Author Topic: 2012 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . .  (Read 15097 times)

Bucky

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Re: 2012 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . .
« Reply #30 on: August 15, 2012, 02:59:51 PM »
A sign I saw yesterday:

"My husband and I are doing a Workshop.
  He works . . . and I shop!"


That sounds good to me!!   ;D
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Bucky

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Re: 2012 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . .
« Reply #31 on: August 16, 2012, 02:48:54 PM »
Another sign I saw:

"I'm in shape . . . round is a shape, isn't it?"

 ;D
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Bucky

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Re: 2012 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . .
« Reply #32 on: October 06, 2012, 06:20:38 PM »
This is an older post of mine from the 2010 Laughter thread, but I came across it, and laughed again, so here it is again . . . . . (good thing with brain fog, we can laugh about the same things over and over!!  ;))

       
Female Reindeer

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game,
while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year,
male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter,
usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer,
every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen - had to be female.

We should've known.

Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all
around the world in one night and not get lost.

  ;D
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susanep

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Re: 2012 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . .
« Reply #33 on: October 08, 2012, 01:21:07 AM »
Hey, I laughed!  8)

susanep
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Texasgranny

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Re: 2012 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . .
« Reply #34 on: October 08, 2012, 07:57:30 AM »
I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her young daughter said, "You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost."
Texasgranny

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Re: 2012 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . .
« Reply #35 on: October 08, 2012, 08:02:45 AM »
The DVD player had conked out and we weren't able to watch the movie we'd rented. Then my husband had a brilliant idea: "Why don't we use the PlayStation?" We pushed all the buttons, but couldn't get it to work, so we gave up and went upstairs. We were reading in bed when our 17-year-old son appeared in our doorway.
"Someone left a DVD in my PlayStation," he said.
"We were trying to watch a movie on it," my husband admitted, "but we couldn't get past the parental control screen."
"What a shame," our son said as he smiled and closed the door.

Texasgranny

Texasgranny

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Re: 2012 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . .
« Reply #36 on: October 08, 2012, 08:35:35 AM »
One of my favorite posters:

The floggings shall continue until morale and enthusiasm improve.

Texasgranny

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Re: 2012 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . .
« Reply #37 on: October 08, 2012, 08:40:33 AM »
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I sudenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better ... I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me ...
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

... and how was your day?

Texasgranny

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Re: 2012 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . .
« Reply #38 on: October 08, 2012, 08:43:10 AM »
On my birthday I got a really funny card from a friend. It joked about how our bodies might be getting older, but our minds were still "tarp as shacks." I wanted to thank the friend who sent the card, but I couldn't. She forgot to sign it.

Texasgranny

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Re: 2012 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . .
« Reply #39 on: October 08, 2012, 08:47:30 AM »
A policeman at a train station noticed a lady bowed over the steering wheel of her car in discomfort. He walked over and asked if she was all right.
Half crying and half laughing, the said, "For ten years I've driven my husband to catch his train. This morning I forgot him!"

Texasgranny

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Re: 2012 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . .
« Reply #40 on: October 08, 2012, 08:48:33 AM »
Printed on the back of a leather jacket worn by a motorcyclist: "If you can read this, my girlfriend fell off."

Texasgranny

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Re: 2012 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . .
« Reply #41 on: October 08, 2012, 08:53:04 AM »
At the police station, Bubba explaied to the police officer why his cousin shot him. "Well," Bubba began, "we was havin' a good time drinking when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey, do ya fellows wanna go hunting?'
"And then what happened?" the officer interrupted.
"From what I remember," Bubba said, "I stood up and said, 'I'm game.'"

Texasgranny

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Re: 2012 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . .
« Reply #42 on: October 08, 2012, 08:58:41 AM »
Some of my favorite signs:

In a non-smoking area -- "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action."

In the front yard of a funeral home -- "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

Outside a muffler shop -- "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

On an electrician's truck -- "Let us remove your shorts."

Texasgranny

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Re: 2012 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . .
« Reply #43 on: October 08, 2012, 09:03:28 AM »
Some of my grandkids favorites:

Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
     Because it scares the dog.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
     Anyone can roast beef.

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
     Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
     Tame way, unique up on it.

Texasgranny

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Re: 2012 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . . .
« Reply #44 on: October 08, 2012, 09:10:27 AM »
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?"
She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?