Author Topic: stressfully sick  (Read 4942 times)

Meld256

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Re: stressfully sick
« Reply #15 on: October 19, 2011, 03:51:56 AM »
Jozee,

I am SO happy for you!!  ;D :D 8)  It sounds perfect!  A garage, a back yard for your dear little doggies, and a garden area.  Awesome...AND a washer and dryer!  Not to mention that 2nd bedroom that can be your office.

I guess you noticed that I've been concerned for you. I think you will feel so much less stress now, that you will start feeling better physically.   Thank goodness you found a place.

I hope you have a little celebration for yourself when you move.  ;) Here's to more joy and peace in your life.
Melinda

Jozee

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Re: stressfully sick
« Reply #16 on: October 19, 2011, 06:35:38 AM »
Thanks Melinda and all - I've been concerned for me too but all you you on this board make it so much easier. I feel bad for those who've not found us all yet. Just having this board to go to for reading, researching and friendship makes such a big difference. It can't help our physical pain but mentally it's priceless.

I will keep you all posted on how it goes with the move and everything else. Pretty sure that even tho I only have a small amount of stuff I'm taking I will rent a uhaul. Less trips and only have to be here once with my husband while leading my stuff. That's going to be awkward so hopefully a uhaul will make it easier. I have people to help move and if they back out I have employees I can pay to do it. Don't like to mix work with personal but whatever it takes to get this done quickly I will!!

Gosh, I love you all! Thank you!

Bucky

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Re: stressfully sick
« Reply #17 on: October 19, 2011, 07:10:46 AM »
Jozee - congratulations on finding a new apartment. 

Regarding stress:::I had no idea how tight my chest was today until after I received the call that they chose me to rent their apartment. Once I heard those words I swear I felt a ton of bricks lifted off my chest. I just started crying tears of joy! I felt like I could breathe again.

I know the times that I've been under a lot of stress and feeling like there was a boulder sitting on my shoulders, once I made a decision about the situation at hand, I could feel the weight lift off my shoulders.  It's a great feeling!!

I wish you much happiness in your new apartment - it sounds perfect for your needs.  Also, you should be commended for having the courage to deal with the situation with your husband and decide for yourself, that you were going to get out of that toxic situation and take care of YOU.  That's not to say it will be easy for you - but, I think you're taking the right steps.  (((Jozee)))

On a side note, it might not be a bad idea to get a crate for your girls for a little while until they get used to their new home.

I am looking forward to my new life. I see a lot less stress happening and a whole lot more smiling going on.

 :)   :D   ;D   :)   :D   ;D   :)   :D   ;D

Bucky
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Bucky

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Re: stressfully sick
« Reply #18 on: October 19, 2011, 07:26:53 AM »
Jozee - another thing I was thinking about . . . don't forget to put in a change of address with the Post Office.  Also, I would get your own bank account, if you don't already have one.

I don't know if you have your own credit cards or not - but, I'd be careful if you have joint accounts.  Your hubby could go on a spending spree and then expect you to foot the bill.  Or, the bill come to where he's living and he not pay it, it could cause you a lot of problems with your credit, etc.

I know our bills for utilities, phone, insurance, etc. come addressed to both Mr. and Mrs.  You might want to contact the companies that have both your names on the account and have your name taken off.  Then, the bills would be your husbands responsibility and not yours.  Same with any car loans you might have.

Anything that has your name attached to it, make sure you get the bills at your new apartment, so the bills aren't sitting somewhere in limbo.

Good Luck.

Bucky
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Jozee

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Re: stressfully sick
« Reply #19 on: October 19, 2011, 07:31:59 AM »
I will be moving Thursday during the day. While I'm moving my dogs will be here at the old house. It should only take one trip to move then I will come right back and get them. I work from home mostly but I will be taking Thursday, Friday off then the weekend I don't work so they will be good and comfortable before I have to leave them for any length of time.

My littlest one loves her crate. She gets in it by herself at night! The other one is older and wants no part of it but she has done real well each time we've moved. I think we have a good plan.

Thanks Bucky! I've never been one to stick around for bad treatment. In fact, I usually leave at the first sign of unhappiness. I've always been a "leaver" as my counselor calls me. But in this marriage I truly tried to make it work. I realized there are some issues worth working on and we did good working on those. The drinking and drugs are issues I won't stand for and he won't work on them so I am comfortable with my choice to go now. I'm not being a "leaver" this time. I'm being smart!

Jozee

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Re: stressfully sick
« Reply #20 on: October 19, 2011, 07:42:05 AM »
I did all the bank stuff already, new PO Box, all of it. We have no credit cards or loans together except the house and he has to refinance in order to get my name off.  Other than that I have all my bases covered.

You might be able to tell now that this isn't my first time at the rodeo but it certainly is going to be my LAST!!

theosof

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Re: stressfully sick
« Reply #21 on: October 19, 2011, 08:42:29 AM »
Great news!!!!! Once you are settled and can concentrate on yourself and the girls you will feel so much better. Being alone definitely has its rewards. Relax and take care. Stress hits our weakest areas and our whole bodies are our weakest points so it will set up a flare situation. Good luck with the new place- sounds wonderful. Give us an update.   ;D

theosof

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Re: stressfully sick
« Reply #22 on: October 19, 2011, 08:44:42 AM »
Great news!!! Once you are settled concentrate on yourself and the girls. Aloneness can be a blessing. Stress is said to hit your weakness areas- for us that is all over!. Good luck and keep us updated.      ;D

Meld256

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Re: stressfully sick
« Reply #23 on: October 20, 2011, 07:07:28 PM »
Hope your moving day has not worn you out, Jozee, and the joy of relaxing in your new home will help you rest up!  A place for your new chair and footstool, right?  ;) 

I can understand how hard these kinds of decisions are and I admire you for being strong. I was just thinking we both found this site about one year ago.  Seems like we have both come a long way in that time!

The last year for me has been quite a journey. I'm just glad you and all the others here have helped me through it so well. 
Wishing you more joy and peace,
Melinda

smallfry

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Re: stressfully sick
« Reply #24 on: November 07, 2011, 07:19:04 PM »
Hi Jozee

It's been a few weeks now and you have been in my thoughts today.
I was just wondering how you and the girls have been getting on in your new home?

Regards
Cheryl

irish

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Re: stressfully sick
« Reply #25 on: November 07, 2011, 09:45:46 PM »
I just got back on this thread to see how everything played out. Sounds like you "did good". Things happen in life and you just have to take the bull by the horns and you sure did.

Wish I could see your apartment. There is something exciting (hard work yes) about moving and fixing up a new home. We women like to "nest" and settle in. HOpe all goes well now. It is amazing that you got all those important things that will make your life easier. The garage and washer and dryer, for sure, will make life easier for you. YOu won't have to drag clothes in the cold weather and you won't have to get up early to scrape the windshield. Good luck. girl. Irish ;D ;D

Meld256

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Re: stressfully sick
« Reply #26 on: November 07, 2011, 11:43:37 PM »
Jozee,

I've wondered about you, too, and if you were able to complete your move.  I hope that if you did, it didn't send you into pain and fatigue.

Please give us an update when you have a chance, ok? Many of us care about you. :)
Melinda

Doxie

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Re: stressfully sick
« Reply #27 on: November 10, 2011, 11:20:55 AM »
Jozee, I'm so glad you found a place. I hope the move went ok, and that you are doing well. What kind of little dogs do you have?  It sounds like you love them tons. Take care of yourself!

Carolina

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Re: stressfully sick
« Reply #28 on: November 10, 2011, 11:53:40 AM »
Yay Jozee,

Even doing the RIGHT thing can be so stressful.

And a new puppy is enormous stress.   Especially a big one scaring your little ones.

Jeez, talk about adding to your stress.

But you're on your way.........

Thinking of you.

Hugs

Elaine
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Jozee

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Re: stressfully sick
« Reply #29 on: November 10, 2011, 10:00:15 PM »
Hi All!!!

Thanks for the well wishes. I was going to post an update sooner but I wasn't sure if it would need to be under the other thing where it's just news about your day and welcoming people. Plus I figured everyone probably just gets on with their lives and forgot about it. I didn't want to bore you all. But MY GOSH!! You all are such wonderful friends! Even better than my "real life" friends! Thank you so much for checking back in with me! I will try to make all the long stories short......

My duplex is fantastic! I love it here. It's not an apartment not a house so being a duplex helps me to feel like I live alone yet I still have neighbors close by. They are 4 college kids who are really nice and quiet.

My dogs love it here. So peaceful for them away from that other dog. Someone asked what kind of dogs I have. One is part Long Hair Chihuahua and Pomeranian. The other is Short Hair Chihuahua and Cockapoo. And yes I love my animals so much. Having both my children die as infants, I think I tend to baby my pets as if they were human. Maybe we all do that tho. 

When I moved my friends from work (we are all in sales) snuck over to my house and loaded up my uhaul, drove it here and unloaded it. Then that night I had to work and another friend stayed with my dogs since it was the first night here. While I was working she unpacked my entire house for me!! What a huge blessing. Some of them that helped I wasn't even really that good of friends with.

The first few nights were good. My husband didn't bother me. Then he started calling to work on things but each time it ended in him yelling at me or hanging up on me. I finally decided I didn't need to answer his calls or respond to his texts. That worked well for about a week.

Then last night he texts that he wants me to come get my cat right now or he;s throwing her outside. My landlord won't allow a cat here. I offered to pay a $200 NON refundable deposit and she still said no. My cat is 6 yrs old and de-clawed. She's never been outside. I think the landlord may have had a bad experience with a tenant and a cat or something. Anyway...I couldn't let him throw her outside!! So I called the landlord crying and she said I could go get her and keep her here until Monday. After that she has to go.

As soon as I got her here and opened her cage to let her out my little dogs did flips and rolled around on the floor and started licking my cats face!! The cat was purring and rubbing against them. She was so happy to be here and away from my husbands dog that kept chasing her. She didn't even act afraid like cats do when they are moved to a new house. She loves it here!! I am so sad tho that I only have 4 days to find her a home or she has to go to the animal shelter. She is such a loving lap cat and very timid tho. She will be so scared out there in a cage for weeks until someone chooses her. If they even do. It makes me cry every time I think about it. I can't think about it. I wasn't too mad at my husband until he did this. Now I hate him. This will be the second time he has made it to where I had to take my cats to the shelter.

I've asked all my friends to post it on facebook that I'm looking for a home for her. I have posters up too. I am so sick about it. If this wasn't happening all would be great.

 I'm sure he is doing this to get back at me for not taking his calls but they were upsetting to me. My counselor said that before I have any contact or do anything with him to ask myself "what will this cost me?"  Answering his calls cost me a lot. It costs my happy mood, my serenity, and so much more. Even answering a text means he will text back and forth and it will end with him calling and screaming. I refuse to pay that price!!

I know a cat or dog is an animal and not human but I think we all love them the same. To think of my cat in a cage out there makes me so sad. And what if nobody selects her???? I can't bear the thought.  Please pray that I find her a good home. I have 4 days left.

Thank you all so much for your friendship. I love you all and appreciate so much the fact that you searched it out to ask how it is going.

Oh...one more good thing. I made spaghetti the way "I" like it!!! That is the first time in 8 years I didn't have to pick mushrooms and olives out of it!!!  What a joy!!