Author Topic: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .  (Read 30186 times)

jpd54

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #30 on: February 17, 2011, 02:33:34 PM »
I saw this today and thought it was cute!!!


"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like and do what you'd druther not." 
Mark Twain

Been there, done that!  Haha

   jpd
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Bucky

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #31 on: February 28, 2011, 11:34:02 AM »
Martha's Way vs My Way  (taken from my files)

Martha's way #1:  Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

My way:  Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

                                                   ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Martha's way #2:  Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.

My way:  Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds.

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dbab

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #32 on: March 01, 2011, 07:09:19 AM »
Love it Bucky  :D You are such a breath of fresh air  ;D

Bucky

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #33 on: March 02, 2011, 01:17:19 PM »
(Taken from my files . . . . )

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea - does that mean that one enjoys it?!?

                                             ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(this one is not meant to offend anyone, but I thought it was cute)

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use?  Toothpicks?
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Linda196

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #34 on: March 03, 2011, 05:29:09 AM »
As you know, I'm a Canuck, so I thought I'd share something sent to me by a friend;

98% of Canadians say "Oh Shoot" when they hit an icy patch on the road and slide into the ditch........the other 2% are from Newdoundland and say "hang onto my Timmies and WATCH THIS!"

(for non-Canucks; Timmies refers to our national coffee chain, Tim Horton's, and means any of their hot beverages)
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Bucky

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #35 on: March 04, 2011, 06:05:45 AM »
Cute one Linda.   :D


More Ponderisms . . . .

What happened to Preparations A through G?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?
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Scottietottie

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #36 on: March 04, 2011, 09:32:44 AM »
I guess they went down the pan!  ;D
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Bucky

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #37 on: March 05, 2011, 01:11:00 PM »
Martha's Way vs My Way (taken from my files)

Martha's Way #6

To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stovetop.

My way:  Eat at Chili's every night and avoid cooking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Martha's Way #8

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

My way:  Go to the bakery.  They'll even decorate it for you.


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Pisces24

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #38 on: March 06, 2011, 08:15:45 AM »
I got a thing about commercials. I don't think some advertisers really think things through.

Remember Juan Valdez's coffee.  He is waaaay up in the South American mountains, just him and the donkey. Working in the coffee fields and probably drinking A LOT OF COFFEE.   Think about it?  Where do you think that Mountain Grown Flavor comes from?  ;) :D ;D

Bucky

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #39 on: March 07, 2011, 12:59:45 PM »
You can pick any color hair you want for this little ditty, but for purposes here, I will pick blonde.   ;)

BLONDE HORSEBACK RIDER

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons, nor prior experience.  She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion.  It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slide from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.  She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the horse's side anyway.  The horse gallops along seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.  Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune . . . Frank, the Walmart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.

And you thought all they did was say Hello.

 ;D  :D  ;D
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Bucky

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #40 on: March 15, 2011, 06:16:01 AM »
Martha's Way vs My Way (taken from my files)

Martha's Way #19:  Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer.

*  Clean a toilet.  Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush.  The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china.

*  Clean a vase.  To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets.

*  Polish jewelry.  Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.

*  Clean a thermos bottle.  Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).

My way:  Put your jewelry, vases, and thermos in the toilet.  Add some Alka-Seltzer and you have solved a whole bunch of problems at once.

 ;D   ;D   ;D

Oops . . . gotta run, my computer time is up for right now (new challenge).  What better way to spend my computer time than with a smile or laughter.   :D Have a good day.

Bucky
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dainbramage

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #41 on: March 15, 2011, 06:22:45 AM »
I guess we have been using this threat to my daughter too many times (we don't use it on her just use it to keep her from overly acting up), "Anna if you don't stop I am going to get the wooden spoon". One day Daddy was picking on her and she ran to me and said, "Mommy, Daddy is being bad, get your wooden spoon and spank him." Thank goodness we were home and not in public. :o

Katybarstool

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #42 on: March 15, 2011, 01:05:20 PM »
That made me laugh. When my kids were little, our wooden spoon was known as 'the bum smacker' - never used, but regularly threatened. Anyway, one day at nursery, son number one was reading a kiddies recipe book, when he was asked to read the name for the wooden spoon, he smiled and said very confidently - 'that's the bum smacker! Gosh, was I embarrassed!

Kathyx   

hootyhu1

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #43 on: March 15, 2011, 06:30:55 PM »
These really are cute! Mine isn't a joke but a chuckle none the less.

My daughter who is 18 months and just learning to talk was with us on a car ride.  We were driving around and I heard "Doggie, Doggie!!!!" I looked and saw the cattle, I said, "No, Honey those are cows." "do you know what sound they make?" she replies, "oink, oink!!!!!"
-Got to love it!

Daisy1234

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #44 on: March 19, 2011, 05:43:30 PM »
When I was a young minister, a funeral director asked me to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a cemetery way out in the country. This was a new cemetery and this man was the first to be laid to rest there.

I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of course, I did not ask for directions. I finally found the cemetery about an hour late. The back hoe was there and the crew was eating their lunch. The hearse was nowhere to be seen.

I apologized to the workers for being late. As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. I told the workers I would not keep them long, but that this was the proper thing to do. The workers, still eating their lunch, gathered around the opening.

I was young and enthusiastic and poured out my heart and soul as I preached. The workers joined in with, "Praise the Lord," "Amen," and "Glory!" I got so into the service that I preached and preached and preached, from Genesis to The Revelation.

When the service was over, I said a prayer and walked to my car. As I opened the door, I heard one of the workers say to another, "I've never seen anything like that before and I've been putting in septic systems for twenty years."    :D