Author Topic: Time out for last few weeks  (Read 1709 times)

wen.uk

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Time out for last few weeks
« on: September 16, 2008, 08:39:27 AM »
Hi everyone

Not spoke to you for a while so hope everyone is keeping well.  I've been off sick from work for almost 5 weeks now after practically running myself into the ground by dragging myself in work and trying to keep going at home too.  It's only when I read some of the e-mails I sent to my friends and hubby that I realise just how bad I was.  So I admitted defeat and have taken some much needed time out for rest and recovery.

Must say I'm feeling and looking a whole lot better for it - blimey it's no joke and does you no favours when everyone keeps looking at you like you're the spectre at the feast!!!  I'm due to go back to work next Friday but I won't decide until next week what I'm going to do as I don't want to go back if I'm not ready and end up like I was before.

I've also struggled with guilt this time, as I've felt so guilty and bad for being ill and making everyone else worry, plus we're already understaffed at work so I know my being off is going to put an even bigger strain on the others there so have felt bad for that too.  So I've had a bit of an emotional roller coaster as well as a physical one.  Anyone else ever feel guilty for being ill and the effect it has on others?, have you pushed yourself to dropping point when you know you should have just took time out?  I'd be interested to hear if you have.

Love Wendy x

Pooh

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Re: Time out for last few weeks
« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2008, 01:34:15 PM »
Hi Wendy,
Any one worth their salt feels guilty when they can't hold up their end of things.  Even I feel guilty when I'm down for a couple days and watch my husband do what I'm suppose to be doing. 

We would all rather do it ourselves I'm sure, but when we can't, we just have to realize our bodies can't do it and rest. 

I'm sure when you go back, you will help out those that took over for you while you were gone.  In a good company this is what happens. 

I hope you are feeling better and are able to go back without getting run down again. 

Take care and let us know how you doing.

Hugs, Pooh

Scottietottie

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Re: Time out for last few weeks
« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2008, 01:44:23 PM »
Hi Wendy  :)

I'm sorry you've been having such a rough time.  Sounds like you really needed time out. DON'T feel guilty. What is it with women and guilt???  You can't help feeling ill and the rest of the world actually does know that.  If you had MS rather than SjS everyone would be amazed and admiring of you soldiering on. Right?

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better now. Try not to run yourself into the ground again!

Take care - Scottie  :)
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Linda196

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Re: Time out for last few weeks
« Reply #3 on: September 16, 2008, 02:18:34 PM »
This is a quote from a very insightful post:
Quote
Just hang on in there, try and find even the simplest thing to enjoy each day and most importantly be gentle on yourself

It was from you, Wendy, just before you started this thread. We all seem to do it. We understand and rally when someone else is feeling poorly, we encourage without judging, and we allow that other person to carry a lighter load. Then we turn around and feel guilt because we don't understand why we can't carry on, we get mad at ourselves because we judge ourselves as "not carrying our share".

I've pushed myself way beyond the dropping point, and then kept going, because I thought I had to. When I finally had to stop, when my working was possibly going to cause a dangerous situation for someone else, guess what? The job still got done...the place didn't fall apart...I wasn't irreplaceable! That might have been a bit of a blow to my ego, but it taught me something, and in learning that lesson, I was able to drop some of the guilt I was making myself carry...no one else made me feel guilty, it was all my idea.
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pudmott

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Re: Time out for last few weeks
« Reply #4 on: September 17, 2008, 02:55:52 AM »
Hi Wendy,
I have had a similar experience to you. I've been unwell since mid july and kept going to work and getting sick untill my body forced me to take 5 weeks off. Even when i went back i was still having to call in sick at lest once a week. I was feeling so guilty because our hospital system is very short of registered nurses and i was one of only two full timers. It took a lot of soul searching but i realised that to keep myself well and also i will admit partly to ease my guilt i dropped down to four days a week. I requested to work two on one off two on two off so i could manage. And you know i even felt guilty about asking for that cause i've always been taught that as a nurse you work what you get and thats it. Even so my work cant guarantee those shifts you see im single and don't have kids or family committments, when i am at work i try to get on with it and even though on the inside i feel like im falling apart on the outside i just look tired. And of course all nurses look tired. I actually got more concessions earlier in the year when i injured my back at work and had to follow a return to work path.

Go figure. Anywayi'm glad you are feeling better. Take it easy when you go back to work. Don't push yourself and listen to your body. Let us know how you go

Pud