Author Topic: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .  (Read 30201 times)

Bucky

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2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« on: February 07, 2011, 04:11:20 PM »
Back in 2009, I had a thread about "Laughter is the Best Medicine" . . . . since it is many, many pages long and from over a year old, I thought I'd start a new one.

I really think that laughter is important.  Something to cheer us up and bring a smile to our face.

So let the laughter begin . . . . .

This was in my files that someone sent to me, but I don't have an "author":

" She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before.  After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"  I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As a young girl, I DO remember my mother doing this too.

Bucky




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CAT1962

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2011, 05:25:54 PM »
Bucky!  ;D Thank you! Here is one of my faves...from a Reader's Digest in the '70s! LOL

A senator went to speak at Native American Reservation. "I will make sure that you have every resource available to you!" he said. The excited crowd of Native Americans yelled, "HOYA! HOYA!"

The Senator spoke again, pounding on the podium, "AND, I will make sure that this land stays YOUR property!". Again, the crowd Yelled, "HOYA HOYA!"

The Senator went on further promising land, food, rights, etc. And again and again the crowd yelled, "HOYA! HOYA!"

After the speech, the Chief of the tribe took the Senator out to see the land, and to observe the cattle. When they reached the pasture the Chief said, "OH. Be careful not to step in the hoya!"


 ;D ;D ;D

CAT1962

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2011, 05:46:05 PM »
Also, the joke I posted was in LITBM section of RD! ;)

Bucky

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2011, 08:49:15 AM »
"After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.

As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.

Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.

As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

 ;D
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dreamBIG

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2011, 10:08:44 AM »
My cousin sent me an email this morning saying that if you can't afford doctor's visits, you should go to the airport where you get a free xray and mammogram.  Oh, and if you mention Al Queda, they'll throw in a colonoscopy!  ;D

CAT1962

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2011, 10:15:02 AM »
HAHA! You 2 are so funny.  ;D

C'mon, people...step up to the mic. ;)

Liz D.

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2011, 10:50:08 AM »
Here is one of my favorites:

A man is stranded on a desert island and finds a genie bottle.  He opens it and is greeted by a genie who offers him three wishes of his choosing.  The only thing is that whatever he chooses, his mother in law will get double.

So he said, "OK."  His first wish was for a million dollars.  Poof!!  He had a million dollars in his hand and at his MIL's house was two million dollars.

Second he wished for tickets for a trip around the world.  Poof!  He had tickets in his hand and his MIL had a set of tickets at her house for two trips around the world.

The genie now says, "This is your last wish.  Choose wisely."  So the man thinks and thinks and thinks and finally comes up with his answer . . . .

. . .  "I'd like to be beaten half to death."

Liz D.
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Sooki

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #7 on: February 08, 2011, 03:56:28 PM »
OK - this arrived today:

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's down.  You will have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests.  What'll it be?"
The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains ."
"So be it," says St.. Peter, and off flies the first priest.
The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count' St. Peter?" "
"No.  I told you, the computer's down, there's no way we can keep track of what you are doing."
"In that case" says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."
"So be it" says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.
A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests..
"Will you have any trouble locating them?", He asks.
"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter.  "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles.  But the second one could prove to be more difficult."
"Why", asks the Lord
"He's on a snow tire, somewhere in Iowa"
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CAT1962

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2011, 08:51:59 AM »
I found this perfect for us!  :D


A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.

On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good.

On his third visit the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft."

"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."

"I know," said the doctor, "I can cure pneumonia."


Meld256

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2011, 09:57:53 PM »
You guys have put a big smile on my dry face today!  ;D :D I'll try to "step up to the mic", too.

Meld256

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2011, 10:25:06 PM »
This is one of my father's favorites, and my Dad is 94.  ;) From an Ann Landers column in 1966:

A Dog Named SEX

Some people name their dogs Rover or Spot. I named mine Sex. He's a great pet but caused my quite a bit of embarrassment over the years.
When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I'd like a license for Sex. He said, "Me too, buddy!" I told him this is a dog, and then I said, "But I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He told me I musta been a special kid alright.

When I got married, we took the dog on our honeymoon. I told the hotel clerk we wanted a room for the two of us and a special room for Sex. The clerk told me I didn't need a special room, and they didn't care what we did as long as the bill was paid.  I told them "Look, you don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night."  The clerk said that was funny; it happened to him, too!

I entered Sex in a competition, but he ran away before the contest. I was standing there, looking sad. I told another contestant I planned to have Sex on TV. He walked away quickly.
When my spouse and I separated, I went to court to get custody of the dog. I told the judge, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." He told me this was not a confessional and to keep my comments to the case. I told him that after I got married, Sex left me. He said, "And you were surprised by that"?  I eventually got my dog back for a while.

Last night he ran off again. I search the streets half the night, worried. I was in the alley at 4 a.m. searching for him when a police car pulled up and the officer asked me what I was doing out there. I told him I was looking for Sex.
My court case comes up on Friday.

Bucky

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #11 on: February 11, 2011, 08:02:27 AM »
A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what?  We learned how to make babies today."

The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.  "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?"

"It's simple,"  replied the little girl.  "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

 ;D
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CAT1962

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #12 on: February 11, 2011, 10:08:24 AM »
Oh, these are great. LOL I have some now to FWD to my mom. HAHA. She loves a good. joke.  ;D

I know this is old, but always makes me grin...hehehe (A word is changed...LOL)


A Native American boy approached his father one day, "Father, how did I get my name?"
His father said, "Son, I find name when looking out window.....one day I look into sky and see Eagle Flying high.
That your brother's name. Then, one day I look out and see Rabbit Running Freely.
That your sister's name............tell me....Why you ask Two Dogs Screwing?"


(I think I find that the father being so oblivious is what makes me laugh!) ;D

BobC50

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #13 on: February 11, 2011, 01:40:45 PM »
Fair enough, I'll have a go. These are from England, not sure how they will travel:

I went to the doctor. He said 'you've got a very serious illness'.
I said 'I want a second opinion'.
He said 'all right, you're ugly as well'.

I went to the doctor the other day
I said 'have you got anything for wind'
so he gave me a kite.

Sometimes I drink my whiskey neat.
Other times I take my tie off and leave my shirt out

Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

I went to the doctors. He said 'I'd like you to lie on the couch'.
I said 'What for?'
He said 'I'd like to sweep the floor'

I went to the doctors. He said 'What appears to be the problem?'.
I said 'I keep having the same dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away'.
He said 'How can I help?'.
I said 'Break my arms!'

I went to the doctor the other day,
I said 'it hurts when I do that'
he said ' well don't do it'

I went to the doctor the other day,
I said 'with all the excitement of Christmas I can't sleep''
he said ' Try lying on the edge of your bed, you'll soon drop off'

Katybarstool

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Re: 2011 - Laughter is the Best Medicine . . .
« Reply #14 on: February 11, 2011, 02:26:03 PM »
Bob

Thoe are so funny ;D

Kathyx