Author Topic: Lost my sister and am in a flare  (Read 6555 times)

rudytudy

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Re: Lost my sister and am in a flare
« Reply #15 on: May 16, 2012, 05:17:18 AM »
I'm so sorry for your loss.  You're in my prayers.
Everyone grieves differently as I've learned.  Be as patient as you can with others as
you all deal with this.  Most importantly take care of yourself for you and your children.
God bless.
female, 57
Lupus, SJS
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cargillwitch

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Re: Lost my sister and am in a flare
« Reply #16 on: May 16, 2012, 06:00:40 AM »
you must be in shock with two deaths so close to your inner circle in such a short span of time.

Hug your babies ,and do take as good care of yourself as you can for them (as well as yourself.)

So very sorry for your loss.
47 female, Sjogrens ,Raynauds,degenerative disc disease.Rheumatoid Arthritis, gastroparesis.

Skylar

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Re: Lost my sister and am in a flare
« Reply #17 on: May 16, 2012, 06:46:31 AM »
I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your sister, very sad indeed. My sympathy to both you and your family - suicide in a young person is always so difficult to comprehend.

Carolina

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Re: Lost my sister and am in a flare
« Reply #18 on: May 16, 2012, 06:56:15 AM »
Oh dearest 4kids,

You lost your sister in such a painful and tragic way, and nothing can ever make it right or easier.

I agree with you that the right medications could ease some of the inflammation that makes all the pain you suffer.   

Take good care of yourself, please.

Gentle hugs,

Elaine
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MissyLouWho?

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Re: Lost my sister and am in a flare
« Reply #19 on: May 16, 2012, 07:02:00 AM »
I am so sorry for your loss.  What a devastating tragedy.  You are going through a ton of emotions, I'm sure.  It's normal to be angry at your sister for living the lifestyle she chose and angry at the people who are trying to make her sound like someone she wasn't.  I think people tend to try to remember those that die in a better light for themselves, not the person who passed.  It's a coping strategy for them I think.  You really need to talk out your feelings and get it all off your chest.  It doesn't have to be a professional, talk to your family or friends.  Just talk about it.

We don't always know why people do things they do and make the choices they do.  But they all have their own reasons.  One thing for sure is that I know even if you are frustrated at the moment by the whole situation, you love her very much.  Maybe after you talk it all out with someone, you can get past all the bad stuff and focus on the good stuff.  I hope you find peace soon.  And I hope you feel better soon with your flare.  I know for me, my emotions are amplified when I'm in a flare, and with you already being in an emotional situation, I'm sure it's way worse.  Please make sure you eat and stay hydrated so the flare doesn't get even worse.  I know eating and drinking isn't something you're thinking about right now, but I don't want you to get worse.  I send you many hugs, inner peace and positive thoughts. 

gardenlover

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Re: Lost my sister and am in a flare
« Reply #20 on: May 16, 2012, 07:09:36 AM »
With greatest sympathy to you and your family & friends,
Sending a prayer and comforting thoughts your way...

gold55

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Re: Lost my sister and am in a flare
« Reply #21 on: May 16, 2012, 07:28:31 AM »
so very sorry for the loss of your sister.  my prayers are with you.
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4Kids

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Re: Lost my sister and am in a flare
« Reply #22 on: May 16, 2012, 07:29:31 AM »
Thank you all so much, from the bottom of my heart.  Today is a bit better so far.

One thing to point out is it wasn't suicide. She just couldn't quit. She had been taken out of my mother's will for this reason but the lawyer missed removing her from one rrsp which we just got in April as we waited until it matured.

And especially thank you for pointing out various reasons why my family is acting the way they are. That is very valid and I didn't think of a lot of those, well mostly any of those other than just trying to make all that stuff not exist. I am still very worked up after my Mom's passing and funeral. Her funeral was a very complicated thing--she ran a centre for first nations and metis families and high risk children. She did a lot of work for residential school survivors--she was a counsellor for ptsd as well. She wanted drums and dancing and a prayer and in particular I had one aunt who did not want that "for my gramma" and so I had to very carefully work this dance because my Mom asked for what she wanted, and that is what she got. It seems crazy maybe typing this out but I feel the funeral should suit the person as well as comfort the living.

All was well with my grief until they told me the service was done by a certain demoninational minister--and it is my Gramma's church which no one else attends. Esp my sister, she hated that stuff.  However, in a small town only so many are available to do these services which are held outside an actual church and this is what we get I guess.

My dad is not doing well.  He has a lot of guilt over my sister. Intervention style... It is hard to talk to him but he tried yesterday but it didn't go so well, we just both were crying and he offered to change everything which is very difficult. I have nothing for him to change it to.

And my other family members are who they are.  I miss my Mom so bad it hurts. She was completely different than everyone else. Well except my sister but my Mom was not an addict, she was wonderful. After her funeral a man who could hardly talk from substance abuse damage came up to me and said that this was his second year sober because of her.  I have wonderful friends and probably will chat it out with them when I see them.

But thank you all for listening. So much.
Plaquinel, Restasis, Salagen, Arthrotec, Cod Liver Oil, B Vitamins, Palafer-C, Plaquinel, Metformin, Spironlactone, Biotin

irish

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Re: Lost my sister and am in a flare
« Reply #23 on: May 16, 2012, 01:36:55 PM »
Dear 4kids, She was your sister. You grew up together and had a lot of connection there in spite of any problems. I am so sorry that she passed away. People are not always very nice---especially in situations like these. They forget that it could well be one of their family.

I hope that you can get your autoimmune under control. If you can't call the doc and don't try to be a hero. This is just one of those times when the emotions will be running rampant and you know that it will keep your immune system on edge for a long time.

Know that we are all thinking of you and sending up prayers. Hopefully there will be others at the funeral that will share in all the good memories to be had of your sister. We all travel through this life and touch someone else in a positive way. I would bet you will hear a lot of good about your sister in the coming days. Cherish these memories and hold them close. God Bless you as you go through the funeral and family interactions. Irish ;D

4Kids

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Re: Lost my sister and am in a flare
« Reply #24 on: May 16, 2012, 03:28:36 PM »
He gave me 40mg pred a day for five days and only to use if I need it.

Love my GP but that is pretty hot and heavy. What is a good real dose? He said I do not need a burst and taper. I do not think I am comfortable over 10 mg and that is quite a lot imo.
Plaquinel, Restasis, Salagen, Arthrotec, Cod Liver Oil, B Vitamins, Palafer-C, Plaquinel, Metformin, Spironlactone, Biotin

jazzlover

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Re: Lost my sister and am in a flare
« Reply #25 on: May 16, 2012, 04:32:33 PM »
I'm very very sorry, 4kids. I pray you will find peace. And I do hope you begin feeling better from the physical trauma. OUCH!

Prayers for healing in all areas!
Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS), Salicylate Sensitivity,  Interstitial Cystitis,  gluten intolerance, Raynaud's, Sjogren's, A-fib; cytomegalovirus, recovered from Lyme disease

Cricket

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Re: Lost my sister and am in a flare
« Reply #26 on: May 16, 2012, 05:31:00 PM »
So sorry for your loss!
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Ceceraven

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Re: Lost my sister and am in a flare
« Reply #27 on: May 16, 2012, 06:19:29 PM »

       Dearest 4Kids,  My deepest sympathy.  Be especially kind to yourself.



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slccom

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Re: Lost my sister and am in a flare
« Reply #28 on: May 16, 2012, 06:35:14 PM »
I am so sorry! I found a great book, A lethal inheritance : a mother uncovers the science behind three generations of mental illness   / Costello, Victoria, which might help you process what your sister went through. Her brain was damaged, and she probably did the best she could with what she had to work with. That doesn't mean the rest of the family didn't suffer as well, of course. I'm sure she loved you the best she was able to.

Hang in there, and feel better soon. Hugs, Sharon

jazzlover

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Re: Lost my sister and am in a flare
« Reply #29 on: May 16, 2012, 06:43:25 PM »
Speaking of books... for strength and comfort, get a copy of "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. She has a chronic illness and you can tell she has been thru it. It is a devotional that is like Jesus talking to you.
Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS), Salicylate Sensitivity,  Interstitial Cystitis,  gluten intolerance, Raynaud's, Sjogren's, A-fib; cytomegalovirus, recovered from Lyme disease