I see you are called 'wordnerd'.  Do you enjoy words and writing?  You are clearly a brilliant artist and I suspect, if you are an artist, then you are a sensitive soul.  You need to see this as a great strength and express your worries and fears creatively maybe.  This is sort of taking care of yourself first and giving yourself a little luxury. 

I do hope something and/or someone comes to your aid soon.  Believe that this will happen....it helps me to think like this although it isn't easy.

I don't know what else to say other than I wish you all the best and hope to hear that you are feeling more positive soon,

Maryx

Chickpea

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Re: The Stress Factor
« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2009, 06:26:48 AM »
Hi sweetie

I'm so sorry to hear that all these things are happening at once.  No wonder you're feeling overwhelmed.  The good thing is that you're aware of it, and able to spot the signs in yourself that the stress is becoming too much.

Mary is so wise:  the artistic gifts you have and the ability you have to express yourself through words will be what get you through.  They won't save you from being stressed, but they will enable you to deal with it.  Trust your gifts.

Thinking of you - Chickpea

Dolly Dimples

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Re: The Stress Factor
« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2009, 02:22:30 PM »
 Dear Lauren, you have way too much going on right now, and yes   , too true the stress rears it's ugly head when all the cards are down!

    Poor girl you must treat yourself kindly, and try to deal with one important issue at a time ..   I would advise that you start by getting to those appointments  soon as, letting the Docs know exactly how you are feeling..
 
      I'm afraid I do not understand your health service  in the US, as I am in UK..but I know that the US are way ahead in treating SS compared to our Docs in the UK..
 Hope you find some comfort from the good advice of the other posts,and that soon you can deal with all these issues..
                                                         God Bless Dolly         

lynnmarie219

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Re: The Stress Factor
« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2009, 04:51:35 PM »
Vent away...I'm glad it made you feel a bit better...you know we are always here for you!

Try to be kind to yourself and hang in there.....

(((((((((word)))))))))

wordnerd

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Re: The Stress Factor
« Reply #5 on: June 08, 2009, 11:27:38 PM »
Thanks everyone for being so supportive and letting me vent!  You are all such a source of strength.

Well I finally got some sleep last night.  I'm feeling much more positive again today.

I called and made 2 appointments with 2 possible internists (I don't have one besides my uncle which isn't good for me).  I'm seeing the first tomorrow.  He is a rheumy besides an internist.  I already have a great rheumy, but I'm hoping his knowledge of AI will make him better at helping me manage all my different autoimmune diseases and all my different specialists.  I am also seeing my AI Pancreatitis specialist this week which is good because I've been having pain after eating again :(

Also my friends want to hold a fundraiser for me so I've been diving in designing a website for it - trying to make it a fun experience for them so I don't feel so weird accepting their charity.  Gives me a way to deal with the stress I guess.

Tryfan:  Yes I love writing.  I am working on my first novel, and write a blog (link is in my signature).  Expressing myself in different ways is very important to me.  Like a basic need.  You are right on about that. :)

Cickpea: Thanks for reminding me to trust myself.  I forget to do that wayyy to often.

Dolly:  Yes I tend to get overwhelmed when I try to take on everything at once.  One thing and one day at a time is something I try to live by though.

Lynn:  *hugs* :)

wordnerd

  • Guest
Update
« Reply #6 on: June 09, 2009, 03:46:29 PM »
Well the new internist declined to take me on as a patient today.  He didn't want to have such a complicated patient.  >:(

However he gave me a recommendation for a good internist who might be a better fit and willing to take me.  He even called over there and they got me tomorrow evening.  So I get to go back to the city again and the next day to see my AI Pancreatitis specialist.

Here's to hoping the doctor tomorrow is "the one".

Shari

  • Guest
Re: The Stress Factor
« Reply #7 on: June 09, 2009, 04:13:34 PM »
It's been a long time since we have chatted so i do not know what has transpired since we last talked.  The last I knew you were setting up in home health care and wonder if any of that worked out for you?

Stress certainly does no good for anyones health and it is hard to bounce back from a flare let alone taking care of you emotional health as well.

My Internist is also a Rheumatologist and calls me, "A complicated case"  He works out great for me and works to keep the other docs informed so that we are all on the same page.

Venting is good....breath deep...pamper yourself...have a good cry....and visit your wonderful friends here!!

Fairy

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Re: The Stress Factor
« Reply #8 on: June 09, 2009, 05:28:15 PM »
Don't worry, we all get overwhelmed! I would talk to your Dr.s and tell them what is going on with the finances and see if they will wave their co-pay. I know some Dr.s will do that, Just a thought.

Keep smiling and maybe do some yoga breathing. I try that because all of the Dr.s say to me, "no stress, no stress"! I wonder how you are suppose to live a life with no stress, especially when you are sick.
Keep your chin up and try and get some rest.
I hope you feel better soon!

navydad

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Re: The Stress Factor
« Reply #9 on: June 10, 2009, 03:50:50 PM »
Havent written in a while, been trying to work which is next to imposible,, the company doctor said I was unfit to work, Had to beg to try and get 10 days in so I can collect disibility again,, ilm so tired,, this autonomic stuff is killing me,, I am officially down to 130 lb,, i dont want to eat since my stomahc is so messed up,, they did ultrasound,, spleen is covered in something,, gallbladder is so messed up wit stones,, sinuses have another Rare baxterial infectio and another fungal infection,, so many doctor appoitments and no answers, my PC,, hes useless,, he called today and said we think you might have a GI bleed going on,, I asked now what and he said I really dont know,, WHAT,, you see my scans,, and you have no clue what to do,, I xat bring mysewelf to look at myself,, pants falling off,, wake up in t mornng so tired,, neuropathy at its worst,, have to heat up my clothese before i put them on, it feels like ice water on me if I dont,, hows the rituxin working ut,, my insurance denied me for it,, I dont know why i would want to wpe out the rest of my immune system getting rituxin,,  my qualiy of life sucks, get up at 5am,, sit at the kitchen table,, cant smell anything, had a bottle of vicks and tried to smell it,, LOL, nothing,,, I swear i;m surrounded by the most incompentent doctors known to man,,,, talk about stress

Fairy

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Re: The Stress Factor
« Reply #10 on: June 10, 2009, 05:34:09 PM »
Navy Dad,
I am sorry that you are having such a hard time. And I'm glad your back. All of these medical problems would try anyone's patience. Remember, you are not alone, and we are here to listen.
I did wonder about the smell thing, I can't smell either. I thought my coffee pot was broken one morning, and low and behold, it was brewing, I just can't smell it. I didn't even consider it was SJS.
Anyway, I hope you get to feeling better and you get your Dr.s straightned out. It is very frustrating. ???

Epson

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Re: The Stress Factor
« Reply #11 on: June 11, 2009, 09:09:22 AM »
Navydad,

I don't feel so bad when I read your posts, dude you are messed up, you have got to find a doctor that can take the bull by the horns, I only wish that I could tell you where to look for him.  When you think you have found someone, it take 3 to 4 months to get in to see him, I thought that was only supposed to happen in countries with socialized medicine, we have the most expensive healthcare money can buy.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2009, 03:15:38 PM by Epson »