My husband didn't get it at all. I have tried an tried and now he somehow seems to get it. I hope... It hasn't been long still.
I think it's quite normal for the other party to be a bit thick headed on this - and we also need to give them some patience.
How long have you had the diagnose?
I got my diagnose this summer, but I had pretty much accepted the fact long before. So I was tuned in on it. My husband on the other hand refused to listen to anything about any ilness (after a couple of false suspicions before Sjogren's - you all know the path to diagnose).
So I somehow had half a year of acceptance ahead of him.
So the first half year he was an bum. I can somehow understand him - 5 years ago he married a young, healthy and active woman, and now he's stuck with this! Plus a 4-year old that he is currently taking care of almost alone plus that sick, crancky and frigid wife. That is a bummer!
I mean - this is not just a life changer for me, but also for him. So I have tried to be a bit more understanding. But also more demanding. He kept saying that he didn't understand all the words I said, and that he couldn't read it and... bullshit... He's an highly trained academic with a masters degree. Ofcourse he can read some links on the internet about Sjogren's.
So I made him do that, it's easier for him to understand, when it's not me telling him, but medicine stuff he can read.
And we have talked. A LOT! We have spent some quality time together, I have been quite specific about what kind of support I need from him, and he has been allowed to say out loud that he also thinks it sucks.
And I am also in the process of getting some couples councelling for us. I have been very close to packing up and leaving this last 6 months (good thing that I have been too tired to actually packing). That very loving, supporting, caring and giving spouse from the movies when you get sick - that is not a given.