Author Topic: Moving advice/thoughts  (Read 1131 times)

Nomad

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Moving advice/thoughts
« on: February 23, 2017, 11:29:12 AM »
I hesitated to post here, because I thought it might be only for very positive topics.  This is not truly..,.but I definitely could use some positive thoughts and advise.

We have our home for sale and plan on moving about four hours north within our state. Hard to say for sure, but I think we could and likely will end up moving this summer. My husband is retiring.  He will still work PT, as he has a small-ish consultant business.  We have family in the new location, including our grandson, age 4.

We've lived in this city practically all our lives. We have lived in this house about 19 years. I'm freaking out about my doctors, friends and of all things...misc. services. The other day I got sad about the fella that mows our lawn. He is kind, friendly and always gives me a fair price. I've known him for a good ten years.

The idea of moving makes me worried about the stress and all that goes along with that health wise. The idea of finding new doctors scares me. Even finding new support personnel like people to repair things and mow the lawn.Some of these things we might be able to get from relatives...not sure.

Also, in a weird way, at times, it's nice to be away from relatives and just swoop in for a week. Absence often makes the heart grow fonder.

How many of you have moved like this after many many years in the same city and home?

Any advise?  Thank you.

SLE, Sj.  Syndrome, IC, Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia, ITP (low platelets)... Various meds and lots of vitamins. Trying to eat healthy; seems to help a little.

Joe S.

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Re: Moving advice/thoughts
« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2017, 03:22:23 PM »
We live in MPLS area. Our youngest Daughter moved to the area by it is a 45 minute drive to see her and the kids. It is nice to see them and go home. I made the suggestion that we may move 1500 miles away for my ability to get a drug if I can not get it here. (in two to three years). She almost threw a fit.

Being closer you will do a lot of baby sitting. You will develop a closer relationship. And they will develop a better understanding or your limits.

Start reducing the stuff you have. My move to MPLS was three of UHaul's Largest Van and one of the small ones plus many car lodes. When we moved to this house, we filled three roll off dumpsters and still moved more than I care to think about. Before we tossed things. We took many loads of stuff to Good Will, 1/2 price Books (40 large bins of books).

The next move will involve an auction, a roll off dumpster. and lots of trips to Good Will. I still have 60 bins of books. I have a new wardrobe so I have to donate the old one.
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Nomad

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Re: Moving advice/thoughts
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2017, 05:34:42 AM »
Thank you, Joe.
Good advise!
I'm amazed how difficult this is for me...in every way. Physically and emotionally. I'm taking one day at a time. Thank you again.
SLE, Sj.  Syndrome, IC, Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia, ITP (low platelets)... Various meds and lots of vitamins. Trying to eat healthy; seems to help a little.

Carebear

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Re: Moving advice/thoughts
« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2017, 09:32:05 AM »
Timely post, Nomad.  We are nearing the end of our selling/purchasing/moving process.  It began three years ago with the realization that my health was not allowing me to enjoy the yard work and all it takes to keep a house well maintained.  We just sold the house and take possession of a brand new condo next month, in a nearby city.

So, for what it's worth, this is what I have learned:

1.  Decide for yourself where and when you wish to move.  It was a gigantic decision for us because we have lived in our home for 23 years.  We logged in many, many hours viewing different lifestyle choices, educating ourselves about the new cities we were considering.  Driving and walking around the potential neighbourhoods at different times of days was very helpful.  It took three years to get there, so unless you must move, don't pressure yourself by creating an arbitrary date.  Remember that you are in the driver's seat.  Trust your instincts.

2.  Expect to be an emotional wreck.  I have been, and no one warned me ahead of time.  I thought there was something wrong with me.  But it goes back to point #1.  Remember why you are moving, and try to look forward to the new adventure ahead of you.  That's why we took so long to find the new home, that was just right for us (not our family, not our friends, not our realtor).

3.  Down size before you sell the house.  This means purging everything in the house, garage, and yard.  I was astonished at how much "stuff" we had, and how little we really need.  Sell, donate, recycle, throw in the trash...that way you have less to move and your house shows well.

4.  Get the house ready for sale.  Fix things, replace things, paint stuff.  Make it easier to sell.  We interviewed four realtors and had them appraise the house, give us a formal presentation,, and provide us with their opinions on what we should (and should not bother to do) to the house.  It was very helpful for us to speak with professionals who were not emotionally attached to house, and who knew our neighbourhood well. 

5.  Make lists.  Divide responsibilities.  Don't do it all yourselves.  Pace yourself.  Try not to sweat the small stuff.

I wish you good luck, Nomad, whatever you decide to do.
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irish

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Re: Moving advice/thoughts
« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2017, 08:30:11 PM »
I have moved 3 times within a 5 mile distance and 4 long distance moves. The long distance moves are a challenge. It is painful to move, especially when one is older and is attached to their home. Also, when the kids are gone from the home it is much harder as we don't have as many ways to touch base with others within the new community. Then, there is the fact that being ill cuts down on our energy and ability to get out and about.

The first thing to do is to get a notebook and write down the things you need to do when you leave. Put items that involve the packing in one column and the ones you have to call to cancel services plus the addresses and phone numbers so you have them handy.

Look up on line the name of the services you will need to call and sometimes have 2 choices so you can compare prices, ie; cable, gas company. Also write down the address and phone numbers. Think of all the services you might need.

Check the internet and find the name of the insurance agencies you might need, banks and churches and write down phone numbers and addresses. This takes pressure off of you when you get to town. You will also have to call the electric/gas company(prior to moving) to give your name and address and when you will be there so they can change over the service or even come to the house if they need to.

Be sure to sit down and write down all the insurance polities, etc. and magazines, whatever, that need the addresses changed. You will have all their addresses and phone numbers in your book and after you move you can take the time when you have time to get this chore done.

Make sure that you have a sturdy box or good plastic container to put all your household chemicals in. The moving companies don't allow these in their van so you have to take them in the car. Also, if you are going to pack yourself and need boxes get out weeks early to pick these up. The best stores are the liguor stores.

Call and find out day/deliveries and have them save the boxes for you. Make sure to pick up. If you don't show they are not apt to save boxes for you again.

You will not find many boxes at grocery stores. So many of them are not sturdy & they get their deliveries at night and put them in crusher. Even if you call them to save boxes the message doesn't get passed on between the shifts.

The smaller stores like the dollar stores/Car Quest,  have sturdy boxes and if you go in and talk to them they are more apt to save boxes for you. It takes time to collect the boxes so start early.

Use old newspapers to pack glass or other products that won't be hurt by the print. I also used a lot of bath towels, etc. If you don't have a lot of old sheets and blankets to cover appliances you can go to the thrift stores and find some pretty cheap. This is an expense that can save you a lot of headache down the road especially if you move yourself.

Take jewelry in the car plus antiques/glass ware  No matter how you move make sure to take sleeping bags/few clothes in case you get stuck in a weird circumstance. We moved once with 3 kids and ended up getting into the house but the van had a breakdown. We had the sleeping bags, toilet paper, a few snacks, towels, few clothes, etc and were able to stay in the house and survive.

Just telling you this so you know to just plan ahead so that no matter what comes up you will not panic nor will you find yourself sitting someplace in your care totally unprepared for stuff that comes up. If you plan you will have no worries. Just keep everything in the notebook and write down any calls you make and document them cause you will forget a lot of things during this time.

Before you even move do the google and find the names of doctors and pick out the ones that sound like a possible and call and ask to talk to the manager of the clinic or the nurse. Ask questions about what type of patients the doctor sees, does he take on autoimmune patients, etc. This will save you so much time. Once you find your primary doctor and get records done up that you can carry with you this new doctor can refer you to the other specialists.

Do not have the doctors records faxed or mailed to the doctor. Take the records with you and when you have met with the doctor and see how you get along, etc., then you can give him the records. If you give them to the new doctor and don't like him you may be forced to have new records made and this can get spendy.

That is it that I can think of.  Just start early and have help if you can. It is stressful but think of it as a project that needs to be done. Throw out as much as you can and don't look back. Good luck. Irish
« Last Edit: February 27, 2017, 08:16:09 PM by irish »

Nomad

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Re: Moving advice/thoughts
« Reply #5 on: February 27, 2017, 02:05:48 PM »
Thank you Irish and Carebear!!! Incredibly good advice!
« Last Edit: February 27, 2017, 07:22:45 PM by Nomad »
SLE, Sj.  Syndrome, IC, Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia, ITP (low platelets)... Various meds and lots of vitamins. Trying to eat healthy; seems to help a little.

Nomad

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Re: Moving advice/thoughts
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2017, 05:03:21 PM »
Well, hubby said it would happen and it did.

I was nervous because we bought our new home prior to selling our old. This was because we found exactly what we were looking for at a good price.

But, that just added to the stress.

But, knock on wood, we have a solid offer, with two deposits after a good inspection, from a buyer.

The stress has lessoned. Thank goodness!!! :)

We only want to take 50% of our furniture and I called someone who does estate sales and she said that our home was borderline too small to begin with, but if I'm taking half the stuff with me, then there just isn't enough to do an "estate sale."

So, what did you do with all your old furniture etc.? Did you take everything with you when you moved? Keep some, donate some? Any ideas on that particular thing?

We've already started slowly getting rid of things...goodwill and the dump. But...there is furniture...

I wish sometimes I had the FAITH  and optimism of my husband...I'm working on it.
« Last Edit: May 02, 2017, 05:05:25 PM by Nomad »
SLE, Sj.  Syndrome, IC, Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia, ITP (low platelets)... Various meds and lots of vitamins. Trying to eat healthy; seems to help a little.

Carebear

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Re: Moving advice/thoughts
« Reply #7 on: May 02, 2017, 05:33:37 PM »
Congratulations!  Everything always works out the way it needs to, doesn't it?  Whether we get in the way of fate or not. 

We moved one month ago, into or brand new home.  So it's still very fresh for me, Nomad.

We sold everything we did not need prior to moving.  If we didn't need it or we had no room for it, it was gone.  It all went rather easily on Kijiji which is like your Craigslist.  We posted a half dozen things at a time so that we were not overwhelmed and were very careful with our meetings with strangers.  The other things that were not worth anything, like mattresses and all the other "stuff", were donated.  And in many cases, the charities even picked them up.  And the children took some things although honestly they didn't take much old stuff from their mother.

I'm still not settled emotionally but this will take time. There is a lot that needs to be finished outside but thankfully we don't need to do anything because it is a condo.  Trust that things will work out as they should.
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quietdynamics

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Re: Moving advice/thoughts
« Reply #8 on: May 09, 2017, 08:49:40 AM »

If part of the reason for the move is career/business related can you deduct moving costs on next years taxes?

You could advertise your own weekend sale to get rid of 'stuff'. And on Sunday mark down to get rid of.  Then call charities who will come with a truck and take what they can sell. Charities cannot take all things.

When I sold my parents home, I had buyers (young couple with children) do a walk thru and tell me what they wanted. Some of the paints and chemicals in garage, garden tools, etc. buyers wanted. Those would have needed to be disposed of according to Township.

Movers, my take is best to pay movers who will pack what you want to take. And put furniture and boxes in rooms of new home (as marked).
We hired a  U-Haul (WITH the load ramp) for some items from parents home.. and honestly moving boxes was not good for us.. and 3 yrs later some are still cluttered in garage. As far as furniture I only took one day bed which was new. Son wanted grandfather clock (an albatross and a bear to move) but, he use to help wind it as a child. 

Best to you and husband with your move.




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Nomad

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Re: Moving advice/thoughts
« Reply #9 on: June 23, 2017, 12:05:32 PM »
Thank you everyone for your very good advice.
We've been in the new house perhaps two weeks.
We are mostly unpacked.
We are missing some furniture. We sold or gave away a lot at our original location.
Replaced some.
I've been having some very very very bad issues of fatigue.
Some days have been down right scarey.
Another thing of a bit of concern is it takes three months to see a rheumatologist here. Weird.
I have a good GP....but the very weird thing is she is very rushed.
I like her, but I might have to rethink this.
But,overall, things are ok.

Did you experience extraordinary fatigue? How long did it last? What helped? Rests and sleeping in until 12 are only helping slightly. I mean this is big time fatigue.

Thank you.
SLE, Sj.  Syndrome, IC, Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia, ITP (low platelets)... Various meds and lots of vitamins. Trying to eat healthy; seems to help a little.

irish

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Re: Moving advice/thoughts
« Reply #10 on: June 26, 2017, 03:09:50 PM »
Nomad, I know what you mean as I moved 1 1/2 years ago and the move itself was very stressful in spite of only moving 4 miles. The day isn't long enough to explain all the extenuating circumstances that took place with this move.

Anyway, I had such bad fatigue and I had to be so careful because of my Myasthenia gravis which can affect breathing if it gets bad. I have to tell you that I sat so much for months and have been run down and different since. I had too many health occurrences also. I made the nmove after my hubby passed away so I think that really did a job on me. The fact that you and hubby did then move together will probably help you a lot.

I will add that if you don't improve in the amount of time you would expect, I would advise you to see a doctor and hopefully get some prednisone in a lower dose burst and taper to see if this will improve your status. I know you have moved and had to change doctors so you may even have to go to a bigger hospital ER to get checked out. This way you might get the name of someone that might be a good doctor choice for you. I wish you luck in recovering. It sure is the pits the way we get wiped out. Every time one of my boys got married I ended up having to go on a Medrol pack and missed work for about 4 days. I had so much fun it almost killed me and I do't even drink. I always tell my immunologist that even good fun takes me down.Irish