Author Topic: The top ten worst suggestions commonly given to someone with a chronic illness  (Read 30921 times)

DragonflyC

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Oh, Daisy, that "you'll feel better if you get off the meds" one makes me crazy. 

Today, I mentioned having been bit by a spider about twenty years ago, and my friend asked if that might be what caused my autoimmune problems.  He's sweet and is one of my most supportive friends, but it made me laugh.  I completely understand why people want to find a reason, but sometimes stuff just happens.  Oh, and my Scandanavian genes certainly don't help!

stormchaser

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 I haven't been officially diagnosed yet, but I was in pain the other day lying on the couch while visiting my grandmother and my aunt says "you don't know the meaning of pain, just wait til you get to be my age."  Yes, because age totally determines the amount of pain you feel. I wonder if she'd trying saying that to a young trauma victim or something...

ynevar

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"Just think positive!  Think healthy!"  :D

DUHHHH!  If it was that easy do you THINK????? ??? I'd be feeling like this????? >:(

season

  • Guest
This is one that I was told recently................"I am much more sick that you are."      This person has sjogrens also.

This is my question. How can someone look at someone else and determine the amount of pain someone has?

Epson

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When people tell me, you don't look sick, I always tell them that I didn't look sick when I had a golf ball sized cancerous tumor in me either.  That shuts them up.

eyeamdry

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Epson, I'll bet makes their ears burn.  I can also use that one, and will.  I can't wait until somebody says "that" to me.  heehee
Lucy

proudmom

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I hate the but you look good. The best was while I was laying on my living room floor and my brother said oh you don't feel good well you look good.

LeoLady

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Thanks for sharing Bloodless.  Made me laugh...Arf, Arf!

LeoLady

Elida

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Eeeyy...what's wrong with Scandinavian genes???  ;)

Seriously, I've herad so many sentences and suggestions about how to recover, that I might have enough to write a book about what people say to chronic ill patients. This thread made me giggle though.

My doctor actually reminded me of that last time I saw him that there are people that are worse off than me. As if I didn't know, but how does that fact help ME?

I think some people just say things just to have anything to say when they don't know what to say. Others are completely in lack of knowledge and empathy.

BonusMom

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Here are some healing crystals.  Just put them close to your heart and you'll be healed.  If it were only that easy.

LizPetillo

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EXCELLENT thread!!
Here's some of the stupid things I've been told -

1 - You look/sound healthy. 
2 - You have a bad attitude, you must WANT to be sick (my PCP told me that!)
      (being realistic = bad attitude   :-\   )
3 - God must want it for some reason, stop fighting God.
4 - You are exaggerating your illness.
5 - It's not like sjogrens is terminal or anything
     (even after being told of the very serious complications)
6 - Get off the Western meds and try the natural (untested) herbs
     (sure, like I need strange unknown herbal side effects on top of everything)
7 - You need to pray more/you don't pray enough
8 -  It all happens for a reason
9 - your response to this is wrong
     (from people who have never gone through the 5 stages of grief)
10 - So you can't eat trigger foods (grains/pasta/citrus/sugar etc.)  You are healthier for it.
      (no .. I'm not getting a balanced diet)
11 - Go ahead and eat those trigger foods, you have to be happy.
      (even two bites of bread will lay me up for 2-3 days with a flair  :-\   )
12 - So you lost 60 pounds (so far), you can buy all new clothes!!
       (I feel like crap so shopping is a chore ... and expensive)
13 - Get out of the house, you'll feel better.  Go shopping or to the beach ...
       (I'm too tired, too sore, too numb in the legs, and UV from the beach will flair me)


LizPetillo

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Oh .. and the all time worst ....
People say - you'll get better someday soon.
Even after being told that there is no cure.
There is no getting better.  Only maintain or get worse.

I know they are trying to be nice and 'cheery'  but it just reminds me that I wont' ever be better

bloodless

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Daisy, Dragonfly, I can't count the times I've been told I'd probably get better if I got off all those pills! That was good one to add to the list. I just tell them, "If you knew what I was like and what I'd be like if I went off them you wouldn't say that. Besides, I like breathing." That usually makes 'em reconsider.
I miss the good old days. Things were more like they used to be back then.

Sjogrens, Lupus, Fibro, GERD

tangowhiskie

  • Guest
My RHEUMY recently suggested to me that my severe muscle pain was due to being stressed out and overly emotional.

I about smacked him upside the head!  My low stress level has actually been welcoming recently - I've been quite happy and content.

LizPetillo

  • Guest
My RHEUMY recently suggested to me that my severe muscle pain was due to being stressed out and overly emotional.
Oh .. that's right .. thanks for reminding me ..
'you're being too emotional about this.  It's not that big of a deal' (from doctors).
 :-\ freakin' idiots.