Author Topic: To Work, or Not To Work...  (Read 17219 times)

jordozmom

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Re: To Work, or Not To Work...
« Reply #30 on: November 14, 2009, 08:35:46 PM »
This is an issue we have discussed over and over again at our house. My husband was laid off for awhile a couple of years ago and we dug ourselves quite a hole during that time. Had to empty our savings, retirement and max out the credit cards just to survive. He's working again, but not making quite what he was before. And now we have zero retirement and the bills from the credit cards. So I went back to work full-time. And it's wearing me out!!

He says that he will support me whatever decision I make about work, but if I quit we would have to sell the house and my daughter would probably have to quit dance. And we seem to have lost any ground we made with me working, as far as paying off the bills and saving is concerned, because now we spend so much on eating out and quick food that there's nothing left for extra on the bills.

It feels like lose, lose.

Oh Roetta, I'm so sorry.  It sounds like in addition to your health issue you've had to deal with a layoff and going back FT, too.  Makes me feel badly for even complaining!!!  You take care!!!
SJS, Raynauds, Distal Renal Tubular Acidosis, RA, peripheral neuropathy, COPD, RLS, leaky heart valve (caused by SJS), Lichen Sclerosis.
Plaquenil, Salagen, Sodium Bicarb, Klor-Con, Ambien, Methotrexate, COQ-10, VitD, Multivitamin, Omega 3, B12

BeckyG

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Re: To Work, or Not To Work...
« Reply #31 on: November 14, 2009, 09:10:16 PM »
This is something I have been contemplating the last year.  Though I am feeling better right now (besides the abcessed tooth but that is gone next week yeah!) I have already missed 10 days since July! I can not even believe that as all my prior jobs combined I never missed that much.  I am lucky to work in a faboulous company that understands and gives us tons of sick days a year (i currently have 20 and get another ten next year)  But even with that I feel so very guilty when I am not at work.  I am only 28 and have not even started the family route with my husband and even though we would like to I can't see being able to do that and work full time like I am currently!  I barely have energy right now some days to clean house or make dinner.  Right now the option isn't on the table as my husband is going to school to get a better job- when he is done in June I know I am going to face the decision on what I can do and what I can't do.   Part time sounds lovely and maybe I can look into that.

Good luck on your decision! Whatever you decide will hopefully make you happy!

Becky - I am so sorry about your tooth!  On top of everything else with this disease we have teeth issues!  Is it from your tooth falling apart?  I know mine do - they just crunch apart if I eat anything to hard.  Ugggh!  I am the same way about missing work.  My boss is VERY understanding and I'm very lucky to be here.  But even then I miss too much work and I feel terrible about it.  I don't like myself much as an employee, that's for sure!   I know how you feel, making dinner and cleaning house are the last on the list anymore.  I used to be total neat freak, too.  One of those people who defrosted the freezer at 10 p.m. at night just because it was driving me nuts!!!  Well, thanks for the reply and good luck with your tooth!!!

Ah yes the teeth falling apart.. this is my third though I never knew why my teeth fell apart till the sjs diagnosis! But after bugging all my coworkers I was given a wonderful dentist that has several patients with sjs already (Though I am the youngest by quite a bit!) In all I am to have removed three teeth on top of the two already removed before... one abscessed, ones close to abscessing and one is erupted? (falling out basically cause there is no tooth below it)  But the abscessed one has a giant hole in the middle of it right now. Thankfully it doesn't hurt much- better than when my salivary glands swell up!  Anyways all will be good next week and from the sounds of it I even get some drugs to make me goofy for the day.  Should keep my husband and cat entertained  :D

eyeamdry

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Re: To Work, or Not To Work...
« Reply #32 on: November 14, 2009, 09:11:01 PM »
Quote
And my mom is in the same boat - we are all grown and gone and my dad passed away last year and even though she has sclerdoerma and pulmonary fibrosis and is 76 she still works full time because she is afraid that if she stops she'll turn into a "blob" (funny, she used the same word!).

Hats off to jordozmom's mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  This lady is an inspiration.  My sister's mother-in-law worked into her 80's as a medical secretary because she couldn't just "stay home."  She was deaf and couldn't drive any more because of her eyes, so she took a cab back and forth to work.  She is now 97 and hasn't worked in some time.  Lucy

roetta

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Re: To Work, or Not To Work...
« Reply #33 on: November 16, 2009, 11:32:24 AM »
Jordozmom - Never feel sorry for complaining on here! That's what we're here for!!  ;D

katyjo

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Re: To Work, or Not To Work...
« Reply #34 on: November 18, 2009, 12:40:35 PM »
If it is possible, cutting back would be great.  I have a couple young of kids.  I don't know the future, so I try to be available to my family phyisically and emotionally as much as I can be.  Giving more love every day can do great things!!  Take care of yourself.     

Rostradamus

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Re: To Work, or Not To Work...
« Reply #35 on: December 31, 2009, 03:35:23 AM »
Perhaps a change to a home operated business; work when you can. A Ma & Pa thing. It would make you independent where ever you move as well. I wish I had been able to do this befor it got bad. Now it is Too late and I'm at a loss to know how to save our home.  So go ahead and maybe work for yourself;a craft an art, write a book. A new page to your life.  I know there may be many days you can't do what you hope to do, or think you can do.  So, maybe consider it a hobbie to start. And the very best luck to you.

jpd54

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Re: To Work, or Not To Work...
« Reply #36 on: December 31, 2009, 08:34:48 AM »
I saw a neuropsych dr for my brain fog in February.  His tests reflected that my attention and short term memory were extremely affected.  Saw him two weeks ago and it had gotten worse.  I haven't been able to work for two years.  The stress was just too much.  I am hoping that my naps and "stressfree" life will allow me to do some of the simple things I haven't been able to do - take walks, water aerobics, cook.  My husband said maybe I will get back to being my old self soon.  Miss working sometimes but enjoy having "my time".  55 and tired.   

Happy New Year to all.

   jpd
SJS, Fibro, Osteoarthritis, Osteoporosis, GERD, Rosacea, TMJ

Celebrex, Gabapentin, Lasix, Potassium,Hydroxychloroquine, Lexapro, Lisinopril / Hydrochlorothiazide, Linzess, Metoclopram, Nexium, Oracea, Savella, Simvastatin, Vitamin D, Voltaren

inga

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Re: To Work, or Not To Work...
« Reply #37 on: December 31, 2009, 12:20:51 PM »
If you do not contribute to social sec. for more than 10 quarters, you can not file for disability.  It is a personal decision to quit or stay working, so consider your financial status, how difficult it is to get a job in your field, your age, all that.

I don't work any more and don't get SSDI either.  I am fortunate in that we can make it, but it has affected our bottom line.

I wish I had tried to hang on to employment and now at 57, and sick, it is a lost cause to get hired....even in nursing.  I am an RN.  I can't meet the requirements for many nursing jobs, such as lifting 50 lbs.  I can't do shift work nor work odd shifts.  This limits my options.  I have PN as well, so I can't use my hands very well.

As other posters have said, it is lonely at home, then again my kids are grown.  I find I have to do volunteer work and join organizations not to go insane.

 I may have a grandson to watch for a year while a daughter is deployed, and that will be a huge challenge as he will be very young.  But you do what you have to do.

If you can get light duty or part time, perhaps that will allow you to keep working.  I do understand how difficult work can be with a disease and young children at  home.  I didn't know when my kids were young, that I had a 'disease'.  I was just sick and tired.  When my kids were young, I would have stayed home in a heartbeat.

SassieCat

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Re: To Work, or Not To Work...
« Reply #38 on: December 31, 2009, 08:35:55 PM »
Been there, felt that and it's a very personal choice only you can make.  I have been off work for almost a year now.  Things have settled and I feel much better.  Now I am thinking of returning to work again but at less hours.  I keep tossing it back and forth in my mind.  Don't know if I will bring me back down if I do.   :-\

If I do return to work, I will post something for others to see and follow along if they want to. 

Best of luck to you and may your body find peace and comfort. 

Rhonda

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Re: To Work, or Not To Work...
« Reply #39 on: January 02, 2010, 06:52:02 PM »
I can sure understand where you all are coming from.  I too am considering quitting work due to the extreme fatigue and stress.  I work 8  hours a day and commute nearly 1 1/2 hours each way. I also take online classes at night.  My rheumy says I need to slow down and take it easy, but how do I do that and continue to work? My husband is all for my retirement, but I feel so guilty about it I can hardly go make myself go through with it.  However, I know in my heart, I am not going to make it much longer. My SJS and RA are getting so bad I can hardly walk sometimes due to the pain and stiffness.  The fatigue is phenominal - absolutely indescribable. So, yes, I understand your dilemma.  God bless.

SassieCat

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Re: To Work, or Not To Work...
« Reply #40 on: January 02, 2010, 07:21:41 PM »
Rhonda,

You poor girl, I know how you feel.  I used to feel so much pressure trying to recooperate from work so I could go back for another day.  Weekends were all about rest and trying to make my body quit hurting and feel better. 

jordozmom

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Re: To Work, or Not To Work...
« Reply #41 on: January 05, 2010, 01:31:25 PM »
Been there, felt that and it's a very personal choice only you can make.  I have been off work for almost a year now.  Things have settled and I feel much better.  Now I am thinking of returning to work again but at less hours.  I keep tossing it back and forth in my mind.  Don't know if I will bring me back down if I do.   :-\

If I do return to work, I will post something for others to see and follow along if they want to. 

Best of luck to you and may your body find peace and comfort. 

SassieCat - That would be great if you kept us posted.  You will have gone through the whole cycle/experience by then and can share it with us.  Good luck to you and your decision - take care of yourself!!
SJS, Raynauds, Distal Renal Tubular Acidosis, RA, peripheral neuropathy, COPD, RLS, leaky heart valve (caused by SJS), Lichen Sclerosis.
Plaquenil, Salagen, Sodium Bicarb, Klor-Con, Ambien, Methotrexate, COQ-10, VitD, Multivitamin, Omega 3, B12

jordozmom

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Re: To Work, or Not To Work...
« Reply #42 on: January 05, 2010, 01:36:16 PM »
Thank you to all of you for the fantastic advice and words of support.  You are all stars!!!!
SJS, Raynauds, Distal Renal Tubular Acidosis, RA, peripheral neuropathy, COPD, RLS, leaky heart valve (caused by SJS), Lichen Sclerosis.
Plaquenil, Salagen, Sodium Bicarb, Klor-Con, Ambien, Methotrexate, COQ-10, VitD, Multivitamin, Omega 3, B12

irish

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Re: To Work, or Not To Work...
« Reply #43 on: January 05, 2010, 09:12:47 PM »
I see that some of you are talking about the financial problems that occur and the impact on lives when you have to quit work. There are several people out there who have written books and have ways to become debt free. These are not quack or crazy programs. They are developed by people who have frequently been through bankruptcy and know the problems that occur with debt.

Actually, they also have budget planning included in their programs. If you want to find some of these plans you could just google debt free and I think there would be many sites that you be listed. Most of these are just plain old common sense plus some good ideas that help a person out. We have a couple sons who are following these ideas from 2 different people. Both of them heard about the plan from others and just bought a book by the person who started the program. No gimmicks. These sons are having good luck with their budgeting. It is tough but helps make life more certain from the financial side. Irish ;D

SassieCat

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Re: To Work, or Not To Work...
« Reply #44 on: January 05, 2010, 10:09:07 PM »
Jordozmom

I still have been procrastinating on submitting the papers to go back to work.  Apparently it is not as simple as getting a note from my doctor and going back.  Because I left on disabilty (or else I would have lost my job due to too much absence), I went through all the steps to be able to collect my disabiltiy/pension from where I work.  I am not under social security.  So for me to go back, I need to submit a letter requesting that I would like to return, along with my doctors note that it is okay with them.   Then this will go before a review board and they will have me see one of their state doctors who will determine if I can return and under what limitations.

Needless to say, the whole thing makes me anxious and nervous.  I am somewhat afraid of becoming the crippled person I was a year ago and enduring the #10 scale pain.  I don't want to be defeated by my body again.  But on the other hand, money is tight and I feel the 'need' to be able to survive.  So..... here I sit and here I keep thinking about it and weighing the options out.   :'(