Author Topic: Laughter is the best medicine . . .  (Read 47856 times)

Bucky

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Re: Laughter is the best medicine . . .
« Reply #150 on: July 13, 2010, 12:32:19 PM »
Your previous posts are cute ones ladies.   ;D


Since some of the SjS World members are having constipation issues, I came across this dandy and thought I would share:

When I was younger, all I wanted was a nice BMW.  Now, I don't care about the W.            ::)


Bucky    :D
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Bucky

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Re: Laughter is the best medicine . . .
« Reply #151 on: July 14, 2010, 01:13:59 PM »
From my files . . . . .

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
  The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

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A set of jumper cables walk into a bar.
   The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

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Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.


Bucky   ;D



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Bucky

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Re: Laughter is the best medicine . . .
« Reply #152 on: July 18, 2010, 02:12:12 PM »
'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home,'

'That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome,'

'Is it common?'

'Well, It's Not Unusual.'

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What do you call a fish with no eyes?

                        A fish!           ::)

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Bucky   ;D

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Joy Cox

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Re: Laughter is the best medicine . . .
« Reply #153 on: July 18, 2010, 02:46:37 PM »

The four grandkids kept asking me all this week why I was talking to myself and I answered, " I trying to think!'  :)

The house is sooooooo quiet now... They all left today after their annual week on the farm.   :( ;D 

Thanks for all the posts... brought much needed laughter to this tired soul!   :P
« Last Edit: July 18, 2010, 02:53:16 PM by Joy Cox »

SLEEPY101

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Re: Laughter is the best medicine . . .
« Reply #154 on: July 19, 2010, 09:29:22 PM »
Courtesy of my Husband. This really doesn't happen at our house, but I agree sometimes it should! ;D

My wife cooks so bad, we pray after we eat!! lol  :D

Bucky

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Re: Laughter is the best medicine . . .
« Reply #155 on: August 08, 2010, 02:57:08 PM »
From my files . . . . .


The economy is so bad, if the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds", you call and ask if they meant YOU or THEM  . . . . .





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Bucky

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Re: Laughter is the best medicine . . .
« Reply #156 on: August 17, 2010, 02:56:08 PM »
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were a bit cold, so they lit a fire in the craft.

It sank, proving once again that you cant have you kayak and heat it too!



 ;D   ;D   ;D   ;D   ;D   ;D
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RichyRich

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Re: Laughter is the best medicine . . .
« Reply #157 on: August 23, 2010, 10:47:18 AM »
I remember when I was a kid and we were all out in the backyard when my dad tells me to go get the football I got for Christmas so we can throw it around.  I hurriedly open the sliding glass door and ran to my room and grabbed the football.  I was running back and was almost outside when WHAM!, I ran into the closed sliding glass door.  We all had a good laugh at that one.

Bucky

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Re: Laughter is the best medicine . . .
« Reply #158 on: August 29, 2010, 11:42:40 AM »
Ouch RichyRich . . . bet you checked from then on to make sure the sliding door was open when you went running through the house!! 
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Here's one I found in a little insert that came to the house Ladies First . . . . .


I'll Trade You!

A family from the back hills of ________ (fill in the blank with a state of your choice) was visiting the big city for the very first time.

They were amazed at all the machines and fancy equipment that they saw.

They had never been to a mall, so they hit one of the biggest & busiest ones in Nashville.

There were in awe of all the people and all the shiny glass & metal.

One of the things that most intrigued them were these two metal doors that kept sliding together and apart.  People went in, but didn't come out.

The little boy asked his mother, "What is that thing?"  The mother (having never seen an elevator) responded, "For the life of me, I don't know, I've never seen such a thing!"

Just then an overweight, rather unattractive man walked past them & into the elevator.  They watched the area above the elevator as the little circle lit up from 2 - 10.  Moments later the numbers started coming down & soon the doors opened up again.

Off the elevator walked an absolutely handsome and extremely well-built man, who smiled at the woman.  You could see the woman thinking.  She turned to her son & said, "Quick, go get your dad!"

 ;D   ;D   ;D
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Bucky

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Re: Laughter is the best medicine . . .
« Reply #159 on: September 08, 2010, 11:12:22 AM »
Five Surgeons

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in:  "You know, I like construction workers . . those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed:  "You're all wrong.  Politicians are the easiest to operate on.  There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and the butt are interchangeable."

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Seeker

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Re: Laughter is the best medicine . . .
« Reply #160 on: September 08, 2010, 04:41:57 PM »
When a knight in armour was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave?
Rust in peace!

Seeker:)
Every day is an adventure, waiting to happen.

Bucky

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Re: Laughter is the best medicine . . .
« Reply #161 on: September 11, 2010, 11:16:59 AM »
An elderly woman goes to the doctor.  She says, "Doc, it's terrible, I pass gas all the time.  Fortunately, it's odorless and silent, otherwise I'd be mortified. For example, I've passed gas ten times just since we've been talking, but it's odorless and silent so you can't tell."

The doctor gives her some green pills and tells her to take one a day and come back in a week.

The woman comes back after taking the pills for a week.  She says, "Doc, there's been a change but not for the better.  I still pass gas all the time, but while it's still silent, now it smells terrible!"

The doctor says, "Well, I'm glad we cleared up your sinus blockage, now we'll have to work on your hearing."

 :o   ::)   :o   ::)   :o   ::)

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Prairie Gal

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Re: Laughter is the best medicine . . .
« Reply #162 on: September 14, 2010, 06:20:06 PM »
A man was telling a new acquaintance he and his wife had 6 children.  "That's quite a family," said the new acquaintance.

The man replied, "Yes, it is, and it happened because my wife's hard of hearing." 

"How did that affect the number of children you had?", asked the new acquaintance.

"Well," said the man, "when we went upstairs at night, I'd ask my wife if she wanted to go to sleep, or what."

She'd answer, "What?"

Ohiocat

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Re: Laughter is the best medicine . . .
« Reply #163 on: September 22, 2010, 05:52:28 PM »
My boss recently told me this one...


There was a lady that had a pet duck.   And one day, she went to feed the duck and it was just laying there.

So she took the duck to the vet, and he looked at it, and said "I am really sorry to tell you but it looks like your duck is dead."  

"Are you sure it is dead?" she asked.  "Is there anything that you can do to make sure?"

So he takes a towel, sets it on the floor and then places the duck on the towel on the floor.  Then he opens up a door and a cat walks out.  The cat walks up to the duck, circles it a couple times,  sniffs at it, and then walks out.

Next a dog comes in.  The dog walks up, circles around the duck a few times,  sniffs at it, and then walks out.

"I am sorry but your duck is definitely dead" says the vet.

"Okay then, how much do I own you?" asks the lady.

"One thousand dollars" he replies.

"One Thousand dollars!!   Just to tell me that my duck is dead?  How come it is so much?!?!"

"Well, it was not originally that expensive, but then after the cat scan and lab test, it adds up."
« Last Edit: September 22, 2010, 05:54:18 PM by Ohiocat »
female 50+, no thyroid - levthyroxin 125mcg; Primary Sjogrens:  Dry mouth; Dry eyes-thera tears, Restasis twice daily;

Bucky

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Re: Laughter is the best medicine . . .
« Reply #164 on: October 06, 2010, 02:29:01 PM »
A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school.  He didn't want his mother to walk with him.  She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some dependence, but yet knew that he was safe.

So, she had an idea of how to handle it.  She asked a neighbor, Mrs. Goodnest, if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn't notice her.

Mrs. Goodnest said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for her to get some exercise as well, so she agreed.

The next school day, Mrs. Goodnest and her little girl, Marcy, set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor boy he knew.

She did this for the whole week.

As the boys walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week.

Finally he said to Timmy, "Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week?"  Do you know her?"

Timmy nonchalantly replied, "Yeah, I know who she is". 

The friend said, "Well, who is she?"

"That's just Shirley Goodnest", Timmy replied, "and her daughter, Marcy."

"Well", Timmy replied, "every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, 'cuz she worries about me so much.  And in the Psalm, it says, "Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life, so I guess I'll just have to get used to it!"

                                                        ;D
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